Has anyone else encountered the phenomenon that is the "office wife"?

[Swedes2Turnips1]

Tell me all you know.

a what?

An office wife. A woman who works with your DH/DP and is a sort of wife.

Yes, I have an office husband!

We refer to him as my office husband because we lunch together most days and email eachother throughout the day, make eachother tea etc. He is my closest work friend and he does stuff for me if DP isn't about.

I don't know if this is what you mean though!

Do you mean the sort of thing where a couple of colleagues are close and mutually supportive and generally on the same wavelength and even maybe flirt a little but its not (and never will be, because they've too much sense) an affair?

Some us even have office husbands
Dh had an office mum until she retired. They all miss her

A 'having an affair wife' or a personal assistant/does everything for him wife?

As Emsmum says (and claphamlauren), but it's comradeship and a shared view on office politics for us, really no flirting involved

Yes - but he is MARRIED to her now!!

I take it your dp has one and you're uncomfortable with it? Do you feel that there is a danger of the professional boundaries being crossed?

Not directly ie I haven't been an office wife.

But yes, I know lots of them. Female colleagues in dependent relationships with male colleagues (superiors). Ho hum. Can get very unhealthy IMO.

Dh's office wife is called Murtle! She's lovely, although I thinks she's more of an office mother, than wife. At least I hope he compares her more to his mother than his wife!

I was about to say that I suppose a woman could have an office husband.

Usually a very close PA.

No, just the phenomenon of the "office bit-on-the-side". Hardly a phenomenon I guess.

Skytvaddict -

My office husband is the same grade as me at work, impossibly gorgeous and there is a bit of a flirt from time to time, mainly when I need an ego boost! However, in the main, he is more like a best bud than anything else.

When I had a job I had an office husband

We used to sneak off for "meetings" where we would complain about work and gossip
His boyfriend and my boyfriend were both fine about it

get to meet her immediately. Make her your friend too. It could get too cosy for them both if you dont barge in the middle. As they dont have the rl washing ironing, cleaning etc to sort out, its the ideal marriage and might go one step further.

Mine is on the same grade too Clapham
We go for coffee every month and keep each other cheerful in adversity
In the light of other people's experiences of this phenomenon I think mine would be more correctly styled office buddy really

DP has a female colleague who is 30 and single. She spends most of the day (apparently) interrupting his work and constantly chatting to him, asking to see family photos etc. He says he finds it totally exhausting and when she is off work he says he gets loads more done. Is this an office wife? Even when he is working from home, she is constantly on the company instant messaging system droning on. I would not have behaved like this when single.

i've got an office 'dad' which is lovely, he pats my pregnant bump, tells me off for working too hard, takes my son to feed the goldfish on the days i have to take him in iwth me during holidays etc.

my dp does appear to have an office wife, she kinda looks after him but she's lovely and happily married so i grit my jealous teeth and bear it. if she was 19 and beautiful i might grit them less and shout more.

oh right, DH has a colleague, female, that he is friends with , it couldn't bother me less... i am glad he has someone at work to have down time with and to chill with.....i have met her, we buy each others DCs birthday presents, it is really not an issue

if you have a problem with her or the friendship, then you need to get to the root of it

a friendship with someone of the opposite sex is not automatically an affair, or the potential for one

He is a consultant and she is a fairly junior graduate employee of the company he spends 3 days a week at.

Lulu - It doesn't bother me really - but I was reading another thread about an office affair and wondering if I am too complacent. My ex husband told me when we were breaking up that I was not jealous enough.