he cheated.

[Idk8]

Ive been with my partner for a long while, he took on my daughter on. Due to some health reasons we havent moved in together but spent nights together speak every day and spend most weekend together.

He started acting different, made some comments about his ex. But it resolved itself and i thought we was fine. Id asked could i see him on the tuesday but he said he was busy so areanged to go the next day. I turned up an hour earlier than planned. after him telling me he wasnt interested in what i had to say about something i had heard on the news (he was in a terrible mood from work) i walked in the bedroom. On my daughters travel cot is a pair of womens pyjamas. I confronted him and he claimed them to be his sons girlfriends from when they both stayed at the weekend. He said he had found them next to his bed and put them there. He then rang her and she said they wasn't. So now hes accused me of putting them there to play mind games and cause issues as im the only other one with a Key and as he claims there has only been Me, his son and his partner and his best friend around in a long time.

Hes so convincing when he tells me he has no idea where they came from. But they can't come from nowhere. I mean that doesnt happen. He has no explanation other than "weird unexplainable things happen to him". Hes said that hes told people what has happened and they all have the same conclusion that i must of done it. I mean really? Like im not hurting enough

How can someone just lie to your face that sincere. How can someone claim to love you and want to be with you and just lie so calmly.

Ive questioned it all so much. I think i wanted to believe him but the reality is pyjamas dont turn up next to someone bed :(

He's a cheating git. Don't let him near your daughter.

Of course he cheated. Shit stirring pixies did not plant those pyjamas in his bedroom. You did not plant those pyjamas in his bedroom.

You deserve better than this.

You went early, caught him off guard, and left him no choice but to turn it around on you in the most pathetic way possible, just to keep up with the lie.

He has no respect for you, or your relationship.

Trust your instincts. He's lying x

The pyjamas and cheating are bad enough. But the gaslighting into saying you put them there is really next level wanker-ness. Leave. Block. Avoid. Never go back. for you OP

You know he is lying, as painful as that is to accept.

The cheating is bad enough but the gaslighting, that’s next level dickishness. Walk away.

He’s cheating but what is more worrying is the lengths he’ll go to to make you look like you are in the wrong. RED FLAG

What are you planning to do op?
How long were you with him?

Cheating and gaslighting you, both are cruel and heartless. He doesn't love or respect you.
Hopefully you have enough self respect to end this now.

Ergh my DH used to go to these lengths to lie about things (not cheating) silly things that I don’t even remember, what I do remember was the constant lying and gaslighting, it drove me mad for years. Get out while you can.

He told people about it and they all agreed with him that you clearly must have planted a pair of female pyjamas in his bedroom to start a row?? Lmfao

That's strange because I .. and I'd say most people on this thread, would not assume that. We'd assume a woman must have left a pair of pyjamas in his bedroom.

You're not living together,it sounds like he has opportunity to see someone else if he chooses to. It's a pity you don't have access to his communications to see if there's any (undeleted) interaction with another woman/en.

Who wears pyjamas when having an affair though? 🤔

Thats my issue. One night atanda dont bring their old disney pyjamas to someones house. Its clear its been going on a while. He left me a voicemail of him telling his friends in work how crazy i must be to go to his house and put them there and im mentally unstable.

He sent me texts saying he was worried for my child as im dangerous the way i am behaving. I didnt do anything apart from end the relationship, pack all my things and walk out of the door. I didnt scream or shout. I just left.

Hes tried to say hundreds of times he has no idea. But i know things dont just randomly turn up especially a womens pair of pyjamas next to his bed 🤷🏻‍♀️

Well he's at least making it easy for you to block him on everything. This is what you HAVE to do, as anything else will feed into the 'crazy ex' smear campaign he has going.

Totally ignore him and anyone who has anything to do with him. You've had a lucky escape, only manipulative arseholes do this when things go wrong.

100 per cent he has cheated. But even if he hasn't, this behaviour needs to be an absolute deal-breaker.

He is cheating and he us absolutely horrible into the bargain.

That gaslighting level is 100. Absolutely terrifying. Even if he has not cheated, you should leave him for the gaslighting alone. Guy sounds like a full on psychopath trying to drive you crazy.

Sounds like he has pissed off the affair partner once too often and she has left her pyjamas there for you to find.

Get him gone asap.
Stay safe op. Do you have someone you can trust that you can tell about this who will back you up fully (not tell you you may have misunderstood).

*Sorry just read your last update, glad you are gone.

Dont listen to any of his headfucking shite.
But be very careful as he may be setting you up for something (eg: going for full custody) by making out you are crazy.

Just block him OP. You know he's lying, you don't need any more proof.

Its the standard 'EVERYONE thinks this about you..' narcissist mindfucking guff btw. Eh, no they don't. Guarantee his workmates think he is a weirdo. Aye pal, she broke into your house to plant pajamas so she could leave you riiiiiiight.

If he it continues I'd message him with 'never contact me again. If your harassment continues I will be speaking with the police' then block him on everything. Make sure to screenshot everything he has sent first, including that message and anything that would constitute harassment/creepyfuckeritis. Hopefully you won't need it.

Block him on everything. He is a dangerous man. He is prepared to slander you to cover up his cheating. He is a sad excuse for a man. Leave him and his pj's and don't look back. He either left them there so you would see them or other woman did.

It sounds so silly, before i met him i was in an abusive relationship. He was very toxic and ended up having a 2 year affair. My gut feeling knew he was but i had no proof so i stayed.

Then i met him and trusted 100%. He is so convincing i even started to believe i was just judging him on my previous relationships. Im 30 years old and still dont learn

Might be worthwhile doing the freedom programme op. Think it can be done online.

And just reading up in signs of how to spot abusers and abuse. And even when you think you know it all, do the odd refresher here and there throughout life.

At least you've learned that you don't need to prove an affair to leave someone.

Don't blame yourself OP and fucking good for you for just packing up and leaving.

I would walk OP. How long have you been with him?

I'd like to thank you all.

After the voicemail with him telling them his story and them all laughing at me i started to doubt myself on what i thought. I started to believe that there could of been another reason.

Deep down i know the truth. Sometimes you don't need them to admit it. Knowing yourself something isnt right is enough.

Hes still claiming it was me who planted them there and he can forgive me. I have acted out of sorts after it all, i went to hear him out and being with him and the love i felt started to believe him. When i left i crashed back to reality.

Again thank you all xx

He is actual vomit inducing. 'HE can forgive you?' what a bloody cheek.

Sounds like he recorded himself telling them that. Wonder if they knew he was recording them.

Its standard to laugh along at work wankers bullshit, it doesnt mean they believe a word. Even if they did,they dont even know you so who gives a fuck.

He is completely deluded and in love with himself. I kinda hope you send him 'LOL, you're funny' and then block the bastard. It'll drive him mad to think you have finally realised he is full of shite. But tbh, probably best to just block him.

Read up on narcissist hoovering tactics. Its things his kind fo to try get you back. Like telling you their mum died or they have cancer or calling from withheld numbers or contacting your friends telling them they are worried about you and asking them to help win you back ect... or posting long rambling letters through your door. He seems the type so be ready!

Have you blocked him yet? If not, please do immediately.

There's no need to remain in touch with someone who has lied to your face, called you mental and called into question your ability to be a parent to your own child.

Please, please block him and move on.