Does he not want to meet me?

[melononapear]

Been talking to a guy I met through OLD for about 6 weeks now. I have suggested meeting up already (at around the 2 week mark) but at the time he said no as he felt it was too soon. Fair enough. I didn't bring it up again as I thought I'd wait until he felt enough time has passed.

He implied that we would meet soon after he went back to work and said he would let me know when he had a day off but we are now three weeks on from that and still no attempt at making a plan to meet!

I'm getting a bit frustrated because I feel like he is either not that bothered about meeting me or actively avoiding it. I've grown to really like him and the more time goes on it feels a bit weird that I haven't met him yet. It also makes me wonder if he is a catfish or has no intention of ever meeting me 😞

I know 6 weeks isn't a huge amount of time and it did occur to me that maybe he was wanting to wait until restrictions lift a bit more but I just don't want to pin my hopes on someone who I still don't know if I actually have any real life chemistry with! I appreciate I may be overthinking things but I don't know whether to leave it or keep trying?

Totally normal for you to want to meet in person after 2 weeks. Also Ok for him to say 2 weeks is too soon, but after this long he's just messing around.

I'd bin him off.

If I was chatting to a woman online (I’m not), and everything was going well, I would absolutely push for a meet, somewhere public, just coffee.
I wouldn’t hang around for 6 weeks, that would make me think I was being strung along and the person wasn’t serious.

Most men would be chomping at the bit for a shag, so I think there's something else going on. Tell him to contact you when hes ready to meet up.

I wouldn't bother with this one. There's a reason he's not forthcoming. Also you could be disppointed when you meet, I've met quite a few men from OLD who are not actually what you perceive them to be, and the attraction that you thought would be there isn't. It's very easy to get excited about someone for them to not be as they seem.

The sooner you meet the better in my experience, so you can either see if there's a connection or not and be able to move on to the next.

You could try one more time (I personally couldn't be bothered at this stage). If he hesitates or cancels don't persue it.

So many men (including very genuine ones) think that they can mess you around with plans. I've had soooo many flakey ones, I don't give them lots of chances, I can't be bothered.

Its odd not to want to meet up... I’d ask him to meet up and if not I wouldnt bother any further. After all you want to be with someone who is so thrilled by you they want to meet you straightaway! He may be married or in a relationship.

My friend kept putting someone off in the hopes that she could lose weight. It was a confidence thing.

You already know this is suspicious by posting here. Listen to your gut. At best you've got yourself a penfriend - worst is married or a catfish. You can't really believe its normal that in 6 weeks you haven't managed to find a time when you can squeeze in at least a phone call?

The apps are full of bored married people wanting a bit of a risky thrill and of catfish. Only a day or so again I "caught a catfish" who was sending me "realtime" photos in addition to those on app but then within conversation said he hadn't got any tattoos- completely forgetting the pics he was using clearly showed arm tattoos 🤦‍♀️ when I pulled him on it he unmatched and blocked quicker than I could report him so waiting for him to come around again so I can 😆

There are many reasons why someone doesn't want to meet up not all because they are stringing you along or are married or a cat fish. People on here assumed the guy I was chatting with was a catfish or married and I was never going to meet him, as I said in my other post it turned out he was still very much a mess from his relationship breakdown. Had I done what people on here suggested I would never have met him. I met him, he was really nice, he wasn't ready and has gone to sort his life out. We are still in contact though.

He's a timewaster. You don't need to give any explanation to a stranger you have never met. You have no relationship, you are talking to an avatar with aphotograph, a persona that exists only in text (or other) message.

Block him and move on. I mean is @Isitreally17777's 'success' story really something you'd want? You could be spending time meeting someone who is available - emotionally as well as otherwise.

@ChristmasFluff I'm not saying mine was a success I'm just saying don't write people off as a catfish or a lying cheating bored husband because the chances are they probably aren't.

@ChristmasFluff why block him? It’s so rude, how would you feel if someone you had been talking to suddenly blocked you?

What's a catfish?

Agree that if thetr were nonplanss to meet after 2 weeks max, I'd cut him off.

Online dating is full of yomrwasters who ONLY want to talk. For the ego boost. I'd say it makes up half of the ppl on there tbh.

So you gotta be struct with weeding them out fast.

Fs, no plans, timewasters

I'd assume married, but would just say "been great chatting but there's no spark, all the best!"

Pre-Covid I'd chat to 3 at once then meet up with all of them within about a week.

Nah.. 6 weeks is way too long.
He's a time-waster.

He has someone else, so it's not convenient for him right now. Is he waiting for restrictions to lift, hence they go back to work too?
If he were genuine he would have jumped at the chance.
He's calling all the shots. Has he ever once asked what would you like to do and when is convenient for you?

2 weeks max? I take months to meet a guy from OLD.

@user77hjjy

2 weeks max? I take months to meet a guy from OLD.

Good grief why? Why spend months talking to someone on a computer when you might not even like them in person?

Unless you just enjoy chatting to them and aren't that fussed about ever meeting any of them...

I always ask to video chat straight off the bat, then meet within a couple of weeks latest a month. No point spending time chatting with a catfish been there done that !! . Had a guy who told me his camera didnt work , yet boasted about having the lastest i phone !! I always let them do the talking and make notes get the surname and check linkedin etc its easy to verify info online these days !! There are just too many catfish and bored marrieds who want an ego stroke on OLD

Problem with this 'really starting to like hom' thing. It's an illusion, because you don't know who he is yet. Your pheromones might totally clash in person.

Tell him it's time to meet or move on

*Good grief why? Why spend months talking to someone on a computer when you might not even like them in person?

Unless you just enjoy chatting to them and aren't that fussed about ever meeting any of them...*

Texting/ calling takes up much less time and effort than meeting.

I need to know enough about them before I meet them.

I got pulled into this. I thought the guy really liked me from the things he said. Recently he's posted on his married ex's Facebook page "Happy birthday gorgeous. Looking stunning as always. Have a great day" Followed by lips emojis. He really is a twonk. She lives in Australia and he's in Rotherham so it's safe. Pathetic!

Bin. By the way, u need to video chat early on, that weeds out quite a few wasters and gives you a good idea of whether there is spark or not. You aren't doing yourself any favours by discarding it so readily.

You don’t ‘really like him’, you like an idea of him you’ve constructed in your head. You don’t know him. His intentions for not meeting up don’t matter, the fact is it doesn’t suit you so you should bin him off. ‘I’d like to have met in person by now, this isn’t working for me so it’s best we stop talking. All the best’ is fine. Or you could block - who cares if it’s rude? You don’t owe him anything. I binned off a guy for similar reasons, we met once and it went well but in the ensuing 2 weeks he never asked again, despite us having the ‘would be great to meet again’ convo at the end of the first date. I told him I wasn’t going to hang around for him to ask me so let’s leave it and move on. I’m incredulous that anyone would bother to hang around for months chatting to a virtual stranger!