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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can guys think like this?

34 replies

ElishaP · 03/04/2021 08:45

I’m dating this guy on and off for about 2 years now. I love being in his company and so does he. For a year now I have not been contraceptive as it doesn’t agree with me. And we had been having sx for a year with our it and never became pregnant. But now I have been tracking carefully for three months now and each time he had came around it’s always been near my ovulation or on my ovulation. I don’t know if he is purposely trying to get me pregnant or what??? On my ovulation date I had stop him in mid stream and made an confirm that I’m not on the pill but he said don’t worry and carried on the pulled out. But I think his up to something. As I haven’t heard from for 2 and half weeks after that happened. Please what advice can someone give.

OP posts:
JustAVerySmallVoice · 03/04/2021 09:02

How on earth would he know when you are ovulating?

Awomanneedingadvice · 03/04/2021 09:05

Sorry OP you are thinking wayyyyyy to much into this. How on earth would he know you are ovulating?!

donquixotedelamancha · 03/04/2021 09:11
  1. Stop having unprotected sex. Just use a fucking condom- yes, I know he won't want to but you need a spine.
  1. In the middle of sex he's only thinking of one thing, so of course he may take risks. At all other times he has no clue when you are ovulating (and you can't be sure, even sex at other times is risky).
  1. Have a proper conversation and sort out your relationship because second guessing how he feels appears to be sending you batty (personally someone who only really contacted me for sex would not cut it after 2 years).
Isitreally17777 · 03/04/2021 09:19

You've been dating on and off for two years and your having unprotected sex. HmmConfused seriously use a condom.

TheWitchersWife · 03/04/2021 09:19

If you have only recently started tracking when you ovulate then I'm not sure why or how you think he'd been tracking it for longer, especially as it seems you don't see much if each other.
Use a condom if you don't want a child.

category12 · 03/04/2021 09:20

What you're doing here is gambling.

Do you want to get pregnant?

If you don't, insist on condoms and stop being so foolish.

StephenBelafonte · 03/04/2021 09:21

Does he own his own home? If so, keep having unprotected sex Wink he might put you on the mortgage.

But seriously, i'll also ask - how does he know you're ovulating?

cerealgamechanger · 03/04/2021 09:21

I can't believe you're having unprotected sex! Use a condom if you're that scared of getting pregnant.

ElishaP · 03/04/2021 09:59

He knows when my period comes on

OP posts:
category12 · 03/04/2021 10:02

I really don't think most blokes are hugely aware of when women are most fertile, even if they do know when you're on.

It sounds like you would quite like him to get you pregnant, really.

StephenBelafonte · 03/04/2021 10:02

He knows when my period comes on

Again, how?

gobbynorthernbird · 03/04/2021 10:09

You're very passively going to end up as a single parent. Is this what you want?

LittleBirdBlu · 03/04/2021 10:15

For goodness sake, it sounds to me like you want to get pregnant, and you are looking for some kind of confirmation that he would be ok with it. You will end up pregnant if you carry on with things the way you are, and most definitely a single parent. He doesn't want a loving relationship with you, he wants a shag with no commitment. Please wake up and Fitch him! Then you'll be free to find someone who wants the same as you.

StephenBelafonte · 03/04/2021 10:16

I bet you any money The OP will be back here in 4 years time with 2 small children from "contraception failure" complaining her partner won't put her on the mortgage.

Mum4Fergus · 03/04/2021 10:22

"I don’t know if he is purposely trying to get me pregnant or what?"

"But I think his up to something."

And what is your part in all of this?!

Personally I think you are the issue here...quite literally an accident waiting to happen.

Redruby2020 · 03/04/2021 10:43

Yeah, I would say don't ever expect just because the guy you are sleeping with, knows obviously lol, that neither of you are using any contraception, that he will then be okay when you turn around and say you are pregnant.

CirqueDeMorgue · 03/04/2021 11:02

Have you posted about this before by any chance? Lol.

MarshmallowAra · 03/04/2021 11:08

Can guys think like what?

Are you asking if he's ok with getting you pregnant? Are you asking if he's going to form a family with you if you get pregnant?

Only he knows (and some guys think one thing but react totally differently when their gf actually falls pregnant) and you're being intimate with him, so you should be able to ask him and discuss this with him!

Colourmeclear · 03/04/2021 11:09

What makes you think he's up to something? Do you not trust him? Is the relationship working for you? Could you have a conversation about contraception with him openly?

He probably has no idea how the menstrual cycle works but does know if he comes round when you're not on your period the opportunity for sex is greater (assuming you don't have sex on your period).

KirstenBlest · 03/04/2021 11:09

FFS, get some self-respect. If you want to shag someone you have what seems a casual relationship with, use a condom.

MarshmallowAra · 03/04/2021 11:11

Just ask him how he'll feel free and what his plans are if you fall pregnant.

(Bearing in mind some men have been known to change their mind if a pregnancy happens).

You shouldn't be having unprotected sex with someone without having had this discussion.

MarshmallowAra · 03/04/2021 11:14

Also withdrawal is not reliable. Some men have sperm in their pre ejaculate.

And don't think that because it hasn't happened so far it won't happen; even healthy twenty five year olds with no fertility problems have a 25% chance of getting pregnant every cycle. So it can happen that people get away with not using contraception for several cycles but then bam. The more cycles you have sex around ovulation time, the more likelihood you have of getting pregnant.

aFaintSeashellAroma · 03/04/2021 11:15

Wait what 😂 he’s trying to get you pregnant by having sex unprotected with you.. but your not trying to get pregnant by him, by having sex with him unprotected.

Just wear a condom ffs

PenisBeakerIsMyFavouriteMuppet · 03/04/2021 11:17

You’re having unprotected sex, AKA trying for a baby.

Madness.

sashh · 03/04/2021 11:18

I really don't think most blokes are hugely aware of when women are most fertile, even if they do know when you're on.

Not consciously but men find women more attractive when they are most fertile.