Is there a way under UK law I can "Divorce" my adoptive parents.

[whippitwoowoo]

I just cant cope anymore. They are so toxic and abusive. I went no contact for 15 years and we've had sporadic contact in the last 4 years since my beloved grandma died.
They are so awful to hurtful to me. I just want to cut my ties forever.

Ive had years of counselling and therapy to cope with them

Maybe sending them a formal solicitor's letter stating that you no longer want any contact with them would work for you?

Hi there :),

I’m not massively sure on this but I looked into it a few years ago. I forget the specifics but it’s not as cut and dry as divorce and get rid, from what I remember the reality of what it actually achieves is very different from what you imagine. Plus anything like that is going to cost a fair bit.

I’m sorry you’ve had a hard time, my heart goes out to you. I would say do what you’ve done, keep them away. That shows so much strength and respect to yourself. If it helps, think of something you can do to get that closure, whatever it is. Burn photos, get rid of things that remind you of them, seek therapy, and think of that as your new beginning.

So much love to you xx

I remember seeing a young lady on the This Morning program a few years back that wanted to divorce her biological mother. This young lady had I believe a foster family who loved and cared for her more than her biological mother did and she loved them.
I’m not sure how old she was though?

Thanks. I have a fantastic therapist who has helped me so much with current and historical trauma caused by my adoptive parents.
I don’t have anything in my house that is theirs and I have my married surname.
They gave me my first name. It would be very odd to change my first name to my birth one.
I have shortened my name so it’s a bit different. My adoptive family call me by the longer version.
My husband and friends call me the short version.

Why op? I know walking away works I've not seen my parents for 25years I just walked away. My excuse of a dad called me a slut slag hore ect and I ignored him. Just walk away and ignore them that is all you can do. Why though what have they done to you? I was sexually abused by my step brother and dad and left home on my 16th birthday.

Child emancipating themselves from their parents is a thing because of a host of legal reasons, Op your reasons are purely symbolic, for which the law does not need to get involved. If you’ve been NC before you can surely do it again without the bombast of a ‘divorce’.

Minors in the United States can be emancipated from their parents in extraordinary circumstances. Most of the time the foster care system can simply place minors with caregivers. A legal emancipation would be needed to protect assets from unscrupulous parents or in the extremely rare case where a minor is going to be allowed to live independently.

Adults get to draw emotional boundaries and make sure someone else is legally designated to make medical decisions should they become incapacitated. I would suggest you work with your therapist on strengthening those emotional boundaries.

I would suggest you work with your therapist on strengthening those emotional boundaries.

This

A legal construct wouldn’t take the place of your responsibility in maintaining stronger emotional boundaries.

You mention you have a shortened name, OP. I do too, and I changed it officially to this a few years back. My parents would be pissed off as they hated anyone calling me the shortened version. I went NC a few times before cutting them off completely a few years back

I am not aware of the choice you wish to make being allowed. If you have not done so already, make a will so that those you love benefit and not them.

My opinion is that there should be the opportunity in law and in certain circumstances for people to be adopted as adults by a person or people who were not a birth or as a child, adoptive parent. This would effectively mean a 'divorce' from a birth or adoptive parent. Many parents remarry and in some cases the children may want to regard a step parent as if they were a parent.

Wow. What a shitty spiteful comment. Grow up!
Unless you know me or have lived in my shoes as an emotionally abused adopted person you should really think about what you reply on here.
I was neglected for years until I left home at 16.
The damage they did will never leave me. I’ve spent years working on myself and trying to understand what happened. Years and years.
Maybe I do want to lash out but I won’t because I never do.
They act out at me and blame and bully. The stress they cause is jaw dropping at times.
Maybe I wanted them to hurt by me rejecting them like they do me when they don’t hear what they want.

Some of the comments on here have been just horrible to read.

I asked a question, that’s all.

Please ignore the harsh and unhelpful comments.

It seems that there is no legal possibility to do what you want to do. And it wouldn't make a difference anyway as to whether or not they attempt to contact you, nor whether you then respond in some way.

If you feel it would help, you could take the actions mentioned by other people on this thread to make your will explicit, set up lasting power of attorney etc. Then work on going absolutely no contact - delete/block their phone numbers, change your email to one they don't know, and work on ignoring any attempts at contact completely. If they send you letters, destroy them without opening them, or immediately once you realise who they're from. Hang up without speaking if they manage to get your number, and so on. Do the same if they use someone else to try to contact you on their behalf.

If you're still having any kind of therapy or counselling, maybe talk about how you feel about this with them. Or with your DH if they are supportive and a helpful sounding board.

@MrsPsmalls

Of course you cant divorce them. Grow up. Just stop contacting them if you don't want to see them and if they contact you, tell them you think it would be better for everyone if you stop seeing/dealing with each other. No need for spite. It does sound like you want a big fuck you moment, but that will just make you look deranged. So try and go with some dignity.

What a horrible post @MrsPsmalls. In my experience, "Grow up" is what people say when they have nothing of value to add to a discussion.

I do hope that you continue to manage to sail through life with no emotional issues whatsoever, although I wonder what the people around you have to cope with...

No op you can’t because once you become an adult the relationship is simply by choice, other than the next of kin but that’s your husband anyway, you can set up a permanent poa to make sure they are never involved, but as an adult you simply go no contact.

The reason it’s an option for children is because they cannot just walk away, and the parents still have legal controls.

I’m sorry thr relationshop is bad, but no divorcing yout parents is just for kids.

With the next of kin situation, what if the OP and her dh die at the same time?

When I was 17 my dad died. His mother, my grandmother was in a nursing home.

Weeks after my dad died my grandmother died and the nursing home contacted (via her solicitor) my dad's brother who my grandmother had not seen or had contact with for forty years.

He then arranged a speedy funeral which he and nobody else attended as nobody else knew about it. It was absolutely horrific.

I have no knowledge of what you’ve been through but I just really felt I wanted to balance out the shitty comments you’ve had.

Can you afford to see a solicitor? If there isn’t anything legal you can do to separate yourself, at least you can make sure there is no way they could access your estate if anything happened to you and DH and also the Power of Attourney issue.

It sounds like you’ve had a traumatic past and you’ve been dealing with it for many years. I hope you’ve found happiness with your own family