I think I might be getting gaslit

[KingAndQueen]

Just that. I can't believe I'm typing this. I thought I had finally met a good and decent DP. Lately he's been so angry. I put it down to my own mental health struggles and his admittance he can't cope with me as I'm always 'depressed'. I'm trying, I really am. Today I was prescribed Prozac.

This morning I woke up early and made us both breakfast as usual. I had to nip out for a bit to collect said Prozac and as I went to leave he completely ignored me. I said bye, ignored.

I got into car and started driving. Such is my anxiety that I called him to apologise (I somehow felt it was my fault there was some animosity, even though I knew I hadn't done anything wrong, I just wanted to put it right). He hung up on me.

Tbh these types of events right now send me over the edge. Instead of carrying on driving, I turned and came home. I just wanted everything to be ok and I didn't understand. Do I sound unhinged?

He was incandescent with rage. His eyes were so scary, booming with anger. He said I was just to leave him fucking alone. I said I didn't understand, all I did was make breakfast and say bye.

At this point he got up and threw his laptop.

I'm sitting here numb and with tears rolling down my face. I've had an abusive relationship before and to me, this feels like the beginning of another.

I can't understand what I did wrong, yet here I am apologising, driving back because of my anxiety, to ensure he is ok. This is not ok?

Please help, I'm a mess

Lady you are way stronger than you’re giving yourself credit for.
You’ve realised this is not ok and just need support to see through the next steps.
Collect your prescription today if you can safely do so then make a concrete plan to leave.
Even if you feel friends have been shot please reach out to them, they may surprise you.
Definitely as PP suggests reach out to WA too.

M, 60 here. My word, he is an unpleasant person! It is definitely NOT you, no one normal is spiteful like that, for any reason. You won't change him, so just get out as quickly and cleanly as you can. The world really is full of nice people, don't let these past experiences stop you having some happiness in the future.

This isn’t normal. You’re in an abusive relationship

Have a look at this thread. Is the OP's post familiar? I thought she was reposting at first.

LTB. At high speed.

What on earth

OP you poor thing.
It’s not your fault.

If you are having mental health issues and low self esteem, you might unconsciously attract abusive types of men because you are vulnerable. That doesn’t make it your fault at all. It just makes you the right ‘type’ for certain nasty people who would still be nasty if they weren’t in a relationship with you. Please be very careful. My ex was abusive too and the abuse also started with suddenly shouting/throwing things. It was his way to intimidate me. A man who loves you wouldn’t do that to you. Please get rid of him.

Sending you a hug

He's obviously not the man for you. Taking this as an isolated incident, he was obviously in a mood about something. You left but then rang him and then returned, both which were totally unnecessary - you were just running a quick errand. He probably just needed space. His reaction was OTT.
However, this isn't an isolated incident. Sounds like he doesn't care much for you.
How long have you been together? Whose home is it?

I'm pretty sure your mental health will get a lot better once you dump this abusive arsehole.

It's not you!! It's him!