Birthday

[Fedupat40]

Hi just a quick one my bf of two years met me for lunch yesterday for my Bday. He paid for a pub lunch and bought me a card, large box of chocolates and made me a cake. When my friends asked what he had bought me they said he’s taking the p@ss as he earns quite a lot of money and proceeded to make fun of it. I was happy with the gifts as I never usually get anything. A good day turned into a bad one as my friends made me feel shit 😕 Just venting really as it makes me not want to tell them anything in future.

Wow your friends sound like high maintainence pricks tbf. A think the fact he made you a cake is worth more than a 100 pound bottle of perfume. What a nice gesture!

Not every couple value lavish gifts, don’t let them steal your joy.

Happy Birthday for yesterday.
They are rubbish friends. It sounds like your bf did some lovely things for you on your birthday. The fact he made you a cake suggests he put some real thought and effort in. And if you were happy, that is all that matters.
Ignore them. They are probably just jealous.

Was it your 40th OP?

Same as above. The cake would have told me how much he loves me ❤

He put what sounds like a lot of thought into your bday, I think he’s sounds like he did a really nice thing for you and your friends are twats.

A nice dinner together (out or home made), and the fact he spent time and thought making me a cake would be better than a gift bought to be honest. Some people need monetary items to count their worth, personally I prefer the thought and time/effort put into showing me someone cares.

I would rather have a partner who puts in the effort to make a cake than one who just buys me a different perfume/pair of earrings etc each year without giving it proper thought.

Making a cake is lovely. My now husband did that for my 30th and it meant the world, so much more than buying one. He clearly cares a lot and your friends are jealous. It’s easy to buy something but not everyone makes actual effort and spends the time like he has.

I agree with what other pp have said but I do see it from a slightly different angle.

Bearing in mind it's only one day out of the year, I do think spouses should try to make it special to show their partners that they are cherished. Perhaps the cake shows that? It all depends on if he bakes ordinarily anyway. A cake wouldn't feel special to me because my partner bakes and buys cakes all year round.

For me, I feel that spouses should do something special which marks out their partner above all others. It doesn't have to be expensive. But it should be something that they wouldn't buy anyone else. I think there's something really touching about a man choosing jewellery for a woman. It doesn't have to be diamonds, but it does have to be something which he wouldn't buy for his mum/daughter etc., in my opinion.

Perhaps your friends meant that but didn't convey it properly.

Hi yes he does bake regularly but he did meet me in my lunch for food even though we are going out tonight. I do spend a lot more on him but was taught you don’t give to receive. I have low self esteem anyway so this really didn’t help 🙈

Was it your 40th OP? Sorry to repeat the question but it matters surely.

Sorry to read that you have low self-esteem.

If it helps, all I got for my birthday was a shop-bought cake which I didn't even like, some chocolate which we buy all year round anyway, and a few tenners in a card. I thankfully don't suffer from low self-esteem but it made me feel proper shit on my birthday, I can tell you! You sound lovely, happy birthday.

wow he made you a cake? that would be enough of a gift to me. i find it strange how people judge how other's celebrate occasions. lavish gifts aren't my thing, i'd prefer for someone to put thought and effort into something instead. one of my favorite birthday gifts were awesome framed pics of my daughter and our puppies. i prefer that to a dinner out and a name brand pair of shoes or purse.

@duodunical apologies for the quick replies but I’m just going back to work. It wasn’t my 40th I’m not forty something. Thank you for your replies I’ll reply after work.

*I am 40 something that should say

He made you a cake. I would be happy with that

I think they are lovely thoughtful gifts, he made the time to spend with you as well as paying for Lunch and making the effort to bake a cake, that's better than buying something expensive that you may not appreciate or want. What do your friends do? Demand what they want in advance? Or because he earns a lot they think you should be a gold digger. Be grateful you have a kind thoughtful man, I've read so many posts on here where the man has completely forgot or not made any effort for birthdays.

Your bf made you feel happy, loved and appreciated.

Your friends made you feel like shit.

I know which relationship I'd be reconsidering.

I’d have been soooo happy with that. I’ve been single forever and am mostly very happy that way, but every year on my birthday I get a little twinge of sadness that nobody ever organises me a birthday cake, let alone makes me one. If I ever get a birthday cake again, let alone one made especially for me, it will mean more than all the jewellery, perfumes etc in the world.

What he did was really sweet. Your friends are not so sweet.

Ah he sounds lovely, I'm happily single but after a year of cooking (rather than eating out) if have been more than happy with that. The cake would be made me swoon. I can buy myself clothes, perfume erg but no fun in making yourself a birthday cake.
U have friends that would be said something similar, and have done in the past, but I would just politely point out that I'm into thoughtful gestures rather than material objects but it would be a boring world if we were all the same 😁

You are right they all get expensive bags, perfume etc. It was even frowned on that my card had happy Birthday on the front and not gf (I had my gifts and cards in work as we met for lunch) usually I wouldn’t share this info.

I think the fact that this makes you not want to tell your friends, sorry, "friends", anything from now on says it all.
You don't have a boyfriend problem, you have a friends problem.

Accept that they are who they are - sure, it was thoughtless and a bit shallow of them to behave this way, but it doesn't make them the wickedest people ever - and see if you can make a few extra friends with a different outlook.

Op if anyone says anything else I would tell them you were more than happy with your gifts and found them very thoughtful. You said you're going out tonight too which he will probably pay for so I would much rather have 2 days/nights out and a cake made than a bottle of perfume or a handbag