Hi. As someone who's just had her heart broken by a lying older man not over his ex and messaging another woman he claimed was stalking him behind my back, I can't relate.
I have had to do some major soul searching. I've had to do alot of thinking and I've needed alot of peace and quiet to process things. He conned me by being really stable and loving to start with. Spoiling me. Fell in love fast. Then slowly he started putting me down and more and more signs around other women were appearing. I confronted him about it and ofcourse he ran away, dumped me. Tried crawling back a week ago and ran away again as soon as I tried to discuss his intentions.
This won't be everyone's cup of tea but I rang a psychic. She helped me more than anyone else because she said the following.
What happiness are you getting out of this?
He's boring isn't he?
He's 47 he's lived his life. You are 15 years younger.
It's all true. He is boring but boys himself up. He's untrustworthy and he lies and massively lacks respect for me. Just as this guy does for you.
At this point although its hard you've got to get all that stress out.
I personally write angry emails or even thoughtful ones. I save them to my drafts. It's like a journal for me to get out how I feel and not send it to the idiot that hurt me. Because the best thing you can do is be silent. I've been silent! Because the minute you start texting them or asking them if they ever cared etc you are forgetting your own worth! You must never grovel or look like you care. Because you make it so easy for them to turn it on you if they see you looking weak.
Secondly think about your own morals. In my case I want loyality. It's so important to me. I also realised his obsession with his ex is a massive problem that's stopping him committing. I didn't want to be in her shadow. It was making me ill.
Even though I really struggled when he dumped me when he came back I realised how stressed he made me. I thought I missed him as I was crying and up and down feeling strong, then having down days. But when he text me my heart sank and for the three days he was back all the anxiety came back. I realised how unhappy I was in that world where I was insecure and my gut was screaming at me.
I know from other relationships that I'm not insecure until there's a reason. I trust and don't have issues. It was literally this man.
He let his manly urges ruin your relationship. You owe it to yourself to be happy. To think thank god I'm out of that. You are free now.
Enjoy music.
Nature.
Books.
Self-care.
Friendships.
Coffee in the park.
A good Netflix series.
I've had to keep going. I have little kids and I need to be realistic and strong for them. The last thing I need is a messed up unreliable man in our lives.
Good luck and if you need a chat inbox me! X