Should I tell him how he made me feel/what to do

[buki93]

I've been dating a guy for about 2 months, we've been seeing each other a couple of times a week, staying over at each other's houses, going for walks, hanging out, playing games, cooking together, spending the night...

We both wanted something serious and made that clear from quite early on so as to not waste time.

We talked every day, sending memes and discussing work, general nice conversation, we have lots in common.

2 weeks ago I said goodnight to him (we did that pretty much every day before sleeping) and he didnt reply - fair enough I thought, hes probably gone to sleep😅

Next day there were no messages from him whatsoever, I texted a "Hey how are you today" and again, no reply all day. Next day I sent "hey just checking you're ok? Hope work is being good to you" and again, no reply.

The day after that I was a bit worried mainly because this guy texts all day long and we are both quite talkative so I tried calling, no answer.

He then messaged me that evening saying "big problem I'll let you know I'm sorry"

So I immediately think oh crap i hope everything is ok, hope his health is good, hope everything is alright with this job and family.

So thennn I text him "ohhh hope everything is ok, I'm so sorry. Let me know if theres anything I can do to help"

No replies after that for one whole week.

I waited 8 days and texted him to please update me whenever he could, I've been worried (which I genuinely had).

Again no response. That was around 3pm.

That evening about 11pm I'm on Instagram and I see hes posted a photo of him kissing a girl on the cheek, another photo with them both in it and a couple more of some place they went to together for the day.

I just thought WOW. What happened to communication? I would have had SO much more respect for him if he said "listen we are just not working out but I wish you the best" instead of full on ignoring me like this.

I'm not going to pretend it's been years with this person and I'm so so hurt I've lost him - it's only been two months. However there have been beautiful memories and I did like him very much.

I sent him a message after seeing the photos saying "I don't really know what to say haha, it just would have been nice if you let me know we weren't working out 🙃 just so I knew that's all. Instead of not communicating it because I had truly no idea. I wish you all the best anyway".

He saw that immediately and no reply.

I just feel like I (or any human being) deserve to be told about where we are at in the relationship. I feel extremely sad - not because I'm losing him but mainly because I feel that I have been treated so badly and with an element of total disrespect. I feel kinda disposable.

What makes things a bit worse is that I had made him some toy model thingies, he knows I'd made them and I'd spent quite a lot of time money and effort on them (I kept him updated throughout the process as I treated it like a commission) and he knew I was going to give those to him next time I saw him. He also knew I had planned to cook a special dish for him to bring over with me on our next date to enjoy.

These little things to me, just seem to add to the whole disrespect thing and make it seem like he didnt care.

I'd love to know if anyone agrees with me about this and also if you think I should text him yet again, letting him know how i feel or should i just leave and forget him entirely like he seems to have done with me?

It's still all very fresh so excuse the lack of structure and the length of this absolute essay!

Thank you..

Don't text the girlfriend either, you will come across as a crazy ex. Not your problem, you've dodged a bullet. Just move on now

No op
I know you're craving a response but he simply won't reply cause he's a total nob and then you'll just feel worse than you did before.
Block and move on for your own sake!

I’m sorry. What a rude, pathetic knob. Your message was enough to get your point across and keep your dignity. Don’t add anything more. You shouldn’t feel bad. He is 100% the one at fault. He knows that deep down too.

Please don’t text the girlfriend that’s awful advice.

Yes please don’t text her, trust me it will make you feel worse, when I found out a guy I was dating was dating someone else I messaged her and all I got was abuse back from her, and he told the girl I was just a slag etc, (despite the fact he had told me he loved me) but apparently I was just a slag who “dropped my knickers” the first night we met, which she took great delight in telling me. Just step out of it, you owe her nothing, I promised myself I would never message the ow again after that! He will probably just tell her you are crazy and he wasn’t exclusive with you.

I think your chance to say anything was the last message you sent. I'd have probably more said he should have had the balls to tell you he's a two timing prick then blocked before he had the chance to reply then you wouldnt have seen he ignored your message.

Going back to add more about how he made you feel is unnecessary because he doesn't care how you feel or he wouldn't have done it.

@KensingtonKate

Just block him and keep a dignified silence. It will bother his ego more that you are not arsed.

Can you sell the models online and put the money towards a facial or something else to pamper yourself?

Move on OP but , with kindness, maybe take things a little slower next time. No more toy models until the relationship is well established!

Coming on here to say exactly the same. You obviously put time and effort into those models - and if he collects - I bet other people do.

I would sell them and use the money for something really lovely FOR YOU.

And yes there has been good advice on this thread. Block and move on.

I think you’ve been treated really badly
And it’s so sad if this is not even that uncommon these days
Block him and put it down to experience
Dodged a bullet really but it will hurt 💐

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation

Write down everything you want to say to him. Then either delete it if you did it electronically, or burn it if you wrote it on paper.

All you'd get out of sending it would be to give him an ego boost knowing that you were into him enough to be hurt.

He's a cunt and you deserve a lot better treatment.

I'd personally comment on his GF's instagram but then I'm a petty, vindictive cow. Which is why I don't date 🤣

Lol yes maybe something like oh that looks awesome . I really enjoyed it there the week earlier

I think he won't care that he hurt you unfortunately, as he probably (wrongly) thinks there's nothing wrong with what he did.

Just block on everything.

He's a liar and a cheat.
I think you already said what needed to be said so I wouldn't message him anymore. He won't care because he doesn't.

Take the things you made for him and sell them.

In the future, always assume men are lying until they prove they aren't.

Like PP said, many who are the least bit attractive use OLD as a free brothel. They know exactly what to say to women to get in their pants.
Men lie and they lie a lot.

Wow I can't express how grateful I am for all the advice and support, I genuinely thought I'd get 2 or 3 responses so thank you all so much, I'm really trying to take everything in.

It's been some days now, ofc reading all your responses has been so helpful - it's crazy to think a 31 year old man could behave in such a childish way, I do feel shitty and used and hurt - but definitely glad to have gotten out of it now rather than later.

I have not tried to contact either him or her - oddly though I did get a follow request from her on instagram which must have been accidental from her as it had gone, also yesterday he called my phone and I didn't answer, he left a voicemail which was just some shuffling so I guess he butt-dialled me accidentally. I still feel sad remembering certain things and memories but I know time will heal! Thank you all again, we all deserve the best people in any relationship