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Relationships

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Original poster

Condescending tone from partner

53 replies

BlueOceanWave · 09/05/2021 17:55

Me and my partner don't live together. We had vague open ended plans yesterday. We chatted on the phone in the morning and I said to him I will phone him if I go out walking and we could meet for a walk. It was vague and open ended.

We came into the afternoon and I was busy doing chores and laundry around the house. By about 4 O clock in the even, my tummy was sore and crampy and I had to go to the toilet a few times. Afterwards I decided to lie down for a nap. Afterwards I was hungry and I decided to have something to eat. My feet were sore all week. I had a hard week so I decided to have a foot bath and cut my toenails because it was a few months. I find it hard to grab time for myself and I decided it was time to cut my toenails.

By about 8.30 I found that I missed 3 calls in total from my partner throughout the course of the day. I didn't have the phone on me all the time. I finished cutting my toenails and I rang him back.

I got a condescending tone from him on the phone. It wasn't the first time we had vague open ended plans so he knew the drill and there were times when he too were busy with chores and helping his father around the farm. The weather was not the best yesterday and he decided to take it easy and have a lazy day. I got a condescending tone from him on the phone when we chatted in the evening, almost as if he expected me to be available for him because he decided to do little with his day. My feet were genuinely sore and I really needed to clip the toenails. I had good intentions to go walking but by evening the idea of going out walking yesterday didn't appeal to me and it also meant I would be pushing an aspect of person hygiene (the footbath and toenail clippings) out to another day.

I don't feel very easy or pleased witnessing such a condescending tone from him.

OP posts:

DriftingTurtles · 09/05/2021 18:02

Make more solid plans next time?

YarnOver · 09/05/2021 18:08

I can't say I blame him OP.... if I were him, I would be pretty miffed and disappointed that I came second to your toenails!!!

YarnOver · 09/05/2021 18:10

Actually no thinking about it OP, if I were him I'd be really offended.

ravenmum · 09/05/2021 18:20

almost as if he expected me to be available for him because he decided to do little with his day
He kept his day free because he had plans to meet up with you later, right? So your actions did affect what he did with his day. It would have been polite to tell him that you weren't meeting up, even if the plans were vague. No need to mention how often you used the toilet or how urgently your nails needed cutting. Just let him know early enough to make different plans.

itsureis · 09/05/2021 18:32

Why couldn't you have messaged him when you'd decided to spend the day at home ?

MuckyPlucky · 09/05/2021 18:43

This is a v odd post. You describe him as your partner so it must be a fairly established & close relationship. You don’t live together so I’m assuming weekends are the time you get to spend together. Your partner was probably assuming that you’d at least see eachother yesterday whether you went for a walk or not (or that maybe you’d jointly decide not to).

I get the need for downtime & solitude. But to just go totally awol & total radio silence on such a day is just bizarre. Why couldn’t you have sent a quick text at least saying:

“Hey lovely...hope you’re ok? Catching up with a few chores now and feeling the need for some downtime later. Shall we meet tomorrow for our walk instead? Hope you’re having a good day today. Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow”

Ginger1982 · 09/05/2021 18:44

You sound like hard work. Toenails? FFS!

Meowchickameowmeow · 09/05/2021 18:49

It's a bit odd to not text someone who you refer to as your partner and just say 'feeling a bit off, ring you later' or something. Do you even want to see him?
I hope he didn't get as much info about your day as we did because it's honestly not as riveting as you might think.

Macaroni46 · 09/05/2021 18:55

You seem rather obsessed with your toenails 🤔🤮😂
I don't blame your OH for being pissed off. Why the f'ck didn't you just communicate with him during the day so he knew you didn't want to see him. I'd be very hurt if I had vague plans with my partner and they just ghosted me for the day.
All seems very odd to me. You'd rather cut your toenails than see your partner?
Also, never known toenail cutting to be quite such a big event. Surely a quick trim after a shower would do the job??

MiddleParking · 09/05/2021 18:57

This has cracked me up

YarnOver · 09/05/2021 18:59

@MiddleParking

This has cracked me up

Likewise. I keep coming back because I want to see what other people's comments are 😂. I keep thinking that it really must be a joke and OP really could not be serious... But ..she is. Which is great!

Brawsome · 09/05/2021 18:59

Will there be more drama when it’s the turn of your fingernails? Maybe pencil In some time for them and give him plenty of warning?

Srirachachacha · 09/05/2021 19:03

@YarnOver

Actually no thinking about it OP, if I were him I'd be really offended.

Exactly. "I'm washing my hair" is a bit less offensive...

ForestDad · 09/05/2021 19:06

Saw this post an hour ago but have spent the time clipping my toes hence late reply.
No OP it's completely normal to bin off your partner to have a poo, nap, dinner, clip your toes and not have time to send a message or even think about them.

FourTurnings · 09/05/2021 19:08

There’s a lot of emphasis on toenail cutting here.

Meowchickameowmeow · 09/05/2021 19:09

to have a poo

I think you'll find it was a few poos

FourTurnings · 09/05/2021 19:10

I’ve been married for years and would rather see him than cut my toenails. My marriage can’t be too bad after all 😀

HoldontoOneMoreDay · 09/05/2021 19:12

You checked your phone then you finished cutting your toenails then you called him back? How arduous a task is clipping your nails that you need to take a wee phone break inbetween? It's ten nails, not the Forth Bridge lass.

MyCatIsADentist · 09/05/2021 19:13

I think you need to be better at communicating. It’s fine to decide you need a quiet day to yourself, but it’s polite and respectful to your partner to let them know instead of keeping them hanging with vague plans. He could have put his day to better use if he had known you weren’t interested in meeting that day.

springblossom2 · 09/05/2021 19:18

So much detail in the original post. I feel overwhelmed. I may have to go for a lie down.

YarnOver · 09/05/2021 19:18

@HoldontoOneMoreDay

Sexy

Shoxfordian · 09/05/2021 19:18

Would have been easy to send a quick text to tell him you’re busy

Cleverpolly3 · 09/05/2021 19:24

I can’t recall an occasion in my entire life thus far when I’ve read the words “condescending” and “toenails” together.
Until now.

So Thanks for that

springblossom2 · 09/05/2021 19:24

@YarnOver

Meowchickameowmeow · 09/05/2021 19:29

Oh god, those long toenails are terrifying. How would you wear shoes, or get into bed or do useful things like walk?

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