A younger guy at work - would appreciate your thoughts!

[Cupcake00]

I have been in my current role almost 2 years. There is a guy within our team who has always been friendly and we have always got along. We clicked straight away. We all do as a team. He is a bit of a joker, keeps spirits high, a bit of a cheeky chappy really. A couple of the staff have commented how he likes to do anything he can to help me. I have definitely noticed he is slightly flirtatious but that was about all. I never gave it a 2nd thought as he is alot younger with a girlfriend.
Fast forward - he is no longer with his girlfriend (split last October). He is still his still the same character, however, he has asked me out on a date. I brushed it off as a bit of a joke bringing up the age difference (13 years). However, we started to chat outside of work and he is lovely. I started to forget about his age. Nothing has happened. We have gone on a few walks with our dogs.
He just keeps telling me that he doesn't see anything wrong with the age difference. However, wants me to feel comfortable. I have mentioned I'm concerned as I dont want to spoil our working relationship. He understands and again doesn't want me to feel uncomfortable. However, I enjoy his company. He's kind, I don't feel pressured.
Nobody knows we have been in contact outside of work. However, someone has approached me, telling me I have an admirer and said I should be aware and commented on his age. I felt embarrassed and brushed it off.
I have mentioned it to him. He has said he would like to continue chatting meeting but only if I'm comfortable. He isn't concerned about what people think.
I don't know if I'm doing the right thing.
He's so much younger.
We work together.
The comment today, I feel that I would be judged.
Am I not thinking clearly because I have enjoyed his company/attention. I have dated previous and know how difficult it is to find someone you click with.
He wants to go for a picnic next weekend. I want to but feel a little worried.
Can this even work anyway. I'm not sure if we are on the same path.
Anyone got any thoughts on this, would appreciate it.

I have looked at the policy in work and as long as it is declared, and obviously you remain professional, it appears ok.
I had planned to speak to my manager today. However, woke this morning feeling uneasy about the whole thing.
I am probably over thinking everything.
After my colleagues comment, I have found it difficult to even approach this guy, which has upset me as he has been a great support within my role. I didn't get off to a great start where I am, in terms of guidance and support. There were very few I felt comfortable with, he was one of them.
So already, I feel like our work relationship has become uneasy (for me, he is fine). I'm just over thinking about what others are maybe saying. How I'm coming across. Our office can be quite toxic in terms of gossip. Someone is always topic of conversation.

Working together is probably not a major issue until it goes wrong, then there's no escape. I don't have an issue with age gaps normally, but a 30 year old is in quite a different place to a 43 year old. It's not the age, but maybe the life stage?

Why would you talk to your manager before you are even sure he wants to go out?

cheeky chappy this made me cringe

Loads of people meet at work. We have quite a few couples, but as we're a large organisation,
it's quite possible not to cross paths at all in work terms. I'd be more wary in a smaller organisation, where you can't get away from each other as easily.

Some work places have policies against this - we're not allowed relationships with people at a different level in the same reporting line. A previous place didn't allow anyone in the audit department to date other employees. You've checked your policy and should be okay.

The age gap wouldn't bother me, as you're both well out of your teens.

But you seem bothered by something, and I think if you don't settle that in your mind, it's going to remain there like a black cloud and will shade whatever does or doesn't happen.

We have met up out of work. We thoroughly it would be better to declare it to our management. I think I would feel less uncomfortable. I haven't spoken to him today. I will tomorrow.
The more I have thought about it, life is too short, I'm going to continue and see how things go.
Thankyoou for all your messages.

Wow given advice on here people would never do anything. Met my husband at work, most people do, he is three years younger, been together 25 years. Have some fun, better than OLD!

@Cupcake00

He is 30 and I am 43. We both have children. Yes, that's my concern re working together. I have mentioned our working relationship.

A 13 year age difference is substantial but at those ages and the fact you both have children (so he's not necessarily hoping for kids when you're past that age wise) means it matters a lot less and less risk he will up and leave for a younger woman so he can have kids with her.

The risk is if he wants more kids in the future or is looking to use you to indulge in an older woman fantasy. His feelings may also change when he's 40 and you're 53. If none of these things apply it could of course work out. Probably best taking time to get to know him better and checking if you're both on the same page future wise before you get involved e.g. living location, more kids or not, wanting marriage in the future etc.

I say go for it. If it feels right at the time then just go with it. All I will say though is it’s very awkward if things end up not working out and you have to face them everyday but you’re grown ups I am sure you can cope! Good luck!

Life is what we make it and you never know what is around the corner as we have all learnt .
The decision is yours .