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I've done something

32 replies

Pollypocket89 · 04/05/2021 12:15

I think I've done something stupid

For those that read my other threads, I'm not sure what context I can give for anyone that hasn't - my dh had a friendship with a work colleague, potentially an emotional affair

This morning I checked his phone. I saw her on there and blocked her. She left 3 weeks ago so I don't think any contact is appropriate. The messages were infrequent and not flirty at all but it made me feel sick that he was still entertaining her

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Pesimistic · 09/05/2021 16:39

@Pollypocket89

He does know, see above, we fought. I saw it, blocked her then shouted at him. I just couldn't believe she was back in my life, even just on his phone. I think he doesn't understand why of all things I flipped over a mechanic recommendation. She wasn't flirting with him at all but it's like she'll be in his head forever

I think the problem is she's in your head forever, you can't trust him it's time to move on

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Pollypocket89 · 09/05/2021 16:49

I can't just move on though, I'm about to give birth.

I don't understand. If I was him and she sent me that message I'd be too embarrassed to keep following after she said have a nice life

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beenwhereyouare · 09/05/2021 18:56

Oh, Polly.

I've followed all your threads, and your situation makes me hurt for you. You're a loyal, loving person who deserves so much better from him. I know you know this, but I don't think you believe it.

He's still not treating you with respect. You're NOT wrong, he IS being an ass, and the fact that he still follows her Instagram account (modeling her own lingerie creations) is just another indication that he puts her and his own feelings before yours. He shouldn't be carrying on this way still, and though the messages were innocuous on their own, they're part of the larger pattern of his inappropriate behaviour and feelings. This has been going on for such a long time. Struggling to believe and trust him must be exhausting.

You are worth so much more. Please let yourself believe this.

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Pollypocket89 · 09/05/2021 19:00

Thank you. I probably sound like a fool still being here and loving him still

I just really really thought it was done. The instagram is just normal photos thankfully, mainly her face or pets or friends or holidays. No lingerie thankfully. But that almost makes it worse because if he still wants to follow her when she basically said bye to him, why??

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beenwhereyouare · 09/05/2021 19:00

And congratulations on the new baby. I hope you have an easy delivery and get all the love and support you need.

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Pollypocket89 · 09/05/2021 19:02

That's very kind, thank you x

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beenwhereyouare · 09/05/2021 20:01

It's Mother's Day here, so a busy day, but I want to answer you properly later; maybe a pm?

In the meantime, don't be so hard on yourself. I don't think you're silly, just someone trying to hold her marriage together. The last thing you need is for you (or anyone else) beating you up about that. You need to come to a decision on your own timeline.