How do you meet someone without using OLD?

[DoIWantToBeAloneForever]

Just wondering how to meet a new partner without using OLD. I absolutely can't stand OLD. The mundane chit chat, the constant dick pics, answering the same questions. It's draining and honestly doesn't give me a lot of hope of finding someone.

I'm not even sure I want a relationship right now, I just don't want to be alone. And I definitely don't want to be dating multiple people for the sake of it.

I think I'd be happy with a fuck buddy once a week, my life is too full on for constant texting or multiple conversations.

How do you find someone who's company you enjoy without it becoming too intense and over bearing?

The longer I stay single the more I dislike men on a whole. Which is ridiculous I know, but if I don't bite the bullet soon I fear I'll be single forever. Which is sounding better by the day honestly.

Thank you for reading x

Could you do OLD but don't spend ages chatting just use it to arrange to meet someone for a quick coffee etc. Or go to pubs bars cafes wherever is open these days and make conversation.

it's usually the work place or physically being in a bar or club (showing my age 👀) I think its so much harder now .

I'd prefer that physical meet rather than the OLD thing .. but thats just me, my friend met her now husband first night online .. first connection and boom. I was highly suspicious the entire time of course but yip he was the real macoy.

So it does happen 🌺

There was a post about exactly this a few weeks ago. Maybe someone will have a link to it. x

I feel the same about OLD and have the same problem about where do you meet someone. I want to go out out but my friends are all coupled up so don't want to do that sort of thing anymore.

is this the future ?

I hope not.. I have teens coming into adult hood and I worry about this.

I miss the 80's the discos the aerobics classes the fun the mixing.. all gone 🥺

Of my friends that didn't couple up strategy after uni etc. It's been sport / work / hobby /church etc. Four years ago "d"p of 18 years dumped me unceremoniously and he has since met someoneusing online dating. For various reasons dating hasn't really been my priority but I also dread the thought of old. Exdp and I met at uni! The classic get pissed wake up together go from there scenario. That doesnt really work when you're in your forties with two kids, a chronic illness and you've quit drinking.

I'd love nothing more than to go out 'on the pull' as it were. Although I doubt Covid would allow that for a while. That's where I met my ex and we were together 7 years. I think meeting someone out and about adds to the excitement.

I find OLD bland and repetitive. I'd love to meet someone and have a connection but everyone says the same things online. I find it's always straight to the sex talk as well, which is draining.

That's what puts me off instantly. The first message is 'so what's your favourite position'. If they took me out first they might find out, but it makes me cringe when they ask.

I think it's really sad that so many students use OLD. I just remember how many people I met at university - there's such a huge group of people the same age.

My DP and I met at our local pub a few years ago when we were both out with friends. It's a small, quiet town pub so not overly busy so everyone just ends up kind of mingling with everyone.

My friend met her partner at the gym and I have a few couple friends who met through work.

I agree about online dating, it just seems so impersonal to me! I much prefer meeting someone and having that connection in person

I was like you when I was online dating. I was getting too many messages from the wrong type of man and the ones that I thought were going somewhere always went wrong and fizzled out. I had a break from it for a few weeks, was getting less messages as I wasn't showing as active, decided to go back on and received message from my future husband.

Aldi

I met my DP when a mutual friend set us up together. I'd done a lot of OLD since splitting with my exH, met a lot of people and had a lot of fun, made some friends, but never met anyone really special. Then I went out with a man from work for a while, which was very much a casual thing but was exactly what I needed at that point. After that ended, I met DP, and we'll have our 3 year anniversary in July.

I don't think there's anything wrong with dating within your workplace, as long as you are the type who can keep your head if the relationship goes pear-shaped. Also helps if there are men in your workplace - it can be tricky if you are a straight female primary teacher!

Don't any of your coupled-up friends have single male relatives or friends?

@funnylittlefloozie unfortunately they don't. I think maybe it will happen naturally when it's supposed to. Sometimes I just like a bit of male attention. Must be an ego thing cause I get bored after a bit.

Whoever said Aldi, I'll have to try there. I'll get my best clothes on for the weekly shop. You just never know I guess.

I'm the same. Single three and a but years now, with lockdown, time is just cracking on.

OLD isnt for me. I cant be arsed with the ghosting, the dick pics, etc etc. To be fair, I havent given it a try, but from the threads on here sounds like something you need a thick skin for.

I'd rather meet someone in real life, I must be a bit old fashioned like that.

I'd like to meet someone, but I've kind of resigned to not to 🤷‍♀️

If you just want a shag then fab swingers is a good bet. However you need a REALLY thick skin for that. You’ll get loads and loads of attention but as it’s a sex hookup site it’s all very much one dimensional. However I met a few guys who were good for a chat as well as a shag and one who became a relationship. The relationship has ended but we are still friends. I think I’m going to give OLD a go next as I want something with a bit more depth but I wouldn’t rule out Fab if I needed a no strings night!

Get a dog.

I met my current partner when out walking my dog 4 months ago.

Folk would stop me in a park a handful of times each day and chat about dog is an easy starting point.

I agree with LionelMessy. A dog is an ice-breaker. I would rather put a hot poker in my eyes than do OLD. I know no-one who has any long-term success with that. Lots of horror stories. I met my current man through a charity I help to run. We weren't looking, and it took a while to reveal a mutual attraction. Previously I met my ex-H at a nightclub years ago, my ex-BF at a workplace, and another ex-BF at a training course. I think once lockdown lifts, there will be more community based opportunities.

As COVID lifts, you need to be out and about doing things that mean you meet people. Do things you enjoy.
What hobbies do you have ?
What volunteering do you do ?
What interests do you have ?
Where do you go other than work and then home again ?

You even say I'm not even sure I want a relationship right now, I just don't want to be alone , so put that into action and join something, or start attending something where other people go and get to know each other.
The more friends you interact with, the more likely you are to 'bond' with someone. You are also more likely to get invited to parties or BBQs etc with your new friends, and therefore the social circle expands all the more - sibling of friend or neighbour of friend or friend of friend type meetings.

Well I met a few really nice guys OLD, had a few short relationships, made 2 friends that I'm still in touch with and met my amazing bf who I wouldn't have met otherwise. He is by far the best match of my life. I met all my exes through school, uni, friends, work, bar and they weren't as good a match as my bf is.

I think just keep your standards really high. That means you have a smaller pool but of a higher quality and if you're like me, it is better to be single than with the wrong bloke so there is no rush.

Fab swingers is definitely a good option for fuck buddies and similar. I actually made friends there. I was also fed up of online dating post a recent breakup and just decided to focus on looking better day to day. Use online dating as a side option as can be decent when you get a click.

I completely agree with @Eesha.

I've been with someone now for over two years. We met on Fab, which I was using the same way as Eesha. Wasn't expecting to find a relationship there 😂

In my day-to-day life, I'm commuting/at work 12 hours a day. It's not possible to meet men through my work. My hobbies tend to be pretty female heavy, I have a disabled family member I see regularly. I don't drink (alcoholic exh) so don't like spending time in bars and pubs. I'm not a dog person. I really thought I wasn't going to meet anyone! Before I my my DP I was with someone for 18 months who I met on POF. I agree with a PP, keep your standards high and OLD is fine.

Currently with Covid, there are not a lot of options for meeting new people. Are there any hobbies you could get involved with that have an online presence e.g. a book club or some kind of community group with online forums you could post on?

Outside of Covid, speed dating is an option - my friend met her husband doing that and they are now expecting a baby! :)

I met my partner through a mutual hobby that we are both involved in. After lockdown is lifted, just get out there and explore any interests you have - creative, sports etc - and you can meet people naturally that way.

Ironically after I posted last night, I reactivated my Tinder profile out of curiosity (it's been hidden for 6 weeks after a rather difficult time when I met a guy I really liked, who liked me but he wasn't ready and we agreed to go off and sort ourselves out. It is a very long complicated story). I matched with a guy virtually straight away and he messaged me, we chatted a bit but the inevitable sex talk started and it was predictable as always (that and his use of text speak, ur for your etc. annoyed me). Still chatting but I honestly can't see it going anywhere.

The classic get pissed wake up together go from there scenario. That doesnt really work when you're in your forties with two kids, a chronic illness and you've quit drinking

Gosh that rang a bell!

I've not found anyone to date, have as fuck buddy our even start a new relationship with. But do have company because I joined a couple of sports clubs. You need to be out, doing something you enjoy, with other people

Love that Aldi one!