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Original poster

What would you do??

47 replies

Oscarbin · 29/04/2021 21:46

Been seeing someone about 6 months. Was really good at first, lot of contact texting etc.
Now it seems to have got a bit quiet. So tonight he text about 7 and I asked about seeing each other tomorrow, which he said was fine. Then nothing.
Now he is quiet, but he will just go off and not be in contact for ages, usually when he goes and sees his mates. Which I don't mind but it's like I'm hanging on all the time.
Maybe it's just me, but it makes me feel awful, like he's being ignorant.
I don't even know why I'm writing this and maybe he has things going on but he doesn't talk about anything.
Maybe I have it bad. I just don't know.

OP posts:
RachelRaven · 29/04/2021 21:47

You've arrange a fate for tomorrow, yes? I dont see the issue. Youre seeing him tomorrow

PinkCookie11 · 29/04/2021 21:48

Are you official?
How long in ages when not in contact? Days?
I get not texting the whole time when your seeing mates etc.
Have you mentioned it to him?

RachelRaven · 29/04/2021 21:48

he doesn't talk about anything
Unless you mean this is generally, and not just on text. If he is boring you, end it.

Alex908 · 29/04/2021 21:50

End it now, this is supposed to be the fun bit. If he can’t be arsed now save yourself a world of pain further along.

Bluntness100 · 29/04/2021 21:52

But you are hanging on all the time, that’s why you feel like that. Do you not have your own friends or stuff to do?

MrsMaizel · 29/04/2021 21:52

@RachelRaven

You've arrange a fate for tomorrow, yes? I dont see the issue. Youre seeing him tomorrow
This . What's the problem ?
Original poster
Oscarbin · 29/04/2021 21:54

I think I bore him, he seems to like his mates more than me.
He's like the quiet man and won't tell me if he goes anywhere, he would just not answer and tell me in the morning, which I am not bothered about but just a text to say he's fine would be nice.

OP posts:
DinosaurDiana · 29/04/2021 21:55

If you don’t feel comfortable in your relationship it’s probably time to move on.

Original poster
Oscarbin · 29/04/2021 21:56

@Bluntness100

But you are hanging on all the time, that’s why you feel like that. Do you not have your own friends or stuff to do?
Two kids and a full time job, so I don't get to do much I'm afraid,
OP posts:
sunnyzweibrucken · 29/04/2021 21:57

if he regularly goes off and you dont hear from him for ages i would think he's just not that interested in you. i wouldn't worry about not hearing from him now when you have a date set up for tomorrow. but going silent on a regular basis until he feels like chatting wouldnt work for me.

Original poster
Oscarbin · 29/04/2021 21:59

I actually think I've turned needy in my old age 🤣😂

OP posts:
MrsMaizel · 29/04/2021 22:00

@Oscarbin

I think I bore him, he seems to like his mates more than me. He's like the quiet man and won't tell me if he goes anywhere, he would just not answer and tell me in the morning, which I am not bothered about but just a text to say he's fine would be nice.
You are sounding like the kind of women who my son said he avoided in early days on dating - they want your presence 24 hours a day and texting all the time . Lighten up for goodness sake !
Original poster
Oscarbin · 29/04/2021 22:01

@sunnyzweibrucken

if he regularly goes off and you dont hear from him for ages i would think he's just not that interested in you. i wouldn't worry about not hearing from him now when you have a date set up for tomorrow. but going silent on a regular basis until he feels like chatting wouldnt work for me.
It's probably me
OP posts:
Original poster
Oscarbin · 29/04/2021 22:07

Sounds like it could be me to be fair. I have had a lot on at the moment

OP posts:
Original poster
Oscarbin · 29/04/2021 22:16

@sunnyzweibrucken

if he regularly goes off and you dont hear from him for ages i would think he's just not that interested in you. i wouldn't worry about not hearing from him now when you have a date set up for tomorrow. but going silent on a regular basis until he feels like chatting wouldnt work for me.
Yeah I know. The last response was "yeah if it's good for you" But it's like it just all stops. I worry quite a bit. I do trust him on the women front but I just like everyone to be safe.
OP posts:
Original poster
Oscarbin · 29/04/2021 22:33

@Alex908

End it now, this is supposed to be the fun bit. If he can’t be arsed now save yourself a world of pain further along.
It's probably just me overthinking
OP posts:
Imjustsootired · 29/04/2021 22:36

It could be you.

Or, are you picking up on "cant be arsed" vibes?

.... "yeah if good for you" doesnt sound like he is particularly excited if I'm honest

Original poster
Oscarbin · 29/04/2021 22:37

@Imjustsootired

It could be you.

Or, are you picking up on "cant be arsed" vibes?

.... "yeah if good for you" doesnt sound like he is particularly excited if I'm honest

Yeah but he's always been like that. He doesn't give much away and maybe that is why I am struggling.
OP posts:
Cockenspiel · 29/04/2021 22:41

Tbh it sounds like you’re ‘settling’ for his crumbs and he’s not that into you, but you’re rubbing along for now..

Original poster
Oscarbin · 29/04/2021 22:44

@Cockenspiel

Tbh it sounds like you’re ‘settling’ for his crumbs and he’s not that into you, but you’re rubbing along for now..
I asked him last week if he wanted to end it or if he had doubts, basically gave him a get out of jail card, and he said sorry and that he was tired "he has had a lot of work on" that he did care.
OP posts:
Original poster
Oscarbin · 29/04/2021 22:52

I should be feeling on top of the world, I have a new car a new job, lovely kids and I feel like the most loneliest person on the planet.
I'm scared of looking stupid if it did go all "wrong".

OP posts:
LemonTT · 29/04/2021 22:53

I would either accept the person I want to be with as they are or find some one who is.

The reality is that you are not into him. You don’t like his behaviour. But that is him. Accept it or move on. There is only so much anyone can change about themselves. I don’t think I would be doing that much for someone I had been dating for 6 months. Or at all.

Original poster
Oscarbin · 29/04/2021 22:55

@LemonTT

I would either accept the person I want to be with as they are or find some one who is.

The reality is that you are not into him. You don’t like his behaviour. But that is him. Accept it or move on. There is only so much anyone can change about themselves. I don’t think I would be doing that much for someone I had been dating for 6 months. Or at all.

Yeah I see your point. Thank you.
OP posts:
Dogfan · 30/04/2021 12:44

This is a red flag for me. If he isn't giving you what you need you should say so and if he doesn't change his behaviour you should be prepared to leave. The frequency of messages aside it sounds like he struggles to communicate - another red flag.

litterbird · 30/04/2021 12:53

This isn't the relationship for you. It is giving you anxiety. I would quietly exit this and move on to find someone who actually gives a sh*t!

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