Yesterday I attended my grandfathers (my dads) funeral.
I hadn't spoken to him or seen him in 20 odd years.
There is a lot of back story to this but I will keep it brief.
My dad is a sibling of four I will call them 1 2 3 and 4.
1 and 3 always stuck together and 2 and 4 always stuck together.
2 (my dad) has done well for himself.... three businesses all bought built and sold for a profit. Good life family etc.
1 done for flashing, his. wife died of alcoholism 8 years ago ( she had an awful life with him)
3 struck off NHS register for reasons unknown.., always spent mummy and daddy's money, married with two kids (daddy's girl)
4 committed suicide 8 years ago
I'm a granddaughter to the man of the funeral we attended and I hated him.
I was asked to bake a cake and create an emblem of his time in the special forces for the gathering after which I begrudged but I did anyway.
This whole shit show has made me mad in that he was made out to be a massive family man when sons 2 (my dad) was f@@ked off and son 4 killed him self to get away.
Never have I ever felt so ashamed or embarrassed to be in a room where a speech mentioned me by name but the man that lay in that coffin refused to acknowledge me as a grandchild because I was female.
My dad was told upon son 4's
suicide "the wrong son is dead now f@@k off"
This was my grandfather .... a man who never knew me nor me him.
But I was expected to acknowledge him ..... because he died.
AIBU to feel angry that I was made to try and respect him and send him off when he never acknowledged me in RL