Not much contact between dates

[Kat6901]

Been dating a year, hardly any contact between dates/days out etc. Is this normal after a year? I find it really odd sometimes and like I am forever at the initial dating stage with him. No crazy work schedules or kids. Do I take the hint?

I meant as in with the weird contact I’m not sure if we are.

Yes I asked him if it was just us two

What do you do on your dates? and is it always on his terms?

Asking if it was just you two is not having the exclusive chat.

Are you actually in a relationship (as in boyfriend/girlfriend)?

How does each date get arranged if you don't message or chat?

How often do you see him?

With the lack of being able to go to pubs/restaurants/cinema for the majority of your relationship is it just Netflix and chill after work a couple of times a week (and does he/you stay over or not?) or do you spend weekends together cooking, reading the papers in bed, going for walks, talking about the future etc?

@JeSuisPrest Long time no see, I hope you are keeping well.
We'd love for you to drop in to the Dating thread when you get a chance.

All good here @SortingItOut, I knew I'd be spotted by you lol. I'll pop on the OLD thread soon with an update, though I'm not sure anyone will be interested, I hardly recognise any of the names now...

I've been in a 'relationship' for about four years like this, feeling as though I was the only one who was bothered about maintaining it. The relationship I'm currently in could not be more different and makes me feel tons more secure.

You've said you're not bothered about him so I would draw a halt to his as it seems you are both looking for different things. Life is opening up again - don't waste it .

@Kat6901

Yes exclusive I hope. Both quite busy jobs but nothing that affects out of work or non office hours etc.

@User0ne no if anything less

"Exclusive i hope" is this for real? How can you be dating someone for almost a whole year yet not even be certain you're exclusive and they're crazy about you hope you're not sleeping with him

Me and my DH never used to talk much in between seeing each other. We would see each other 3 nights a week, but on the days we didn't see each other we'd text a few times in the evening. Happily married 5 years later. Tbh, it made us appreciate the days we had together. I wouldn't say you have an issue

If you have talked to him about how it makes you feel and he is not willing to change then it shows he doesn't want to make the effort for you. Can you really lay it on the line with him and say it is important, give him one more chance? He might have an avoidant attachment style. Hard work.

Hi @JeSuisPrest

To be honest, it doesn't sound as if either of you are that invested in the relationship so I would maybe call it a day and find someone who wants the same kind of relationship as you, if you've talked to him and he isn't willing to address things.

There is no right or wrong at all. I find daily contact a bit odd, but I can see by reading this thread that it's normal for some.

There is a problem here though. It's not because there is anything wrong with him. He might be really in love with you and super committed. The problem is that you are not compatible in your communication needs and it's bothering you. There's nothing wrong with your need for more contact and there's nothing wrong with his need for space. It's just a difference.

First you have to find out if there's anything preventing him contacting you more often eg. a wife, or him having mixed feelings about you. If it's just the way he is and he reassures you he's really keen, then you have to decide if you can live with it. Don't decide he's 'wrong' though!

@Sunshineandflipflops Hey, hope you are doing ok.
The invite to pop over to the Dating thread includes you😁