Dating and texting

[lucy5236]

Just wondered what everyone thinks of texting and OLD....I don't know if I'm being awkward and impossible to please or if there's anyone else like this.

I know how contradictory this sounds but I'm driving myself crazy......

How much do you text/message someone you're chatting to online before your first date??

I've had situations at both ends of the spectrum. I can chat to guys who only message once every couple of days or so. I always wish they'd text more often and I worry they're not that interested and playing games. How can you get to know someone without talking??

But then the last few days I've been chatting to someone and he's texting so much that I'm finding it a total turn off. I actually feel the need to respond is putting me off chatting to him altogether. For example, he messaged a lot when we first matched which didn't bother me so much but now it's putting me off. He'll text and I'll leave a couple of hours between replies and as soon as I've replied I get another text 3 minutes later and the cycle starts again! I was really busy over the weekend so text him in the morning explaining what I was doing all day but would reply properly later and I ended up feel guilty not replying.

I'm an independent woman, single mum, been single for most of the last 6 years and don't need a DP. So I know I could just tell this guy I'm not interested and I'm under no duty at all to constantly text.

However, my last 5 years of dating experience is that the guys who hardly text are generally less interested and/or players....so am I giving up on potentially good guys by being put off by constant texting?!
I feel like I'm sabotaging any chance of dating before we even meet but it's such a turn off, like makes me cringe inside?
Maybe if I meet him and we're into each other I'll be less bothered about the constant texting or will it get worse??

If you haven’t even chatted on the phone or met, this endless texting is a waste of time.

Sorry the date wasn’t great, OP! At least you went for it, so now you know. Onward, with no regrets!

And if he’s a nice guy, as he sounds, he will be just perfect for someone out there I’m sure.

Any more irons in the fire for you?

@Sadsiblingatsea

If you haven’t even chatted on the phone or met, this endless texting is a waste of time.

Not for everyone. If I hadn’t texted my boyfriend loads before I met him I would have been TERRIFIED on our first date. I’m very shy! I was quite nervous as it was, but being able to text him on the way in and tell him how scared I was, and that I was wearing awful shoes, etc etc, certainly helped.....

It’s personal preference, innit? Works for some and not others. You just have to find your match.

Good you went. Although on the otherhand annoying when you make all the arrangements and have to then spend precious free time with someone you don't really want to. That is why it is so important to meet as soon as you can though and your post makes sense i've been there too. I thought there is absolutely no way this guy and i won't have a connection in real life as we'd txted for ages about everything all the time then when i saw him i got the instant 'ick'. I wonder what this guy is hoping to gain by asking you all these questions. I can't even see couples texting like this? even in the early stages. Funny experience i have had is with someone who i had such good chemistry with, butterflies all the time, but we didn't speak the same language so we would text and translate each others messages and whenever we met we'd be using translate apps to 'speak' to each other. Some connections really don't need communication but obviously this wasn't ever going to be a long term thing. But shows there are positives to texting.