I had no idea when I started getting myself involved with "Dave" that he was toxic. He seemed so genuine and into me. His past seemed ok with women. Just three long realtionships in 27 years. He seemed like he had high standards. Especially because he was still on good terms with his ex.
It sort of went like this.
Compliments. Intense contact. So into me and began to talk about the future. Sent me gifts. Love declared within six weeks.
Lots of sex talk but continued to be nice and talk about the future.
Told me about his depression and struggled with drink in the past. Attempted suicide at one point point.
Noticed he started having moody times.
Started talking to me about a woman he had a fling with after his ex stalking him. Started telling me how he attracted unwanted attention from women and only wanted to be friendly.
Continued to say he had no doubts. I was the one. He had never met someone like me. Bla bla bla.
After a few months I experienced my first punishment for offering him space and asking him if he was sure about a future with me. Two days later he barked he would give it another go but I couldn't keep messing his head up.
I was catching on by this point.
His moods were up and down.
Small insults started. My hair, my complexion.
Still really into me. Compliments. Sex. Planning a future. Told me he wanted to take me and my kids (never met them) to the beach this summer. Told me he would always spoil me and I would feel so loved when I was finally with him properly.
More women stories. The fling lady was back bothering him. Ex wife sending him cross messages. Ex girlfriend still in touch with him. I always felt he wasn't over his ex. She just came up to much.
Started adding more women onto his social media and I caught him out. I was noticing old school friend was suddenly allover him. She was clearly into him. Felt strange seeing it as I was his girlfriend apparently. .
Confronted him. It ended. I contacted the stalker who confirmed he's been messing with her life for two years. Broken promises and in and out with her. She's now on anti depressants and miserable because of him.
For two weeks it was silent. Then he came back asking if I missed him. My gut feelings were screaming the second I saw his name. For two days we messaged but I realised nah I don't want this. I felt anxious and stressed just by him speaking to me. So I called him to explain that I couldn't do this due to xyz and unless he could proove to me that he was going to change it was best we walked away.
He got off the phone. Text the fling womsn and called her a sxxt and she blocked him. I told him It was over and I didn't trust him or want him.
It's been 3 weeks. He blocked me a few days ago. Yes I noticed he had because I do still feel weak and look at our old messages to make sense of things. But I've made no contact.
I know he's added new women since deleting me. I know from spying on the first week onto his page a new women was hearting his photos and an old school friend was calling him beautiful. So I know he's already got new people fussing him.
I've done alot of research since to try help myself understand it was not me. It's him. He's mentally ill.
Unless you've been through this I don't think you can appreciate how hard it is to move on. I have very much moved on from him in that way but I can't get over the lies. The games. The way I fell for it.
This guy sent me expensive gifts. Spent every waking hour in contact. He was weakening me and altering me. He has changed me. I was walking on egg shells. Always trying to please him. Putting him before myself. I was distracted. Drained. Yet my wholeself was believing he was worth it because of how he had shaped me to start with.
Please don't reply to this unless you can relate or give advice. I am aware it's a block and move on thing. But anyone's who's been damaged with this will get how tough it is.
So much more than this but I would be here all day.