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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Condescending tone from partner

53 replies

BlueOceanWave · 09/05/2021 17:55

Me and my partner don't live together. We had vague open ended plans yesterday. We chatted on the phone in the morning and I said to him I will phone him if I go out walking and we could meet for a walk. It was vague and open ended.

We came into the afternoon and I was busy doing chores and laundry around the house. By about 4 O clock in the even, my tummy was sore and crampy and I had to go to the toilet a few times. Afterwards I decided to lie down for a nap. Afterwards I was hungry and I decided to have something to eat. My feet were sore all week. I had a hard week so I decided to have a foot bath and cut my toenails because it was a few months. I find it hard to grab time for myself and I decided it was time to cut my toenails.

By about 8.30 I found that I missed 3 calls in total from my partner throughout the course of the day. I didn't have the phone on me all the time. I finished cutting my toenails and I rang him back.

I got a condescending tone from him on the phone. It wasn't the first time we had vague open ended plans so he knew the drill and there were times when he too were busy with chores and helping his father around the farm. The weather was not the best yesterday and he decided to take it easy and have a lazy day. I got a condescending tone from him on the phone when we chatted in the evening, almost as if he expected me to be available for him because he decided to do little with his day. My feet were genuinely sore and I really needed to clip the toenails. I had good intentions to go walking but by evening the idea of going out walking yesterday didn't appeal to me and it also meant I would be pushing an aspect of person hygiene (the footbath and toenail clippings) out to another day.

I don't feel very easy or pleased witnessing such a condescending tone from him.

OP posts:
YarnOver · 09/05/2021 19:30

@Meowchickameowmeow

Oh god, those long toenails are terrifying. How would you wear shoes, or get into bed or do useful things like walk?
Well exactly.

That's why it took OP so bloody long to cut hers - she didn't want to take any risks in having toenails so long that she couldn't walk
Obviously.

sammylady37 · 09/05/2021 19:42

Umm... how long does it take cut your toenails??

HoldontoOneMoreDay · 09/05/2021 19:49

@YarnOver mmmm shexhy...

Karwomannghia · 09/05/2021 19:51

There’s something of the snap and fart in this. Can’t quite put my finger on it!

SionnachGlic · 09/05/2021 19:51

Enough with the toenails...it takes 5 minutes to do.
Why do you have to account for every second... just say you were catching up on thngs & the day went by. I do think though if there is a vague plan made with someone that maybe you might meet up that when you decide against it or realise it won't happen that day that a quick text to say so is just courteous. But I agree with other posters, much ado about the toenails is odd...plus I wouldn't want to know about a personal hygiene exercise, wd much prefer to be told that you just needed a rest...

EasterEggBelly · 09/05/2021 19:55

Don’t understand why you couldn’t have just dropped him a message to say you no longer felt like a walk. Would have taken 10 seconds.

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/05/2021 20:01

You really need to cut your toe nails more than once every couple of months. It takes hardly any time at all and it’s very basic hygiene and self care.

You call this man your partner. You either enjoy his company or you don’t. If you’d rather cut your nails than see him then just dump him so he can find someone else.

YarnOver · 09/05/2021 21:59

I'd say I don't think OP will be coming back to this...
But she probably is, it's just that she's currently busy trimming her pubes

EdwinPootsLovesArchaeology · 09/05/2021 22:05

There really are toe clipping enthusiasts out there, flying under the radar as condescendees. Just saying, guys.

Confusedaboutlots · 09/05/2021 22:16

eh? didn’t need to know you did a couple of pops and cut your toe nails really

but def sounds like you preferred doing that to seeing your partner

surely you could have invited him over so you could do those fun activities together - he could have clipped your toe nails for you.

Ginger1982 · 09/05/2021 22:53

Most of the OP's previous threads have the same weird tone to them.

Leaveitinthepast · 09/05/2021 22:58

@Ginger1982 such as Hmm?

Howshouldibehave · 09/05/2021 22:59

Blimey-how long does it take you to cut your toenails Grin. I don’t think it’s ever taken me more than about 3 minutes?!

Chocolatefreak · 10/05/2021 12:03

I had a hard week so I decided to have a foot bath and cut my toenails because it was a few months

A few MONTHS?!!!

ItsCokeFFS · 10/05/2021 12:35

How can you expect us to answer when you have given so little detail?

we really, really don't care about the minutiae of your bowels/toenails

snackmonster · 10/05/2021 13:41

I can't stop laughing at this post and all the comments Grin

Aliceinunderland · 10/05/2021 15:00

Is this one of those games where you have to take a shot every time the OP says toe nails? If so, my light weight self will be sozzled by the school run

YarnOver · 10/05/2021 18:57

@YarnOver

I'd say I don't think OP will be coming back to this... But she probably is, it's just that she's currently busy trimming her pubes
Holy crap it's taking ages. Tis a jungle down there
PurpleSunrise · 10/05/2021 19:00

That is a lot of focus on toenails Grin but yes you were a bit rude!

greatauntfanny · 10/05/2021 19:16

I'm all fall standing men up to do a poo, have a lie down and cut my toenails. More power to you OP 😂

Dozer · 10/05/2021 19:21

‘Condescending’ seems like a malapropism here. Unless perhaps he was mansplaining home pedi / clipping techniques?

Dozer · 10/05/2021 19:21

(Thought this thread needed some pedantry).

billy1966 · 10/05/2021 19:40

🤣🤣

PhillipPhillop · 10/05/2021 20:06

I can just imagine how I'd feel if a loved one stood me up to cut their toenails. You sure it was a condescending tone? I'd probably have used a more appropriate 'tone'.

sunnyblackwidow · 10/05/2021 20:10

Wow you are spectacularly rude. Keeping someone waiting around the whole day in the hope of meeting up for a walk.

Why didn't you just message him you weren't going anymore....or at the very least pick up his call? Don't you posses any manners at all?