We haven't got along for a while anyway as I had years of his abusive behaviour, and checked out emotionally. We have older teens, one left home and I moved into their old room last year.
I don't want to divorce because I worked hard for this home and it is my kids home. However last year I found some suspicious texts on his phone. One "you have the potential to join my life and i love that. Is that for you, if not say so x" and a reply from this woman (J) "in answer to your question, i said that if you had given us a chance of a proper relationship things might have worked out".
At first I thought it quite funny as he likes to string women along. I confronted him though and he said it was more a game than a relationship. He's a liar though and frankly nothing that comes out of his mouth, I believe. Anyway he said he would stop contact and block her. He got a new phone, but like the idiot he is put in his DOB as passcode. So I check it today and there she is under a man's name. No intimate talk but he appears to have been visiting her on the east coast. She sent him the postcode, so I googled it, so I know more or less where she lives.
I don't know whether to be angry or amused. I think I am sad because some other woman is getting the 'nice' side of him, whereas I suffered years of rage and abuse at his hands. He can't cope with stress and his previous job was full of it.
Do I just ignore and keep checking the phone? Confront him again? Have an affair myself?
Leaving isn't an option at the moment, but I am getting the little quackers lined up so to speak.