Would you leave a guy because of his kids?

[piddocktrumperiness]

Just that really. I'm in a new relationship, (7 months) with someone I really like; it's a healthy relationship and I'm happy. He has made it clear he'd like build a future with me. He however has a few children; one who has been struggling with several issues the last few months (some v sensitive) that very recently have ended up involving the police, school and other agencies. The children live with the other parent the other side of the country. He sees them during holidays.

I myself have children and have been divorced 10 years. Not sure how to navigate the situation here. I worry about bringing chaos to my kids that they didn't ask for.

It's not this man's fault of course- He's very worried about his kid and is trying everything to help them but again I'm not sure what to do, thinking ahead. I don't want to sound hypocritical either, as I am aware we all have some drama in our lives.

Any advice?

Of course it's enough reason to leave! It's a rod for your own back. He has no business dating just now when his kid's such a mess; needs to be putting everything bar making a living to support his kids to the back burner to deal with this.

My ex had 3 children to two diff mothers who also lived 3 hours away other side of the country. in the 4 years we were togther, the first two kids tried to kill herself after suffering a mental breakdown when his kids were 12 and 9, the 12 year old found her in this state blood everywhere as you can imagine what she tried to do, social services were involved Kids were placed with their father who I didn't live with at the time. Mother got better and got them back after a year. and then the young mother got married again and had another two kids with hubby no.3 and decided she didn't want her other kid (their child) no more and sent her to live full time with her dad. From
The stress of it all my now ex ending up man handling the then 12 year old and bruising her so all court and social were now on him. I could not for one second go back to that relationship my heart broke for these kids not their fault at all but the stress of it all over the years took it's toll on our relationship and my own dc and we ended up splitting. And we didn't even live togther ! I'm not sayin this will happen to you but when there are multiple ex's and multiple kids there is always be multiple drama! and after giving my all I just couldn't and wouldn't want
To do it the whole time was so draining. Wha I'm saying is take it from my experience if could have run away in the first few months and not looked back I would've !!

** I should add the first two kids MOTHER tried to take her own life not the kids sorry! Typo ! 🙄

I would leave and not get involved in that whole situation, but then good luck finding a bloke without children who would then put up with your children in a relationship.

* I should explain that from the stress of it all.. his 12 year old dd started hitting her father in an argument and he held her arms back to restrain her apparently(I wasn't there) and left bruise marks, her mother who hates him had a field day got him arrested etc wanted to investigate pressed charges etc. I'm sorry but I couldn't cope with this drama in my life it was horrific!

Why are you so desperate to talk about his problematic child and not your own children in this situation? Do they not have a voice in this car crash?

2 exes plus dc is a nightmare ime. You can't fix /improve his /their /your relationship by sticking around. Raise your own dc op..

He might have concocted a story about being cheated on to make him seem like a reasonable family man. You need that verifying, don't just take his word for it.

I think the fact that you are considering the impact on your family moving forward speaks for you. The longer you stay in the relationship the harder it will be for you to leave if this situation deteriorates. Also do you want a long term relationship where you live completely separate lives... you have to consider your needs in this too.

Take the relationship no further op, it is too complicated.

No way!

OP, I just wanted to agree with TeeBee's advice. If you enjoy his company, carry on seeing him, but don't get too involved with his specific problem and keep your own home.