DH suffering from Anxiety/Headaches – Don’t know how to help anymore

[plantgirl4]

Sorry this is long, hope it's ok to post here.

DH is diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder and depression & has suffered since his late teens – he’s now 41. He also has daily tension headaches (everyday!) – Dr has been seen about this, he’s had an MRI scan which was all clear, had his eyes tested etc. After some online research I suggested Amitriptyline to the Dr for which he was prescribed but these didn’t help either. He’s tried Syndol, Ibuprofen etc but nothing touches the headaches. He was prescribed Diazophram for flying and I think they did help, but obviously that’s not a sensible or permanent solution.

He suffers so bad with the headaches that he often can’t sleep. This also results in him self-medicating with alcohol, as it’s the only time he gets some relief from the pain :( but as we all know… alcohol is a depressant so this just leaves him feeling worse for days afterwards & usually results in huge arguments between us.

He had been on Citalopram for the past 2 or so years (he’s been on it previously as well in the past for years which helped his Anxiety) but decided it wasn’t doing anything for him anymore, apart from helping him with some night terrors, so he’s decided to gradually take himself off it.

Along with this he also has ongoing issues with his digestion & just feels really crappy in general every day. This isn’t helped with him having a manual labour job which makes him feel worse. His self-esteem is rock bottom too which I truly believe would be improved if he didn’t feel so bad all the time.

On top of all this I’m currently 6 months pregnant.. I just want him to be feeling ok, especially with a baby on the way. He’s the loveliest, kindest man. I just want to see him happy and not in pain anymore. I feel so useless.

Has anyone been through something similar? I’m wondering if it’s all related to his diet, but there’s no proven research on that. I’ve looked at going private and seeing a headache specialist – I think if the headaches went then his Anxiety wouldn’t be so bad, but this is very expensive and he doesn’t want any money to be spent on him as he says it will just make his anxiety worse. Also I’m guessing a Dr will just try him with various other medications too which usually make you feel worse rather than better. I’ve also been looking at Chiropractors/Osteopaths as maybe it’s related to his neck/back… help :(

Yoga pilates, acupuncture and meditation have all helped me.

Have you considered he might be autistic (ASD) ? Eating issues, gastrointestinal problems, depression, anxiety, sleep problems, headaches can all be related.
Are you in the UK? Aspect Autism are providing free of charge 30 min consultations via Zoom you can discuss anything mental health related and get some advice. See if anything fits.
www.aspectautism.com/

www.autismspeaks.org/medical-conditions-associated-autism

@Neonprint The op said he’s beginning to reduce it as it doesn’t suit him. He will likely feel awful while he reduces and when he comes off it. I’m also on antidepressants and reducing off very slowly as they actually made me feel a lot worse ( lots of side effects like night terrors similar to her dh, I also had the worst headaches of my life) it doesn’t suit everyone to take them. Sorry it just doesn’t. I wish I’d never taken anything. It’s great for some people of course and I’m definitely not advocating anyone drops their antidepressants!
I also took a lot of sleep aids, you get from chemists etc I found they made me feel hungover and drowsy. The only thing I’ve remained on is a tiny dose of melatonin.
I was throwing everything into my body to sleep and relax and I really believe when I’ve started to step away from those I’m now a lot less anxious and in a lot less pain. I’m definitely not new age , fat from it! I’m happy to pill pop. I just think all these things together have side effects, or aren’t meant to be taken together and cause more harm then good. For one , ops dh shouldn’t be drinking on antidepressants. All a vicious cycle happening here I think.

Research Neurologists or better still neuro-otologist's in your area and get a referral or if you can pay to see one privately - preferably someone who specialises in chronic migraine. Sumitriptan is a good abortive but can't be taken everyday (can cause rebound headches), with daily headaches you need a preventative/prophylatic. Usual "starter" meds are propananlol, pizotifen or amitriptyline/noritryptiline. I know you said the Ami didn't work but it can take up to three months for some meds to start helping and you need to build up to the right therapeutic dose for you (abortives like naproxen, triptans can be taken until the preventatives kick in) this is why it's so important to have a specialist treating you who understands this and can explain.

You could also try a migraine diet - the 6c's is the easiest. Dropping caffeine and alcohol should help a bit, as does having a really strict sleep time/wake up time.

Some really good responses here OP. Hope your DP is sorted soon.

Does he wear glasses/need an eye test?

I know that I suffer badly from headaches when I wear my 'wrong' glasses with a slightly wonky prescription. Maybe something to check out alongside all the other things.

Hi look up Vagus Nerve exercises on you tube.
It a nerve that runs down behind our ear right through the body.
Did he have a difficult childhood.
When did they start.