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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Tattoo of ex and jealousy

47 replies

taheje · 20/04/2021 21:30

Dh had a tattoo of his ex-wife's name when they were married, he had it changed before we met but every-time I see the tattoo I keep thinking of how much he must have loved her to get her name tattooed on him.

I just need to be told that I'm being over sensitive as I know I am really but it's making me so unhappy 🙁

OP posts:
Warrickdaviesasplates · 20/04/2021 21:32

You are being ridiculous. You know he has been married before, he must have really loved her to marry her so why is a tattoo that's since been covered up bothering you more than his previous marriage?

bunglebee · 20/04/2021 21:35

All he's really done is proved that it's bloody stupid to get a tattoo of a partner, even one you're married to. Like most people, he's learned from experience. We were all young and stupid once, just not all our mistakes took the form of literal permanent scarring. (And I have four tats, so I'm for sure not anti-tattoo.)

You know you're being daft. You knew he had been married before, and there's not much he can do about either the marriage or the tattoo now. You have to find a way to either let it go or split up.

Happycat1212 · 20/04/2021 21:38

I wouldn’t worry but then I really hate tattoos anyway even more do ones of peoples names, are you annoyed he hasn’t got one for you? Is that what bothers you?

harknesswitch · 20/04/2021 21:39

You are being ridiculous!

TheCraicDealer · 20/04/2021 21:42

"every-time I see the tattoo I keep thinking of how much of a fucking idiot he was to get anyone's name tattooed on him"

Fixed it!

Aria2015 · 20/04/2021 21:42

I had my ex's name tattooed on me. I can assure you I love my dh far more than I loved him. I obviously wish I hadn't done it but I did - live and learn!

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 20/04/2021 21:44

Piss on him. That way he'll be marked in a way that no one has done before .

taheje · 20/04/2021 21:46

@AccidentallyOnPurpose

Piss on him. That way he'll be marked in a way that no one has done before .
😂😂😂
OP posts:
BilboBercow · 20/04/2021 21:46

Please get a grip

CattingTime · 20/04/2021 21:47

I had an ex's name tattooed when I was very young.

He was a cunt and I was an idiot.

I have now had it covered. People don't always get a name tattoo because of how much they love someone very much, I was just young and very daft.

LadyMcLadyface · 20/04/2021 21:50

My ex had my initials tattooed on his leg because he(/we) were young and stupid. We're both happily married to other people now and I'd completely forgotten it even happened until reading this thread! We all make mistakes.

idrinkchocolatemilk · 20/04/2021 21:56

The amount of times I’d of happily had someone’s name tattooed is ridiculous! Trust me it means fuck all, don’t let it get to you. Or you could cut that part of his skin off?

CrazyNeighbour · 20/04/2021 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

category12 · 20/04/2021 22:01

Had you never had a boyfriend or someone you loved before you met your DH?

taheje · 20/04/2021 22:03

@category12

Had you never had a boyfriend or someone you loved before you met your DH?
Yes I have... I know... it makes me seem even more unhinged.

And totally hypocritical. But I'm obsessed with how much he may have loved her . I just don't know why I'm like this 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
ItsNotLoveActually · 20/04/2021 22:04

He's had it covered at least.

category12 · 20/04/2021 22:06

Perhaps you should have a few sessions with a therapist to work out what's going on with the obsessive thoughts and get some control over them.

ijustgiveup · 20/04/2021 22:07

My partner still has a tattoo of his exes name and they split up 11 years ago

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 20/04/2021 22:08

And totally hypocritical. But I'm obsessed with how much he may have loved her . I just don't know why I'm like this 🤷‍♀️

You're looking at this the wrong way.

Name tattoos are a dime a dozen. They're right up there with Chinese characters, dolphins,butterflies and the spiky arm band thing. It's proof he's a follower rather than of his love. There's thousands of men for example that have their kid's names tattooed ,but never see them.

Unless of course it's 2ft and He covered it with "I'll never get over you". Then you're in trouble.Grin

CattingTime · 20/04/2021 22:20

@AccidentallyOnPurpose

And totally hypocritical. But I'm obsessed with how much he may have loved her . I just don't know why I'm like this 🤷‍♀️

You're looking at this the wrong way.

Name tattoos are a dime a dozen. They're right up there with Chinese characters, dolphins,butterflies and the spiky arm band thing. It's proof he's a follower rather than of his love. There's thousands of men for example that have their kid's names tattooed ,but never see them.

Unless of course it's 2ft and He covered it with "I'll never get over you". Then you're in trouble.Grin

I also had a Chinese character. Now also covered Grin

I was an idiot.

allgoodinthehood · 20/04/2021 22:21

My ex had his ex name on his leg . Lol it was the same as my name . I used to call it his tramp stamp . Stupid man as she was a devious woman who stole his money .

getyourfreakon · 20/04/2021 22:41

At the age of 21 I had my role models first name initials tattooed just above both ankles. Several years later they're the first and middle name initials of DD, unintentional. She loves them and they're still my role models. Actual names though I've always thought are silly and misjudged in the moment kind of thing. If its been covered you need to suck it up. It's not about you or a comparison to back then. You don't need to earn your name on his skin, nor do you need to compete with ink that's old news and out of the picture (heh).

caringcarer · 20/04/2021 23:53

My Exh had his exwife's name on his arm. It really never bothered me. He had a dreadful divorce and hated her.

happytohavefoundyou · 21/04/2021 00:57

@taheje some of the pp have said about their dps getting tattoos & now hating their ex, well that actually doesn't mean they didn't love them a lot...

But OP, the issue you have is that it's a visible sign of their relationship, it's a lot easier for people to deal with past relationships when it's not in their face, along with believing their dp saying how bad their relationship was.

It really doesn't matter if he loved her, he loves you now. You don't know what the conversation was about this tattoo either, why he got it.

My ex got my whole name, including my middle name, along with four dates in the shape of a heart. It's the size of a hand on his chest. He did it cause he had cheated.
Another ex got my name on the back of his neck 😆 he was young & very dumb, we weren't even really dating.

Funny thing is I've never had a tattoo, & have never wanted my name on anyone, doesn't show me love.

You need to work on this, have a conversation with him.

SD1978 · 21/04/2021 01:05

It doesn't 'prove' he loves her, juts proved he was a bit of an idiot.

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