His happiness depends on how much he gets

[morningmist]

Been with my bf for over 10 years. But i feel like his love for me depends on how much sex we are having. If he is in a bad mood I ask what's up and he will tell me "you know what to do to make me happy". He has terrible mood swings if we haven't done it for a while. He isn't physically abusive though. But the other morning I heard him call our 5 yr old a little twat. And our 5 yr old asked him what's wrong and he told him daddy wants pumpy wumpy. He will frequently talk to me sexually Infront of the kids which I don't like and he knows.

I am starting to feel as though his happiness and good behaviour depends on how much we dtd. Sometimes a few weeks can pass without doing it and he will start to ingnore me and make comments about how little we are doing it. I don't have a high sex drive and in the past I have done it just for his benefit. But he would complain it's not good enough because I laid like a sack of potatoes. So this put me off doing it when I'm not in the mood.

Please tell me it's not normal to act like this

He is abusing your child. Tell the school/childcare provider, the GP, call social work and leave him. He's disgusting and abusive.

It's not normal in any way.

He's vile and disgusting.

How soon can you leave?

Yuck. And your poor daughter too. Do you want her to grow up thinking men should talk to her like that? That they have a right to be angry when women don't have sex with them?

You cant change him but you can show your daughter by leaving him that women should not tolerate being tested like pieces of meat.

*being treated like

This is shocking words fail me get out and get out now.

That's fucking disgusting. Jesus Christ OP please leave, he's basically abusing your kids.

Literally had my gob wide open reading this. Get rid of him NOW! This is child abuse and you're complicit if you don't leave him.

I had a fella like that before husband. He once told me once a day was not enough and narked narked if I didn't comply. He almost spat feathers!

Needless to say the relationship was not a long one.

I wonder what he's doing now (am not going to try and find out, thankfully he hails from a different part of the country so unlikely to bump into), late fifties, probably married with grown up kids. Unless he has really changed I feel sorry for his wife.

If someone called my child a little twat he'd find himself sat in the gutter outside wearing the contents of his wardrobe quicker than you could say 'child abuse'

Your kids will become normalised to this, leaves them wide open to abuse. His boundaries sound very iffy, to put it mildly. I'd leave before he's looks for younger victims...

Op this would be considered a serious safeguarding issue if your dc mentions any of this at school. It is abuse and SS would become involved. You could wait for that to happen and let your dc become more damaged and sexualised or you could get out.

OP, it sounds horrible.

Obviously you can just up and leave, but realistically is it something you can actually do ie do you have somewhere to go? Will he leave? Are you financially independent?

I thought it was bad enough that his feelings for you fluctuate depending on how much sex you have.

Him talking so inappropriately to your child is awful! He is abusive. Leave.

Hello everyone. The OP has since left the site - we're going to close this thread now.