DH suffering from Anxiety/Headaches – Don’t know how to help anymore

[plantgirl4]

Sorry this is long, hope it's ok to post here.

DH is diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder and depression & has suffered since his late teens – he’s now 41. He also has daily tension headaches (everyday!) – Dr has been seen about this, he’s had an MRI scan which was all clear, had his eyes tested etc. After some online research I suggested Amitriptyline to the Dr for which he was prescribed but these didn’t help either. He’s tried Syndol, Ibuprofen etc but nothing touches the headaches. He was prescribed Diazophram for flying and I think they did help, but obviously that’s not a sensible or permanent solution.

He suffers so bad with the headaches that he often can’t sleep. This also results in him self-medicating with alcohol, as it’s the only time he gets some relief from the pain :( but as we all know… alcohol is a depressant so this just leaves him feeling worse for days afterwards & usually results in huge arguments between us.

He had been on Citalopram for the past 2 or so years (he’s been on it previously as well in the past for years which helped his Anxiety) but decided it wasn’t doing anything for him anymore, apart from helping him with some night terrors, so he’s decided to gradually take himself off it.

Along with this he also has ongoing issues with his digestion & just feels really crappy in general every day. This isn’t helped with him having a manual labour job which makes him feel worse. His self-esteem is rock bottom too which I truly believe would be improved if he didn’t feel so bad all the time.

On top of all this I’m currently 6 months pregnant.. I just want him to be feeling ok, especially with a baby on the way. He’s the loveliest, kindest man. I just want to see him happy and not in pain anymore. I feel so useless.

Has anyone been through something similar? I’m wondering if it’s all related to his diet, but there’s no proven research on that. I’ve looked at going private and seeing a headache specialist – I think if the headaches went then his Anxiety wouldn’t be so bad, but this is very expensive and he doesn’t want any money to be spent on him as he says it will just make his anxiety worse. Also I’m guessing a Dr will just try him with various other medications too which usually make you feel worse rather than better. I’ve also been looking at Chiropractors/Osteopaths as maybe it’s related to his neck/back… help :(

[quote plantgirl4]@NeverDropYourMoonCup
He doesn’t drink everyday. He just drinks at the weekend on a Friday and Saturday usually.[/quote]
I hope you're right. But he sounds exactly like the alcoholic ex. Constant headache, every day. Constant tummy troubles. Constant anxiety. Constant self pity low self esteem. Constant 'antidepressants do nothing' (because he knew taking them would be dangerous whilst drinking and he wasn't going to stop that). And most of all, constant hidden drinking.

I agree with the poster that said get him referred to a neurologist.

Living with a headache every waking hour will drive a person to depression and anxiety. Those who have never had chronic pain 24/7 can’t understand how much it wears you down mentally.

If the headaches can be resolved, then his depression will improve. Be open about trying different medications. There is nothing wrong with trying a dozen one by one under care of a neurologist. They have many options they can try.

@LittlestBoho
I’m vegetarian so he eats a veggie diet when at home with me... plenty of veg and meat substitutes. He only eats meat when we go out for a meal or on his lunches

Thanks for the suggestions :)

I’ve just ordered a Coeliac test online for him and I’m definitely going to get him another dr appointment and push for a neurologist referral or just go private.

Thanks everyone, I thought I would get no responses but you’ve all been so helpful!

I have migraine from tension headache and had to cut out trigger foods for migraine like alcohol and caffeine as well as go to a physio who has experience in treating headache issues. It’s helped immensely. Physio also gave some exercises to do during the day to break the tension cycle. Life changing. I still get horrific migraines once in a blue moon - swiftly treated by Imigran (sumo triptan inhaler)

I suffered with tension headaches every day until I had Botox on my frown lines! The headaches completely went. Having Botox has been a life changer!
Still get a migraine a couple of times a Year mind you.

Chiro and osteopath treatments help my anxiety, sinus pain, brain fog & clumsiness etc.
I'd really recommend a try (cranial etc treatments). I'd do it every week if I could afford it. Also sends endorphine levels through the roof, so great for depression (I don't believe in woo, I'm a mental health prof, but the evidence has been undoubtable).

I was on citalopram for years. I'm taking another medication now as it has an increasingly worse effect on my stomach. SSRIs are know for effecting your stomach. Seratonin has a function in your stomach. I can't remember the details but that's why they have an effect. So maybe look into that.

I was thinking the headaches could be a side effect of the citalopram. But if he's had them while off the meds then maybe not. I was recently diagnose with bruxism (teeth grinding) I get terrible heacahes from that. Could he be doing that in his sleep if he's anxious.

He probably needs a complete detox of all the meds, alcohol everything. His body is likely overloaded with everything he’s putting in. I used to drink to help with pain/sleep , the best thing I did was stop drinking. He won’t be getting quality sleep when he drinks which will set him up for a bad work week. Acupuncture might also be useful

@Hemsworthsbicep

He probably needs a complete detox of all the meds, alcohol everything. His body is likely overloaded with everything he’s putting in. I used to drink to help with pain/sleep , the best thing I did was stop drinking. He won’t be getting quality sleep when he drinks which will set him up for a bad work week. Acupuncture might also be useful

Sorry this sounds like utter new age crap. Please don't suggest somone comes off mental health medication to 'detox'

Would you suggest somone comes off their diabetes meds or heat meds to detox?

How utterly offensive. It's as if people think mental health is just a made up health issue. Ffs.

I have private messaged you.

Regards

OP, can I just ask how you ordered a coeliac test online, is it a private GP blood test? The test for coeliac requires a full blood test, not something you can order online or do at home.

If he grinds his teeth I think that will definitely cause him to wake up with a headache. I mentioned migraines to my dentist and she was adamant that so many people have them due to teeth issues, suggest a gym shield for night time. Has he been to the dentist? Otherwise I am not an expert but have suffered with migraines for years and recommend propranolol as a preventative measure (needs to be a decent dose) and sumitriptan at first sign of an attack. I also thing 4head can help a bit with pain, bananas are supposed to be good and I have found some relief from eating them. I think it’s the potassium possibly? Also I have found a hot bath helps as I believe it draws the blood away from the head (sit in it rather than lying down as then head is cool but rest of body becomes hotter). That has taken the pounding sensation away from my headaches a lot of times and has made me actually be able to function again. I really sympathise as migraines are just the worst thing. I also have Crohn’s disease, noticed a few pps mention gut issues!

Neurologist and rheumatologist?

Was there ever a time he didn''t have the headaches?

I've had botox for teeth grinding. So far so good but I know I'm not meant to do it long term. I gather you can have it for headaches too.

I also think potassium from bananas helps, and magnesium supplements help me too. Lots of people that suffer with headaches turn out to have a magnesium deficiency.

Generally I feel that if your gut is wonky, your head hurts all the time and you feel shitty then it’s time to sort your life out. Find some medication that works, eat healthy and take supplements where you need them. It’s not an instant solution and more of a journey, but the benefits are worth it.

Oh I read that back and now I sound hippy drippy, but I just mean that it’s a overall lifestyle thing, not a single solution.

Adding into what someone said above, I had a head injury many years ago and was put onto some fairly heavy duty medication. I then ended up getting even worse rebound headaches than the ones I was originally being treated for. When I saw a locum GP at our surgery, she was horrified and immediately told me to come off any medication apart from the one I take for my blood pressure. Within days, I was completely headache free. And most importantly, felt a million times better.

I'd bounce some ideas off your GP together - with some meds for depression you obviously can't go cold turkey but the amount of medication he's taking/tried sounds unusual for someone with no diagnosis. And I mean this in a kind way, he sounds very draining. I noticed you said you are pregnant - remember to take care of yourself too, and not just him.

I can't see that you've elaborated on what "digestive issues" means but has he been properly investigated to rule out inflammatory bowel disease (e.g. Crohn's, ulcerative colitis)? As in colonoscopy?

If his symptoms are continuing they should have been fully investigated to rule out all the diagnosable disorders. That can only be done with colonoscopy.

IBD can cause anxiety/depression as well as being worsened by them.

Also if his gut problems are causing malnutrition because his body is not able to properly absorb/process what he's eating (regardless of how balanced his intake may have been) that can cause nasty headaches.

Not sleeping properly and being tired can cause headaches.

Maybe massage his neck and shoulders to see if it releases tension?

I can't drink squash due to the flavourings and additives. Especially fake orange. His diet could be triggering the headaches.

Dehydration caused by chronic diarrhoea (if that's what you mean by digestive issues) would cause headaches that'd be unresponsive to meds too.

So that's about his potassium and sodium levels too not just his water intake.

Malnutrition and dehydration headaches can be horrendous.

But he really needs proper investigation and diagnosis of the underlying health issues, not just random tinkering and working his way through the aisles of Holland & Barrett. It's gone on long enough.

My brother suffers from severe cluster headaches and was prescribed home oxygen which helps him no end.

I get tension headaches quite a lot and nothing touches them.

It might sound trite, but has he tried stuff like yoga, meditation, just general mindfulness? It sounds like he’s got himself into a vicious cycle where nothing is ever getting resolved.

You’re having a baby soon, he can’t continue to self-medicate with alcohol. But if he signs himself up for yoga classes he might find it helps.

Ok, some really good suggestions on here. I may add he might want to maintain a food/symptoms diary over 3 weeks to establish if there are any particular triggers. I have been told acupuncture has been helpful for many people as well as the migraine related meds. Good posture is important as poor posture can impact on nerves and cause headaches. The jaw clenching grinding suggestion was helpful and may be applicable.

Look after yourself, OP. It's he taking much responsibility for his own health? Rest up and get as organised as you can now with freezer meals and that kind of thing because I can't see him being much help when the baby arrives.

He has to want to get better.

yes definately see chiro or cranial oesto. if he is anxious he could also be clenching his teeth and jaw which will create pain. Dr should have suggested chiro before he suggested meds. Acunpucture a good option too.