This is something very new for me so please be patient.
Ive always liked reading forums like this one but never before felt the need to ask advice on one.
We've been married since I was 25 and Im coming up 40 this year. We have two lovely boys of 12 and 10 and I really thought my life was settled.
This time in lockdowns, though, has changed things and made me feel insecure and really worried about things.
I really dont know where to start.
Before all this pandemic he used to go out for a lad's night once, sometimes twice, every week. He always used to pay a lot of attention to his appearance before going out and always looked as if he had "stepped out of the tailors window" as my Dad used to say.
This didnt really bother me as he is a hard worker and puts a lot of effort into being a good father.
So he was a good man but Im a bit ashamed to say he seemed to have stopped finding me attractive. We still slept in the same bed but I can count on one hand the number of times we had sex over a long period ...maybe 2 years.
I did try my best to do something about this. I tried to make myself more attractive. I slimmed down to a size 10 wore "nice" things to bed and I tried so hard to make him feel special.
So this was ongoing until the lockdowns started.
Then a change seemed to come over him. He became really irritable with me and the boys and was always checking his phone.
I managed to sneak a look at his phone because I began to think he might have been having an affair.
There arent any suspicious text messages but his internet history has really made me feel shocked sick to my stomach. He has been visiting what are two gay websites. One called fabguys and the other called squirt. They are dating sites and I really dont know what to do about it.
He has been visiting both of them lots of times.
Ive prayed it isnt what it looks like and I cant get the courage to confront him.