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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He couldn't even buy his daughter an Easter egg

54 replies

gonebeyondcaring · 03/04/2021 18:09

So..... my ex came round to see our daughter today for an hour. I presumed he wanted to see her to take her a little Easter egg round. But he didn't. He made a big deal about taking his other two children (from another marriage) out to buy them Easter eggs so they could pick them. He said he had already bought her an Easter egg with me because he gives me money for her. When I mentioned he also pays his other ex wife money but still took them out shopping to buy them one he said I'm psycho. He could have easily picked her up a little one for 99p. Actually a little upset about this right now even though it's so trivial I probably shouldn't be :(

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Whatapalavaa · 03/04/2021 18:13

He sounds like a waste of space. I'm also the daughter of one. Just keep loving her lots. Flowers

Happycat1212 · 03/04/2021 18:13

Hmm my ex has never bought any of our 4 kids Easter eggs 🤷‍♀️

gonebeyondcaring · 03/04/2021 18:15

If he hasn't bought any of his children Easter eggs I wouldn't be bothered. But he went out of his way to make sure his sons had one but not our dc

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Lipz · 03/04/2021 18:15

Aww poor child. Yes, Easter eggs can be so cheap, wouldn't have killed him to pick up something or bring her like the other children. It doesn't matter how much he gives you, he's her dad and he should have arranged an egg from him, you are not together and I'm sure you made sure to have one for her from you. They've been in the shops since Valentines day.

gonebeyondcaring · 03/04/2021 18:16

@Whatapalavaa

He sounds like a waste of space. I'm also the daughter of one. Just keep loving her lots. Flowers
Yea I agree, I've obviously bought her some and some little eggs for an egg hunt. I'll make sure she enjoys it, it's the first Easter she knows what going on Smile
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DinosaurDiana · 03/04/2021 18:16

Hopefully your DD will work out what a test he is one day.
You just keep being a great mum, she will notice 💐

DinosaurDiana · 03/04/2021 18:16
  • twat.
Lindy2 · 03/04/2021 18:17

That's pretty horrible of him.

He hasn't bought her an egg. He's paid you some maintenance but that isn't buying her a gift of any kind.

At least he is an ex and you clearly made the right decision to no longer be with him.

I hope you and your DD have a lovely Easter together and that you have your own chocolate eggs. There's no point letting other people's poor behaviour spoil what you do.

gonebeyondcaring · 03/04/2021 18:17

@DinosaurDiana

Hopefully your DD will work out what a test he is one day. You just keep being a great mum, she will notice 💐
I know there so cheap. Thank you Thanks
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DianaT1969 · 03/04/2021 18:17

You are right. It's trivial. He's an ex. You can only control your own parenting. I'm sure you bought your daughter a chocolate egg.
If you plan to go through life comparing his treatment with his other children, you'll be on a joyous road. Who knows why men with children by multiple relationships appear to favour some more than others? Maybe they invest time where access is less toxic. Maybe they do it because of the children's age, or from a sense of guilt. In any case, forget it and enjoy your Easter weekend with your family.

Ardvark111 · 03/04/2021 18:18

That's terrible,!! Your child will in time and with age draw her own conclusions of him,!!

catmumandhumanmum · 03/04/2021 18:18

That's rubbish, he probably forgot to and is being mean to you.

MyAltAccount · 03/04/2021 18:19

You're not wrong to feel upset; I would too in your position.

Being a father is more than absolving responsibility to someone else!!

I suspect he forgot to get her one and then attempted to place the blame on you rather than admit he screwed up.

needadvice54321 · 03/04/2021 18:19

Well he sounds like an utter dick, doesn't he? My ex does a lot of stuff like this, goes out of his way for one set of children but wouldn't do the same for DS. Sadly DS now knows about it and at 17 has little time for him anymore. His loss, but I do feel sorry for DS

Happycat1212 · 03/04/2021 18:19

It’s normally down to how they feel about the mother ime, maybe him and his ex wife have a better relationship? It shouldn’t matter but ime it’s usually what it comes down to and how they feel about the mother. How did you know he bought his other children? I’m assuming your daughter doesn’t know so forget about it

WeeMadArthur · 03/04/2021 18:20

I remember one year my absent father came to pick us up at Easter, he had some Easter Eggs in the boot but when I asked he said they weren’t for us, they were for his niece and nephew who we were going to see. So we had to sit there whilst he handed their eggs over whilst knowing he hadn’t bothered to get us one. He said it was because we were too old, but they were 1 year younger and 2 years older than me!

needadvice54321 · 03/04/2021 18:21

@DianaT1969

You are right. It's trivial. He's an ex. You can only control your own parenting. I'm sure you bought your daughter a chocolate egg. If you plan to go through life comparing his treatment with his other children, you'll be on a joyous road. Who knows why men with children by multiple relationships appear to favour some more than others? Maybe they invest time where access is less toxic. Maybe they do it because of the children's age, or from a sense of guilt. In any case, forget it and enjoy your Easter weekend with your family.
It's interesting diana as my ex puts more effort in with the children who's Mum he can't stand!
gonebeyondcaring · 03/04/2021 18:22

@Happycat1212

It’s normally down to how they feel about the mother ime, maybe him and his ex wife have a better relationship? It shouldn’t matter but ime it’s usually what it comes down to and how they feel about the mother. How did you know he bought his other children? I’m assuming your daughter doesn’t know so forget about it
His ex and him haven't spoken for years and have had several court cases for access etc so I don't think it's because he gets on with her. He actually told me himself he'd taken them. I'd probably have preferred not to know tbh
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Happycat1212 · 03/04/2021 18:23

It’s probably as needadvice54321 and putting in more effort with the one he doesn’t get on with

needadvice54321 · 03/04/2021 18:24

@gonebeyondcaring , I actually feel like we have the same Ex, mine doesn't hold back about telling me about the effort he makes with his other children. I'm pleased DS is now 17 and I don't have to listen to it anymore!

gonebeyondcaring · 03/04/2021 18:24

@Happycat1212

It’s probably as needadvice54321 and putting in more effort with the one he doesn’t get on with
It would appear that way. I know it's just an Easter egg I just didn't need to know about his little shopping spree with his other children.
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gonebeyondcaring · 03/04/2021 18:25

[quote needadvice54321]@gonebeyondcaring , I actually feel like we have the same Ex, mine doesn't hold back about telling me about the effort he makes with his other children. I'm pleased DS is now 17 and I don't have to listen to it anymore! [/quote]
I have a long time to go till then Hmm

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needadvice54321 · 03/04/2021 18:26

@gonebeyondcaring , it doesn't matter how small the thing is, it's the principle. IMO the fact it's something so small and cheap actually annoys me more , surely he could have stretched to another egg!

needadvice54321 · 03/04/2021 18:27

I started leaving DS and his Dad to sort stuff out from about 15 years old. Huge relief to be honest

gonebeyondcaring · 03/04/2021 18:27

@WeeMadArthur

I remember one year my absent father came to pick us up at Easter, he had some Easter Eggs in the boot but when I asked he said they weren’t for us, they were for his niece and nephew who we were going to see. So we had to sit there whilst he handed their eggs over whilst knowing he hadn’t bothered to get us one. He said it was because we were too old, but they were 1 year younger and 2 years older than me!
Aw that's awful 😞 I'm so glad my dd is too young to notice at the moment. I just worry that as she gets older she will, but I can't control that can I :(
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