What would you do??

[Oscarbin]

Been seeing someone about 6 months. Was really good at first, lot of contact texting etc.
Now it seems to have got a bit quiet. So tonight he text about 7 and I asked about seeing each other tomorrow, which he said was fine. Then nothing.
Now he is quiet, but he will just go off and not be in contact for ages, usually when he goes and sees his mates. Which I don't mind but it's like I'm hanging on all the time.
Maybe it's just me, but it makes me feel awful, like he's being ignorant.
I don't even know why I'm writing this and maybe he has things going on but he doesn't talk about anything.
Maybe I have it bad. I just don't know.

It is arrogant and rude and disrespectful of your time - you are a busy working mum - a friend/family member would make solid arrangements with you. That would make me so anxious - do you have to arrange babysitters/childcare as well ?

If a partner makes your life better stay with them, if they make it worse split up. Doesn't have to be nasty just honest.

This is meant to be the fun carefree stage the anticipation of dates , texts , spontaneity you seem really anxious op I think this is a non starter the longer you spend waiting for dropped crumbs the lower your self esteem will go . End it focus on your positives in life and dont settle for crumbs from half ass frogs , take care xxx

It’s not going to work out so ditch him.

How was the date?

You've arrange a fate for tomorrow, yes?

Love this!

sorry, not helpful I know.

Why are you hanging about waiting for him, don't you have any friends or anything else to do?
It's not healthy hanging on the end of a phone waiting for someone you have known for only a few months to contact you.
But looking at this you've been dating for 6 months, you either have to take charge of this relationship because he isn't or walk away and start looking for someone else.
It doesn't look like he is able to give you what you want.

Well we had the chat and he was oblivious he was doing anything wrong, he thinks by telling me he is seeing his mates will end up in confrontation. Which it wouldn't. (Had a bad ex)
So if we are both busy we will let each other know! I also got a nice meal out of it too!
I am stressed with hospital appointments and things so a lot has accumulated.
Thank you so much for replies.

Got ignored again last night. Opened my messages and just ignored me, after a lovely night previously. Back to square one.

@Oscarbin....not sure what its going to take to step away from this uneventful relationship. Please work on your self esteem and value. This is not the person for you. Dont waste anymore of your time looking at your phone to see if he has read your messages. It will only give you more anxiety. Stop and move on.

Yes I'm going to do that today. I feel bloody awful, and sick.

He doesn’t sound very keen. I would leave it now.

Back to square one again. Sick of worrying like I have done something wrong.

@Oscarbin I’m sorry you are feeling this way. We sound very similar. I go through the same emotions, constant anxiety and wondering if I have done something wrong. My bf is oblivious. The only advice I have is try to stay busy, play music, dance anything but looking at your phone. It is so so hard as I do this too. I’m trying my best not to overthink what things mean or what I have done wrong. You haven’t done anything wrong and keep believing that. Sending hugs

Thank you so much! He text saying he was asleep but he opened it, got a picture of him looking rough too.

I honestly think I am needy or highly anxious! Christ I need to sort myself out

@Oscarbin There is nothing wrong with you and please stop saying you are needy.
You are not needy but you do have needs that are not being met.

He has made you into an overthinker with his actions, you told him how it made you feel, he agreed to do better and then he didn't- he doesn't care enough to want to change.

Just get rid of him, he can't meet your needs.

If you were important to him you’d know. You wouldn’t need to ask what was going on. If it was me, I’d back off and let him take the lead. You’ll soon know if he puts an effort in

I've done exactly that today! I was asked if I was in a mood 😂🤣

Sounds hard OP. I dont think you've done anything wrong, it's just that you'd like more communication and reassurance than he's wanting to give. He knows you have kids and a full time job, so it's not like you're asking to see him 24/7! Do you have a regular evening(s) that you see him? If not, maybe that would help as you'd know plans in advance.

I feel for you, being with someone who doesn't seem bothered is really anxiety fuelling. I guess only you can decide whether you think he wants you in his future and whether he's worth the effort.

You're obviously getting vibes from him that he can't be bothered. Maybe he's emotionally unavailable?

Whatever it is it's giving you anxiety and you're questioning yourself all the time. This is a red flag in itself, do you see yourself continuing with this? The right person wouldn't make you feel this way..

I maybe just take things to heart all the time. We are fine when we are together. But he's not the best texter so that's when I start to worry.