In laws want our family to live round the corner from them !

[Catgirl76]

Hi Never done a thread before so please bear with me ! My MIL & FIL (and my middle aged SIL lives with them) want my DH and children & myself to move closer to them.
But we only live about 4 miles away if that. Only about 15 min drive. But MIL keeps going on about how because of the pandemic families should live within short walking distance.
I consider this unreasonable and odd. I haven't said anything to the remarks yet as they came out of nowhere.

I just wondered if anyone else out there has this sort of thing going on. It's all about control. If we livedaround the corner our lives wouldn't be our own.

God no.
Couldn't bear the idea they might call around every day with no notice, even if it was only for 10 minutes.

Similar-ish here in that my SiL+family and PiL live within 5 minutes drive of eachother (it was literally a road away from eachother before that). We live 150 miles away and recently bought a (long term) house in the area that we've lived in for 10 years. In-laws have all been quite transparent about how disappointed they are that we haven't elected to give up our jobs and move closer to "home". (DH and I both grew up where in-laws and my parents live, but don't view it as home and haven't for a long time). We get comments about how sad it is that our DC won't know their cousins or grandparents, and how it's such a shame that we can't just pop over unannounced and see eachother all the time... Which is something I wouldn't even want with my own family who I love dearly (and have managed to be very close to our DC as they put in effort to maintain an interest and involvement in their lives, the distance doesn't affect it!)

Honestly, I say smile, ignore and you do you! At 15 mins away you're hardly out of reach as it is!!

What does your husband say about it? Given it’s his parents

Getting older are they? Lining you up nicely. This would massively tarnish my opinion of them and I'd be a bit nervous for their future expectations.
Stay well put.

And during the pandemic they shouldn't be visiting anyway, so what's the point of living closer?

I'd love be to live closer to either mine or DHs family, but 4 miles IS close! You don't need to be next door!

You only live up the road so what difference does it make. I wouldn't endure the costs of selling my house just the move a few minutes up the road unless I was upsizing or downsizing. Seems pointless. Does your DH want to do it?

They're setting you up to be their carer in their old age. If you're not prepared to take on that role, don't move any closer to them.

Many thanks everyone for all the comments. I've read them all and glad lots agree with me on 4miles not being far.
I don't think my hubby heard my MIL mention it, or he pretends not to hear ! He is on furlough.
My SIL is single,older than my hubby and I and just doesn't date anyone. I think the bad dide is my SIL wants to be involved in my children's lives too much and doesn't drive ...so MIL plan is about her daughter.
But thanks again. I'd never movewe live by the sea as do they but we have excellent transport links lol

NO

So they want you to spend £10K plus so your SIL can see the kids?

Cheaper for her to get driving lessons if that’s what she wants - or a bus pass!

Every time it's mentioned say 'we do live close! A few miles is nothing, look at my friend whose family moved to Australia and they only see one another in person every 3 years!' Keep mentioning people who moved to far flung places but actually it was great and brought them closer together because of all the quality conversations on Zoom.

Ha just say nah we're ok , anyway we are thinking of emigrating soon and watch their faces !

Fuck that!

Hell NO!

It sounds like you already live too close 🙈

I would up sticks and move 100 miles in the opposite direction just to make the point.

Where do YOUR parents live, OP? My MIL moved to be close to her parents and has previously given off hints that she thinks everyone (i.e. we!) should do this. She doesn't seem to have realised that in our case this would mean us moving 100 miles further away from her, because of course the equivalent for us would be to move near to MY parents

Move for better schools, more room, bigger garden, safer neighbourhood... move for any reason that gives your family and children a better quality of life. Don’t move so that your middle aged SIL can play at being a grown up when she can’t even be arsed to cycle 4 miles.

Fuck that.my sil and bil live on the same street as dh grandparents god knows why

No, she doesn't get to decide where you live!

@PanamaPattie

I would up sticks and move 100 miles in the opposite direction just to make the point.

This, with bells on. I’d be moving as far away as possible. Batshit.

I think 4 miles is within walking distance.
I think it is time to move a few hundred miles away.

I suspect this is your in laws attempt to provide sil with a social life.
Sil needs to get a life of her own rather than relying on her parents getting her brothers family to provide her with life long entertainment and eventually care.