Not much contact between dates

[Kat6901]

Been dating a year, hardly any contact between dates/days out etc. Is this normal after a year? I find it really odd sometimes and like I am forever at the initial dating stage with him. No crazy work schedules or kids. Do I take the hint?

Yes, it's because he's with his wife. Honestly OP, I'd have dumped after 1 month of this.

Doesn’t sound very normal to me... I would expect daily contact of some kind. How often do you meet up?

No wife although can’t rule out someone else I suppose. Meet up about twice a week.

Do you go back to his, have you met his friends, his parents? Do you go to his local or yours? All these things. If the answer is no then he's obviously hiding something, or living a double life.

Yes to all the above just the lack of communication is a bit weird and it feels like we are stuck at the initial dating stage if you know what I mean.

Yes does seem a bit strange, but need more context. Are you bf and gf and exclusive? How old are you both? Does he have w super busy work life?

You know it's not normal and you're not happy. Why put up with this?

Not sure. Are you spending more time together than at the start of the relationship?

I generally really dislike lots of messaging/phonecalls etc - I find it claustrophobic and distracting. I've always preferred to see people in person and am the same with friends.

Me and DH never had/have much conversation outside of face to face and it's very functional when we do.

However if you aren't happy with it and/or you feel the relationship isn't progressing generally then get rid/speak to him

It really depends on a few things. My now-DH and I didn’t text much between dates in comparison to a lot of people I know. We would call mid-week and exchange a few texts but it wasn’t every single day. Neither of us are big texters and I don’t like messaging for the sake of messaging. However, we talked about this and were both happy with it and I felt secure and loved in the relationship.

So I suppose it depends on whether you feel like he really cares for you and is thinking of you between dates. Do you feel happy and loved in the relationship in general?

I think you should consider talking to him about it and see how he reacts.

Yes exclusive I hope. Both quite busy jobs but nothing that affects out of work or non office hours etc.

@User0ne no if anything less

I wouldn't carry on like that for a year. When I was younger I didn't about six weeks with a guy like this before ending it. It was clearly going nowhere.

Thanks for your perspectives by the way.

*spent not didn't

Yeah I was pretty upfront about wanting a relationship if it went well. Guessing I am just a placeholder then.

I have this situation too and am not happy. I've got a kid and tiring job and he works long hours though. Can you bring it up?

@scabbyhorse oh sorry not that great is it. I have and he doesn’t see the issue.

I find myself less and less bothered about him.

It’s not ‘normal‘, no. But in a way, what’s normal is irreverent here. It’s not enough communication for you, and that’s a good reason to end things. I don’t like texting etc but I feel like when I’ve met people I’m keen on, I would want some interaction between dates. You need to move on, especially if you aren’t so bothered anyway.

*irrelevant

I would expect/want daily contact of some kind - even a couple of short messages is fine for me.
I'm not a big messenger and although I don't work long hours or have children I am busy and have other things occupying my time - but after a year I would want to think the relationship is meaningful otherwise it would be more interesting to meet different guys rather than the same one time after time.
I think sex with the same person gets boring if there is no contact/intimacy

Well I was bothered but to go a week with no interest in my life or how I am kind of kills the spark

Yeah I don’t want endless daily chats just I think why is he even bloody with me

Do you not feel welcome if you were to just give him a random call or message?
I would want to daily message just to check how each other is doing, otherwise it would seem it's just a more casual arrangement.

@seensome no not really as he doesn’t reply

What does this mean- Yes exclusive I hope.

Have you not had the chat about exclusivity or what you are?