Would you cancel this break?

[MoonfacedMilksop]

I had a weekend in a posh hotel booked for last year to celebrate my 10th wedding anniversary but DH and I split at the end of 2019 and then it was cancelled due to lockdown. The hotel has offered to let me use the booking instead for the weekend of 23rd April at a holiday let in the grounds with a private pool, hot tub and sauna but it would be self catering rather than hotel. If I want the hotel they can’t do it at a weekend until 2022 or can fully refund.

I’ve been seeing a lovely man for about 7 months and we decided we’d go together as our first time away. I’ve been really looking forward to it and wouldn’t have anyone else I’d want to go with. We’ve booked a couple of (outside) restaurants and was looking forward to having loadsa really chilled

What do you want to do?

Why not get the refund and use the money towards something more suited to you and new partner?

I'm not sure what the problem is?
If you like the place go, if not, get a refund.

Sorry, sent too soon.
looking forward to having a really chilled time, the most amount of one on one time we’ve had together so far and finally what could feel like a bit of normality.

But, he’s just received his Covid vaccine appointment and it’s for 4.30 on 23rd. The hotel is a good 2 hour drive from him so it will mean we’ll have to cancel dinner for the first night. There’s also a good chance traffic will be bad as we’re travelling from very touristy areas so could take even longer. Mainly though he fully admits he is a nightmare when he’s ill. He said that when he was married his wife would stay in a hotel when he was ill as she couldn’t tolerate it 😂.

Should I just suck it up and cancel it? Go on my own? Go with boyfriend and realise that he is in fact an absolute arsehole and never want to see him again?

Why would you want to cancel? I don't really understand what the problem is

Can they accommodate you at a different time in the self catering part of the hotel? Sooner than they'd be able to within the hotel?

He can re-book the test. Call them up and ask for a different slot

Cant he get a different appointment for his jab? As long as he is letting them know its not a problem surely?

The self catering can’t offer any other dates. Can do that date for self catering, get a refund or hotel for original date but next year.

He doesn’t want to cancel jab as it says to please not contact unless you genuinely cannot make the appointment.

Dont even know why youd need to cancel dinner for the first night never mind the whole break away tbh...and i wouldn't want to start a relationship with a man who's so unbearable when hes ill that his wife used to stay in a hotel..that's fucking ridiculous.

The easiest option seems to be a refund but go with your instincts.

I think you are overthinking. Either he rebooks, which is really easy to do and by far the best solution, or you just miss one small part of the weekend. Most people aren't really ill, or indeed ill at all, after the vaccination but if he is an arsehole when on vacation you may as well find out as soon as you can.

I'd get a refund AND sack the bloke off.

'Nightmare when he is ill' screams manchild to me! You don't need a break away to see that red flag waving!

@Unanananana

I'd get a refund AND sack the bloke off.

'Nightmare when he is ill' screams manchild to me! You don't need a break away to see that red flag waving!

I do tend to agree though that anyone who says this about themselves is suspect. Does sound like setting out a stall for the future.

I would take the refund definitely and book somewhere else with him after he is okay after his jab

I’d cancel and get a refund. I wouldn’t want to go to a place I’d originally booked to celebrate a previous relationship. If your new partner did then act (as he has warned you he will) like an arsehole, you will end up hating the place forever!

Why don’t you let him stay for the weekend. If he then gets ill and behaves badly at least it didn’t cost you money

He can cancel and re-book you know, I did.

Both DH and I felt rubbish the day after our AZ jab and that's the type he's very likely to get, therefore I'd certainly not plan an expensive weekend away on those dates unfortunately. Can you get a refund, or the s/c place any sooner than 2022 ?

Major red flag there OP if the comment about the wife staying in a hotel wasn't an attempt at humour.

Gosh, cancel the man child not the holiday. Being a touch unwell makes him so unbearable that he partner has to stay in a hotel. Wtf? Run now!

I’m not sure about the booking - would probably err on the side of cancelling.

However I’d really like to know what he does when he’s ill that’s so bad!

I felt pretty terrible in the evening after I had my jab . I was better the next day but not 100%. I wouldn’t have wanted to be away anywhere . And I make the minimum of fuss when I feel unwell.

I'd go on my own, it'll be lovely.

A holiday is a genuine reason to move the vaccine, he should just ring and move it to the day you come back.

If I were your friend, I would feel really icky about going to the same hotel as you'd originally booked to celebrate a 10 yr anniversary with your ex-husband. New relationship, new special places. It's unimaginative and a bit tacky. I'd feel like a stand-in.

Agree with others. Get a refund and spend the money on somewhere with no past associations.

I'd go on my own without the man!

A few books on the kindle, a box of wine, and a few podcasts. Get pizza delivered in and scoff it all to myself.