Female 34 dating male 20? Advice needed.

[Skyatsky]

20 yo bloke crazy about my friend. However, he does not know her age as she looks a lot younger (she is 34). He is forever asking her on a date etc. She has asked my advice, it would just be for fun on her behalf as the age gap is too big to develop into anything serious.

What do I tell her:

Go for it?

Or

No go?

Advice appreciated.

I"m 35 and can't imagine being attracted to a 20 year old in terms of their maturity and life experience. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it in theory but I can't understand the attraction.

@LST

I wouldn't. But when does it become acceptable? If she was 44 and he was 30 would it be 'ok'?

The half-your-age-plus-seven rule works relatively well.

So, you're 24? They need to be at least 19. You're 34? They're at least 24. You're 44? They're at least 29.

It's not hard and fast, but it's weirdly accurate in terms of feelings of creepiness.

Also, no, ew: 20 year olds are far too young, even the 'mature' ones, to be at all attractive for an actual adult. Dating only those whose frontal cortex has completely formed is a good basic plan.

Do you know what's actually hot? Competence. Competence and accountability and a great sense of humor.

@youvegottenminuteslynn yes to me 16 is fine. I was 16 when I met my other half. He was 9 years older than me. We were living together just after I turned 18 and still together now 11 years later

Look it's just plain creepy and weird. What the hell would a sensible 34 year old woman see in a 20 year old boy? And yes, I do mean boy.

I agree with this. Yuck and desperate.

@Nancydrawn fair enough! That seems a good way to put it

I'd find it weird because I like very manly men and I've never ever met a manly 20yr old so I just can't even begin to understand how anyone could be sexually attracted to a 20yr old as a grown women.

Yes, they're old enough to do as they please but if it was my friend I'd think of her differently for it.

My mum was 33 and her now husband was 22 when they met. She’s 55 now and their marriage is still going strong so it can work

@youvegottenminuteslynn

I'm 34. If I found out a guy I found attractive was 20 I would not be attracted to him anymore! Could have been in sixth form two years previously! Grim. Huge, huge difference life experience wise.

Could have been in sixth form one year previously if his birthday was the end of August and you met him just after his 20th birthday.

[quote HairboStrawb]@youvegottenminuteslynn yes to me 16 is fine. I was 16 when I met my other half. He was 9 years older than me. We were living together just after I turned 18 and still together now 11 years later [/quote]
I meant if the guy OP mentioned was 16. Do you think a 34 year old dating a 16 year old is 'fine'? Really?

Thank you all for your honest responses, we have had a good giggle. She would never date him in reality and this thread has confirmed it would not be appropriate to do so even if she was attracted to him (she's not). We are loving the half the age plus 7 method, it's definitely one to follow although even that seems Young but it does takes the edge of things iyswim.

Well, that was pointless then

Nope that’s not true . Pretty much everyone was right behind Charles when he at age 32 married the 20 yr old Diana"

I was about Diana's age and I thought it was gross and unbelievable that she would want to be with him. When I got older myself, I realised he had married a child.

I personally wouldn't want to.

I think it depends on his maturity level. Some twenty year olds can act like boys still whereas others are more mature.

I'm 32 and I couldn't 'have fun' with a 20 year old, just feels creepy and wrong, I know at 20 your classed as an adult but your realy not in the grand scheme of things.

@Skyatsky if she would never date him in reality, what was the point in posting ( twice)?

If you're not attracted to him OP, why did you post this?

There’s a relationship with a 30 year age gap in my family. They met at age 20 and 50. Still happy together 20 years later.