Been speaking to a guy for about 3 weeks and it’s going amazingly. We’ve been on about 7 dates now and things have really gone well - he’s deleted dating apps, told me he’s never been so happy, he feels I’m his best friend already, he can’t wait to do certain things with me etc etc. He told his mates “I’m gonna marry this girl”. We watch a tv show together every evening online if we’re not together. He has introduced me to his mum, he’s bought me flowers, he text me saying really cute things like “miss you” and “I always just want to be with you and speak to you”. He even started saying “adore you”. We’ve had a chat about relationships and he said he’s not interested in flings and hook ups, he just wants someone to “do life with” and settle down with now.
The other day, I met a couple of his friends for the first time. Some of them were teasing me about my “boyfriend” and I made a passing comment like yeah I really like him and eventually this’d be amazing. I think the friends were quite drunk and this got back to him, and they were apparently saying stuff like “awww go on, just ask her out, she really wants to be your gf”.
This didn’t sit well with him and he said it “really freaked him out” and “I don’t want to get into a relationship with someone I’ve known for 2/3 weeks”. I explained it probably looked bad but it wasn’t how it looked from my side - but also I reacted to this not greatly at first, as I took this as he didn’t want a relationship at all, so I was sort of saying “you can’t say all this stuff to someone if you don’t intend on being with them?!”
We cleared the air, I thought, as he explained he wants to get to know someone inside-out before jumping into a relationship with them. He sees himself with me but he doesn’t want to rush and wants to just enjoy the process and have fun. I said from experience I’ve always just been with someone if I want to be, regardless of time, but I can also see it from his point of view. All fine, I thought, completely understandable. I explained that seemed completely fair and everything was fine.
But since then, for the last few days (not seen each other), he’s been REALLY off. He’s being polite but texting me sort of like a mate? Texting really slow, not saying any cute things/using any emojis, hardly asking anything about my day - he’d often double text as well saying something cute or sending a funny video or picture. But nothing. No flirting. Just bog standard replies.
I have asked him if everything is okay and he’s insisting I’m panicking and everything is fine. He said about the whole thing that it’s “forgotten about”. So I haven’t asked again - but things really aren’t fine??? I know it might sound silly but his tone is completely different. Also, for the first time in weeks, he said no to watching tv because he wanted to chat to his mates last night (I’d obviously be completely fine with this usually - and I was fine with it - but just seemed a bit of a coincidence it was last night?).
It’s made me feel really sick and sad all weekend, and now I don’t know how to play this. I’m trying to text less but then I just don’t hear from him. Do I text him slower, do I just back off, or do I act just as keen?... I’m meant to be seeing him tomorrow too, but he hasn’t brought it up yet..?
The whole dynamic is just completely different now and I really want to reassure him there’s no pressure from my side - as I think he thinks there is - but don’t want to bring it up again. I now 10000% understand where he’s coming from and I just want to enjoy it again. But I have no idea what to do, I’m really worried I have ruined it by seeming too needy?☹️