Is this a red flag?

[Ariannah]

At an ice cream shop with a new date, we got cornets to take away and go for a walk in the park. I ordered strawberry. He said “Are you sure you want that? They have loads of flavours? I said yep, I like strawberry. He said “but they’ve got literally dozens of flavours?” I said yep but I want strawberry. He said “just this shop has more flavours of ice cream than anywhere else, there’s loads of choice”. I said yep but I’ve picked strawberry. He said “Ok then...” and rolled his eyes and paid for it. Now I keep thinking about it and it niggles me because I feel like maybe I’m too vanilla (or strawberry!) or maybe he’s just controlling?

Would have been bye at the eye roll 🙄 no thanks I don’t need your contempt on date one

Yup, the questioning would have had me doubting, but the eye-roll - not even joking, I'd have walked out.

Even the abusive wanker I was with for way too long was better behaved than that on the first date.

Exaggerated sighs, stonewalling, eye rolls, head shakes, pompous statements to make you feel like you’re ridiculous if you’re just operating normally - all bad.

Eye roll is passive anger so yes a definite red flag. Pushing you to change your mind is worrying, would he be like this with sex?

I might encourage my dc if I knew that they were always unadventurous but you're an adult and he should respect your wishes.He hasn't earned the right to try to persuade you to change your mind so over stepping. My older sibling discarded men for what I saw as silly reasons....not unsurprisingly she ended up in a happy marriage as chose wisely.

I would have flagged it as controlling and condescending. It's not like you were at the shop insisting on buying a box of strawberry flavoured cornets to share and he was having to have it strawberry too.

What a twerp. I'd right him off tbh.

The eye rolling is both a massive turn off and dismissive of your choices and opinions. Who wants to date a man with the maturity of a hormonal 14 year old?!

New date should be falling over himself to impress you, not trying to control your choices and showing contempt. Get rid of this arse.

I know you've not posted this in AIBU but may I say that anyone who doesn't choose strawberry is BU!! Strawberry ice cream is the only choice, oooh I have a fancy now...*puts on shoes, gets purse and keys...

Give me a really good quality vanilla ice cream any day. Better than anything else.

YES it's a red flag. Controlling behaviour starts with the little things.

I would say it was a red flag. Belittling your preferences and trying to persuade you to change your mind isn't respectful.

The fact tat he kept on about it is a definite red flag. What a bellend.

I once asked a date multiple times if he was sure he didn't want to try something different, when he took me to a lovely Italian restaurant.

He ordered himself...pasta with red sauce

I just couldn't fathom why he wanted the most basic of foods at a lovely authentic Italian.

I carried on seeing him to discover the red sauce pasta was actually him being adventurous. Turned out that if it did not come out of a packet from the freezer aisle he would not eat it. Would often make fun of me and insult me when I tried to enjoy salads or any sort of vegetables. He didn't just eat like a toddler he acted like one as well if things didn't go his way 😂 fundamentally incompatible. Should have realised from red sauce pasta.

Nothing wrong with red sauce pasta BTW, me and kids often have it

Absolutely an Asshole Alert in my book.

The icecream choice would be dealt with "what's it to you, what I choose?"
And the eye roll would mean the date was over....once I had the ice cream in my hand.🤣.

He really sounds like a twat.

He was testing you. He wanted to see how receptive you were to his manipulation.
Swapping pink to brown on an ice cream on date one. Wait until he gets you in the sack.

I think he as trying to impress you with the choice in a shop he knew, and was disappointed you chose a boring flavour. Not really a red flag on its own.

I would bin him asap. Bin people like this at the first sign, don't give chances or benefit of the doubt or tests to see if blah blah blah. He should be on his best behaviour. And this is it.

@Ariannah

Sounds like he was trying to impress you and was annoyed that you weren’t bowled over by his choice of ice cream shop!! Maybe. He took me somewhere with loads of options and seemed really miffed that I picked strawberry. Of course he didn’t ask WHY I picked strawberry. Because I have some mild food allergies and I didn’t want to look picky by asking for the allergen menu. I thought strawberry looked safe because it had no nuts or other bits in it. He picked a rocky road pie which had marshmallows and biscuit crumbs and sauce.

He shit all over your choice, he tried to manipulate you, he negg'd your choice, then he huffed. It doesn't matter what his fucking motivation is, he behaved like an arsehole. So now you know, he's an arsehole. Is that who you want to date?

Very strange, we don't always have to be adventurous it's an icecream ffs pick what you want.
Really want an icecream now.....

I would inwardly raise my brows at someone who chose strawberry in a shop with loads of different flavours. You can buy that anywhere!
But I wouldn't say anything or keep harping on about it!

WTF has it got to do with him what flavour you chose? If the shop sells it then they obviously think it is good enough.
He's a twat. The red flag is the fact that he is arrogant enough to display that do early on in a relationship. Get rid of that one sharpish.

Bin... next....

You wanted strawberry. You chose strawberry. End of.
He's a prick