In laws want our family to live round the corner from them !

[Catgirl76]

Hi Never done a thread before so please bear with me ! My MIL & FIL (and my middle aged SIL lives with them) want my DH and children & myself to move closer to them.
But we only live about 4 miles away if that. Only about 15 min drive. But MIL keeps going on about how because of the pandemic families should live within short walking distance.
I consider this unreasonable and odd. I haven't said anything to the remarks yet as they came out of nowhere.

I just wondered if anyone else out there has this sort of thing going on. It's all about control. If we livedaround the corner our lives wouldn't be our own.

Don't even entertain this madness

So just say no, you live perfectly within a reasonable distance, just ignore them

Don't do it.

Hahaha no .

Nope. Nah. FUCK NO.

This batshittery would make me move 200 miles in the opposite direction, honestly.

Nooooooooooo

Nooooooooooooooooooooo

Naw

Never

We had to move a long way from where we were living as we were priced out of the area. We ended up back in Dh home town (it's cheap).

We are currently a ten min drive from the in laws. We keep getting told we are "so far away" and "in the middle of nowhere". They want us on thier street, just as SIL is. Not a chance.

Don’t do it. With their attitude I’d probably move further away.

Is there a reason SIL still lives with them?

No. Don’t do it. Just say you’re quite happy with where you’re living and you have no plans to move. And keep saying it.

You're plenty close enough as it is! What does your DH say about it?

You already live around the corner. So they want you to spend XX on stamp duty + moving costs to live slightly closer.

The fact that you have given this clearly batshit proposal any consideration at all suggests an abnormally controlling relationship.

I assume that you would not have started a thread unless your DH is giving moving some thought.

You live close enough.

We live 2 hours from in laws and MIL has now spent over a decade harping on about how we should move. Gets my back up every time.

We live a good way from my parents and moving to ILs would make it 3.5 hours. I think she is very selfish to expect it. It's a real bone of contention.

No no and thrice no!. Your MIL is batshit mad.

@AttilaTheMeerkat

No no and thrice no!. Your MIL is batshit mad.

This in spades

Living closer doesn't have to mean your lives wouldn't be your own. I live within spitting distance of most of my family. We're not in one another's pockets. Have the perks of being able to see for 10 minutes, not planning in advance and having to be there for hours. Can equally be spontaneous.

The definite benefits are the children (cousins) are all incredibly close and spend lots of time together. We all support one another, with regards illness, childcare, covid etc. We all share the loads of care for elderly relatives. We have a really close relationship.

Personally, though 15 minutes doesn't sound far away. It does totally change the dynamics of the relationship. One sibling moved 20 minutes away and is now looking at moving more locally due to this.

I live 5 mins walking from in laws. It was our decision when purchasing the house , it’s got its good and bad things. However , again it was our decision. Nobody asked us to live by them. My family live in Europe , so I’ve completely the opposite thing.
Don’t move closer if you don’t think you’ll like it

That would be a no from me!

Hell no!

Moving house is a very expensive process.

I really don’t see what relevance the pandemic has for moving from 4 miles distance to 400m.

Yes, it can be great to live very close. The point is that if someone is insistent on it, that might signal that they would indeed be in your face the whole time.

Well at least it is you they want to move and not them, so you have control over the matter .

I like the advice someone gave on another thread where they suggest asking "why?" to each nonsensical thing the person says to grind them down until they cannot answer and may finally realise they are talking utter rubbish. You could try that!

I can’t understand how this went further in your head than a ‘haha no’ and that be the end of it. Is there a back story here?

all the nopes.

No.
And no again.

Agree, this would have me running for the hills. Is there somewhere at least an hour away you've always fancied moving to?