How do you meet someone without using OLD?

[DoIWantToBeAloneForever]

Just wondering how to meet a new partner without using OLD. I absolutely can't stand OLD. The mundane chit chat, the constant dick pics, answering the same questions. It's draining and honestly doesn't give me a lot of hope of finding someone.

I'm not even sure I want a relationship right now, I just don't want to be alone. And I definitely don't want to be dating multiple people for the sake of it.

I think I'd be happy with a fuck buddy once a week, my life is too full on for constant texting or multiple conversations.

How do you find someone who's company you enjoy without it becoming too intense and over bearing?

The longer I stay single the more I dislike men on a whole. Which is ridiculous I know, but if I don't bite the bullet soon I fear I'll be single forever. Which is sounding better by the day honestly.

Thank you for reading x

Does anyone think there's a business opening for an "Online Dating Recruitment Consultant"... someone who'd pretend to be you, soak up all the dick pics and rudeness, and start promising conversations, then pass to you only the best candidates?

I actually love that it isn't normal to chat people up in bars anymore. The assumption was always that if you are out, then you must be single and looking for someone. And when you reject a man's advances for whatever reason, they often would become quite nasty or aggressive. I remember when I first turned 18 you couldn't stand at a bar without getting your arse grabbed.

Chatting up at a bar isn't the done thing anymore which is amazing! As a young woman, you can enjoy your night with your friends without the expectation of being harassed by men. I think OLD is better, because you all know what you are there for.

@Whitegrapewine

Does anyone think there's a business opening for an "Online Dating Recruitment Consultant"... someone who'd pretend to be you, soak up all the dick pics and rudeness, and start promising conversations, then pass to you only the best candidates?

This sounds like a great idea, but who would want to do that job. They pay would have to be decent to even contemplate it 😂

OLD is a good idea in theory, but unfortunately it goes awry in practice. I honestly believe there is no substitute for meeting someone spontaneously and out of the blue, in real life. Unfortunately there aren't many opportunities for that currently with this damn shitty pandemic, but you just have to be optimistic for better times.

I met my partner online

It's very draining and demoralising but I got there in the end. We would never have met in real life. Our oaths would not have crossed

Maybe , after covid, there will be a demand for singles meet up events?

@Whitegrapewine

Does anyone think there's a business opening for an "Online Dating Recruitment Consultant"... someone who'd pretend to be you, soak up all the dick pics and rudeness, and start promising conversations, then pass to you only the best candidates?

Yes! I think I'd be good at this job

How are you getting all these dick pics? I've been online dating for about six months and haven't had one. Not that I want one!

Another here who doesn't get dick pics 🤣

I don't know the answer but I'm losing the will to love with OLD and hardly bother anymore. I'm at aldi everyday too and no luck there.

@Whitegrapewine

Does anyone think there's a business opening for an "Online Dating Recruitment Consultant"... someone who'd pretend to be you, soak up all the dick pics and rudeness, and start promising conversations, then pass to you only the best candidates?

I would pay for that!!!

@TheWaif

How are you getting all these dick pics? I've been online dating for about six months and haven't had one. Not that I want one!

I’m the same actually, dick pics are fairly rare in my experience, actually the only one i got for ages was after I said that i’d not been spammed with them. I also said how that was a good thing, yet fella in question took it as an invite - WTF?! Actually said ‘here you go now you’ve got a dick pic’. I despair.

What is harder for me is the sex talk, it’s like they think the minute you’re into conversation and you are interested in getting to know them that’s a green light to start it up. I am sick of explaining to men online that yes i like sex, but no i do not want to muse about having sex with a fucking stranger i’ve not even met in person!

Also it pisses me off that it feels like so many men decide they want to fuck you or have sexting etc based on a small amount of conversation. It doesn’t make me feel confident these men want an actual connection with a woman - just to get off.

I want a man who is discerning about who he sleeps with! Not oh look it’s female and has shown an interest so i’m good to go. Where are their standards???

Ok that’s my OLD rants done for today!

In my opinion, OLD just brings out the worst in a lot of men. That, and unlimited access to disturbing pornography which they somehow believe is translatable to real life.

The assumption was always that if you are out, then you must be single and looking for someone. And when you reject a man's advances for whatever reason, they often would become quite nasty or aggressive. I remember when I first turned 18 you couldn't stand at a bar without getting your arse grabbed.

I don't know which decade you turned 18, or which bars you frequented, but you had a very different experience from me.

If you want a “fuck buddy” as you call it online dating should be quite easy no? My understanding is a lot of men are looking for exactly that online. Just put on your profile that you are not looking for anything serious.

I'll third the recommendation of Fabswingers, I already had some FWBs but thought I'd give it a try and met some guys, one of which somehow became a relationship and we're 19 months in.
A relationship was the last thing on my mind, the first thing was sex😍

"@SortingItOut I'll third the recommendation of Fabswingers, I already had some FWBs but thought I'd give it a try and met some guys, one of which somehow became a relationship and we're 19 months in.
A relationship was the last thing on my mind, the first thing was sex😍"

That is really sad and not a means upon which i would want to meet or wish to build a relationship with someone.

I bet he is real catch with own home and career to match yours .

[quote KensingtonKate]"@SortingItOut I'll third the recommendation of Fabswingers, I already had some FWBs but thought I'd give it a try and met some guys, one of which somehow became a relationship and we're 19 months in.
A relationship was the last thing on my mind, the first thing was sex😍"

That is really sad and not a means upon which i would want to meet or wish to build a relationship with someone.

I bet he is real catch with own home and career to match yours . [/quote]
What?!

@TheWaif Fab swingers and "friends with benefits " met on line, not what OP Is looking for". OP has specifically said no OLD.

@KensingtonKate He does actually, we are matched in terms of finances.
Don't judge just because you don't know about it.

@BatshitCrazyWoman will agree with that the majority of men on there are normal, nice people.

"He does actually, we are matched in terms of finances."

@SortingItOut Great. I hope you both protect yr independent assets.

@KensingtonKate No plans to live together or merge finances as we both don't want to as we've both been married before.

@SortingItOut same here. I am keeping my hard earned property to myself.

Wishing you well with your own home .

Hope OP finds what she is looking for.

I refuse to do OLD. When pubs and club reopen properly I'm heading out on the pull with my single friends. We're in our 40s but I refuse to age gracefully!!

@KensingtonKate I think relationships in later life have a different dynamic than when you're younger and for lots of people of my age (40) living together isn't important.

I wish more women protected themselves in relationships, I managed to keep my pensions in my divorce and they will be worth more than anything when I retire - I'm not putting them at risk again.

I’m another that likes fabswingers for no strings sex, I don’t have any free time/weekends off anymore unless the kids stay at my parents. So don’t really use it that much these days. Good for people with free time not wanting relationships.