Is there a way under UK law I can "Divorce" my adoptive parents.

[whippitwoowoo]

I just cant cope anymore. They are so toxic and abusive. I went no contact for 15 years and we've had sporadic contact in the last 4 years since my beloved grandma died.
They are so awful to hurtful to me. I just want to cut my ties forever.

Ive had years of counselling and therapy to cope with them

Can you simply go non-contact?

Do you live near them op?

No, but you don't have to have anything to do with them.

I feel like I need something official to give me closure. They will never change and the toxicity is destroying me.

no , I dont live near them.

I don’t think you can divorce them as such. I’d get legal advice (IANAL), but I believe the best way to ensure they can never have a say over your life, health, finances etc including after your death is either to marry/be in a civil partnership, or if you’re not, to set up someone else to be your Lasting Power of Attorney for health and for financial matters. This could be a friend or relative who agrees.

Emancipation is only for under 18s as obvs after that you are an adult and have the choice to not have contact.

If sporadic contact isn't working then revert to no contact? I'm not sure a piece of paper would change the impact they've had in your mind. More counselling perhaps?

I agree that making a health and welfare power of attorney with a trusted friend, and making a will which explicitly cuts your parents out and leaves your possessions (however little) to someone else or a charity might give you the sense you need of a formal break.

You’re an adult. You don’t need to “divorce” them from a daily life pov.

The only thing you can do if not married/no adult children is to see a solicitor about legal next of kin should you lack competency for any reason, serious injury or death, where as nok they would make decisions on your behalf.

I am married and way over 18.

So your husband is NOK so you’re covered there.

I’d still maybe see a solictor and get everything airtight in case you divorce or predeceases you.

I agree with others. You can set up lasting power of attorney documents for health and welfare, and finances. That person would effectively become your next of kin and make decisions if you needed them to. Then you could make a will.

Op change all contact numbers emails etc and just go no contact.

You have a next of kin and are an adult therefore it's your decision to walk away

@whippitwoowoo

I am married and way over 18.

Just stop communicating with them. The fact you were adopted is neither here nor there - lots of people walk away from their parents and nothing official is needed. Make the decision and do it. Next time you move house don’t tell them where you are. Change your mobile number. Remove yourself from social media and set up new accounts in a couple of years and make them private.

There is no relationship if one party doesn’t want one.

If you want some better closure just go no contact and write a letter and tell them why . Say not to bother to write back as it will just be torn up .

Maybe just putting your feelings on paper and then blocking will be enough .

A fresh start with your family .

I've been no contact with my mother for nearly 10 years.

Just walk away. It's enough.

I did it before for 15 years as I said in my op.
I’ve blocked them and also texted that I’m done with them.

Not sure how a piece of paper is any different to just blocking them? You wouldn’t ‘divorce’ biological parents ???!!!!!

It was just a question I wanted to ask Sunflower. Not sure why you need to be passive aggressive!

You wouldn’t ‘divorce’ biological parents ???!!!!!

I think people have - not in the UK admittedly.
Anyway, they’re not her biological parents so it’s a bit of a moot point really.

I’m sure I’ve heard of children divorcing parents, in America I think.

It’s something I would do if I was able to.
For me, it would give closure to an awful relationship that should never have happened.

As you can't "divorce" them OP, perhaps you could think of another way to give closure? Some sort of little private ceremony?

I know that sounds odd, but something that would emotionally let you feel done with them. Burning a photo mahybe? Whatever works for you.

Did they choose your name? Would changing it make it feel more like they are not your dps anymore +

Op can you write them a letter explaining why you are going no contact, how they've made you feel etc bad send it to th with no return address? Or simply burn it.

I assume you've got your DHs surname? Did they choose your other names? Can you legally change it?

Anything left in the house from them or that reminds you of them? Clear it our.

Legally there's nothing but some kind of cleansing ritual might help you feel done

@whippitwoowoo

I’m sure I’ve heard of children divorcing parents, in America I think.

It’s something I would do if I was able to.
For me, it would give closure to an awful relationship that should never have happened.

Again, this is for minors, not adults.

Sounds like you want a way of giving your parents a very obvious FUCK YOU. This bitterness can't be doing you any good. Just cut contact and move on. Maybe seek therapy if you're finding it hard to stop thinking about them.

I am really sorry it’s not worked out for you as an adoptive mum it makes my heart hurt to hear stories of people who treat their adopted children badly, you deserved to be happy and safe just like any other child.

There is no way of severing the adoption as an adult, in the same way that you can’t stop your birth parents being your birth parents.

The only thing that you can do is cut ties, and make sure they have no power over you.

In terms of creating a psychological break was your name changed and could you consider reclaiming your birth name (even as a middle name) or taking a new one? Do you have your original birth certificate, would that help you to feel free?