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Original poster

A condom was in his pocket

45 replies

Annonpl · 05/05/2021 18:00

I've namechanged for this and I have no clue what to do.

When my boyfriend got back he took his jacket off and a condom fell out of his pocket. I asked him why it was in his pocket and he said he didn't know, he then said it was for us. I said to him that we haven't been having sex as I recently gave birth to our son, he said that he was going to ask. I know his lying but I have no idea what to do Sad

OP posts:
InFiveMins · 05/05/2021 18:09

Sorry OP Thanks you know he's lying. Can you afford to chuck him out?

LadyCluck · 05/05/2021 18:14

Sorry OP. That doesn’t sound good or particularly believable on his part.

seensome · 05/05/2021 18:14

It's quite common to use condoms if still breast feeding and not your not on hormonal treatment but it's a bit strange not to discuss contraception first before buying them and I would think he would of bought a box not just a single one.
Do you not trust him anyway op?

Wellies54 · 05/05/2021 18:35

This happened to me. A few months after my DD was born I found a condom in my Dh's pocket after a night out. Same excuses as yours! The eventual answer was that he took it out on a whim because I didn't want sex that night and he was annoyed but he didn't really intend to use it. We're still together 10 years later but it definitely damaged trust. The best thing you can do is sit down with him and try to have an honest discussion. Is he feeling scared that you will not have a sex life from now on? Is he feeling pushed out by your bond with the baby? It's better to address this now and get him to realise that he can be honest and open about his feelings with you, rather than bottle things up and destroy what he has with you.

WishICouldThinkOfAGoodName · 05/05/2021 18:46

He’s lying

Starstruck2021 · 05/05/2021 18:47

Got back from where?

Susannahmoody · 05/05/2021 18:47

Got back from where? Do you live together?

Susannahmoody · 05/05/2021 18:48

Ha, starstruck Grin

FTEngineerM · 05/05/2021 18:51

Why would you not know why there is a condom in your pocket?

It’s not like you had to use them before the baby was born so it wasn’t just lingering from a few weeks ago or what ever.

Aquamarine1029 · 05/05/2021 18:53

I asked him why it was in his pocket and he said he didn't know

Yes, condoms magically appear in my pockets all the time. Not only is he a cheater, he's really, really stupid.

Kick his arse out the door, that's what you do. Come on, now.

Original poster
Annonpl · 05/05/2021 18:57

He got back from the shop after work. Our son is only 4 weeks old. I do usually trust him but I knew he was lying straight away because if he was going to ask he would've had a box and not just the one.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 05/05/2021 19:04

Get rid of the skanky fuckwit.

toocold54 · 05/05/2021 19:07

Do you usually wear a condom for sex?
I’d be very surprised if this was anything other than him being sneaky.

Sometimes men wear a condom to have a wank but again he would have brought a box.
It doesn’t look good OP sorry.

notapizzaeater · 05/05/2021 19:12

My ex also had a condom in his wallet - his excuse was he was going to blow it up and put it on his head .... he was shagging my best friend

Icancelledthecheque · 05/05/2021 19:13

Ask to see the box, then you’ll have your answer.

cakecakecheese · 05/05/2021 19:14

Yeah unfortunately it does sound like a lie, it wouldn't be a single one, it'd more likely be a packet and would be in a bedside drawer.

Any other signs that he's been up to anything? Hiding his phone etc?

MadeForThis · 05/05/2021 19:16

If it was for you and him why would he be carrying it in his jacket? Wouldn't it still be in the box?

Elegantactivator · 05/05/2021 19:16

@WishICouldThinkOfAGoodName
OP literally said that. Can't you read? Or did you genuinely think it a worthwhile contribution to the thread?

Aquamarine1029 · 05/05/2021 19:17

Of course it's a fucking lie. Do you think he took the condom for a jaunt about town to see the sights before he asked you for a shag? Don't believe a single thing that comes out of his lying face. He is going to try and gaslight you into believing some ridiculous tale, don't be the fool he's hoping you'll be.

Fabiofatshaft1 · 05/05/2021 19:23

He’s lying, you know he’s lying, and he knows you know, he’s lying.

You have a bairn, it’s easy to say kick him to the kerb, but this is a time when you need more love and support than at almost any other time.

But part of that cadre of love and support is trust, honesty and belief.

He needs to understand he’s a father now, with a young mother / partner to support.

He needs to understand it, not just on a superficial level but you need to ram it home to him.

“ You are a father to our beautiful baby, GROW UP & FUCKING ACT LIKE IT !!!! ‘

Happycat1212 · 05/05/2021 19:27

There are so very naive people on here, of course it’s a lie 😕

Aquamarine1029 · 05/05/2021 19:27

He needs to understand he’s a father now, with a young mother / partner to support.

He needs to understand it, not just on a superficial level but you need to ram it home to him.

“You are a father to our beautiful baby, GROW UP & FUCKING ACT LIKE IT !!!!"

But here's the thing... He doesn't fucking care. If he did, he wouldn't be getting condoms to carry around whilst looking for someone to shag. You can't make someone be honourable.

KurtWilde · 05/05/2021 19:27

Had this with exh. He came back from working away for a week and I noticed him take something out of his overnight bag and throw it in one of the desk drawers. Had a look to see why it was and there was a condom sat on top of our bills and stuff. Took it downstairs, presented him with it and his first response was it had probably always been there. Er no. Then he said he didn't know how or why it was in the drawer. Told him I'd seen him throw it in there so he admitted he had but he didn't know how or why it got into his work bag and he knew I'd react unreasonably if I saw it. Excuses excuses blah blah blah didn't I trust him?? Up until that point, yes, after that not so much.

You know he's lying OP.

SirGawain · 05/05/2021 19:30

Sometimes men wear a condom to have a wank but again he would have brought a box.

I think that this is a myth. What would be the point?

Closetbeanmuncher · 05/05/2021 19:44

But here's the thing... He doesn't fucking care. If he did, he wouldn't be getting condoms to carry around whilst looking for someone to shag. You can't make someone be honourable

Spot on, you can't polish a turd.

If you're not already financially independant OP I advise you to secure this ASAP. Same to you too wellies because literally nobody does that.

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