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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Think it’s over because of my snoring - feel helpless

58 replies

Lunafeline · 10/04/2021 06:44

I’ve tried nasal sprays and a nose ring, now he’s gone downstairs to sleep. He’s never done that before. He’s not being horrible about it but he’s getting very frustrated with the lack of sleep. I don’t know what to do but to walk away because I feel so ashamed.
I understand how it feels to be sleep deprived and it’s only a matter of time before he resents me for it. I can’t bare the thought of that. I don’t think anyone can help, just need a handhold as I feel heartbroken x

OP posts:
Lunafeline · 10/04/2021 15:52

I think it’s the mask I had to wear that made my sinuses worse, as it was never every night like it has been for about 2 months. I’m going to try nasal strips and mouth guard if that doesn’t work. Think it may be something medical though.

OP posts:
Fashio · 10/04/2021 17:35

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ittakes2 · 10/04/2021 17:41

My mother snores when she is on her back so she sewed a tennis ball into the back of her PJs. It means she can't roll onto her back and its solves her snoring problem. But being a ball its not pokey. No idea why she did this though - my dad snores so loudly she can't sleep!

AhNowTed · 10/04/2021 18:19

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Marineboy67 · 10/04/2021 21:35

Don't give up whatever you do! Both me and my partner snore! I usually snore if I'm on my back.
My partner snores in every position. It all started when her son was a child and they were bouncing on a trampoline. She was coming down as he was going up and broke her nose as heads clashed. I broke my nose a few times in drunken scuffles as a young man. We laugh about it and I head for the sofa or she does. I've tried all sorts of things but I think surgery is the only option now.

ExhaustedFlamingo · 11/04/2021 05:11

I have been on both sides of this.

I can snore a little bit but my ex was so super-sensitive, he didn't even like the sound of normal breathing when he was trying to sleep. He used to make me sit upright in bed until he was sound asleep and only then was I permitted to lie down and doze off. The feeling of shame was overwhelming but I went out of my way to make sure he wasn't disturbed (even though he was horrible about it). But I just felt terrible about myself and my sleep quality dropped as I was paranoid about falling asleep and being too noisy.

In contrast, my current DP snores like a beastie. He's a right noisy bugger. However, I work very long hours and often until very late into the night so by the time I climb into bed I'm exhausted. I honestly think a jumbo jet could be taking off in my bedroom and it wouldn't stop me dropping off 😅

No-one snores intentionally. And people can't help being sensitive to noise. No-one is to blame here.

I do think though that it's more than a bit shit to insist that the only obvious solution if for the snorer to have to move. If you are being disturbed, then it's just as appropriate for you to sleep on the sofa - the snorer isn't doing it on purpose so sending them out of the bedroom as punishment (as the tone of some of these posts suggested) is grossly unfair. If you both decide that sleeping apart is the solution, then the fair answer is to share the load. If you don't have a second bedroom and someone needs to be on the sofa bed, take it in turns. Neither the snorer nor the light sleeper should be "punished", and both are equally entitled to a decent night's sleep.

Lots of good solutions on here to try. You could also try raising your side of the bed. So, rather than using pillows (I tend to slide off),putting folded up sheets/towels/pillow under the head of the mattress on your side could help. Also works if you get reflux!

Hope you figure something out.

Taikoo · 11/04/2021 05:17

You should have seen a doctor by now so please be proactive and go now.

Being kept awake by a snorer who won't do anything about it is really horrible.

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