Has anyone else encountered the phenomenon that is the "office wife"?

[Swedes2Turnips1]

Tell me all you know.

No, that's a stalkerish pest Swede
I'd be concerned about her motives too
Maybe dp needs a little help with unobtrusively freezing her out

Marina - maybe. She even brings him back presents from holiday.... bit weird isn't it?

Sweedes2Turnips1 - that is not an office wife, that is an office SLUT!! Or the office, insecure friendless person whom your husband has been kind to on occasion and she has attached herself to him. She could just be lonely. Now you see, here is my stand on it - office husband, thats fine - i had one, hes one of my best friends, so now is his other half who was part of his office (well laboratory) hareem. If my DP were to have an office wife - totally unacceptable, but thats just me, i trust him implicitly but i am very insecure and i couldn't bear for my DP to have a female friend.

I would ask your hubby to have a word, alternatively, could you not show up at the office and mark your territory as it were, turn up for a lunch date etc. Make sure she sees, it would be even better of course if she were "stood up" so he could have lunch with his real life wife. Again, if this is the office lonely person, as apposed to the office slut, then it might be nice if you could meet her, you may become friends (you clearly have the same taste in men!) and then fix her up with one of your single male friends. Sorted!

i don;t think you should necceasarily transfer problems from your last relationship into this one.. jealousy is a nasty and destructive emotion, far better to be able to trust your DH..

Can I ask how old your dp is though swedes?
It occurred to me that if she seems terribly interested in him as a father he might possibly remind her of his own
I am trusting by nature too, I think there are worse things to be in life

Many customers think I am married to my boss because we are about the same age and I am constantly hassling him about whether he has sorted things out! Or put up a shelf of charged his phone.... No way would I take on any other wifely duties!

I have an office husband. We are the same age, have children similar ages (he's always getting my dd's hand downs for his dd) and we frequently slope off to the pub together on Fridays.

If he wasn't a bloke, I don't think anyone would notice. We just get on well.

I should make clear - that I am not a bit mistrustful of my man. I am merely trying to understand her motivation. Is it normal office stuff or should I be concerned about her.

Swedes, i dont think you should be concerned as such because your husband has made it clear to you he is uncomfortable about it. Men are shit at sorting these things out, i guess he should just go down the road of not having lunch, not answering emails etc, just cool things off. That way, she will get the hint.

stleger - isn't that nagging?

Yes it is nagging! Or being a 'personal assistant ' to my very busy boss.

I read it as Officers Wife, because that is indeed a phenomenon that has to be seen to be believed.

not all of them BTW, before I get jumped on by Officers wives

My DP has had a couple of office wifes, they are usually on the same work level (thus having more than one as career has progressed) and they are kind of bitching buddies if you like.
I usually have to stop him after a few minutes of 'and guess what soso and so said when I told her that'
I just accept it and thank god im not any of his colleagues that are too polite to tell him to shut up when he starts rambling on about ME! (they have said they are sick of hearing about everything I do).
Ive got my own office wife as my best work friend is female! There have been male ones in the past, luckily DP isnt the jealous type, cos really it is just your comrade in arms whilst at work.

Isn't it just a friend at work?,I don't get the term.

I've always generally get on well with the males (god there is no good word is there? boy, fella, bloke....).

But just for a laugh, to make work more enjoyable, ditto for any girls I get on well with.
Think I'm missing something.
Is it different from this? This office wife business

Dunno, I must be the office lesbian then seeing all my pals are girls at the mo

mmm, my dh had one at his old job and she happily informed me at their christmas do that ' dh talks about ds and cars,but never mentions you.' I was glammed up and she spend about five mins looking me up and down also (thank god i wasnt wearing joggers with food down them)

Think there is one thing between being friends and another between trying to undermine/interfere in the relationship between a couple.

I told dh what she had said, and he kept his distance and labelled her as a trouble maker

to those of you who have office husbands/buddies/close male colleagues....do your OHs know how friendly you are with them, or do you keep it low-key?

My DH had one in a previous job. I didn't mind - I had close male colleagues myself - until I came to work at the same company (different floors). On our wedding anniversary I phoned him to say did he want to have lunch (bear in mind I hadn't seen him for a couple of days as he had been abroad on a work trip and come straight to the office from the airport) and he said 'No, I can't I told X I'd have lunch with her because she is having a boyfriend crisis.'
I found it hard to like her after that, which was most illogical of me.

RosaT - Not illogical at all. Wedding anniversary is only one day, boyfriend crisis would still be there the following day. Anyway, in a boyfriend crisis you would talk to your best girlfriend, surely? Not some bloke at your office, however friendly.

Swedes - she didn't have a best girlfriend. Or any girlfriend possibly.
I took advice from my office husband who had been married for many more years than me.
Popped to M&S in my lunch hour.Bought lovely food for dinner plus sparkly wine. Office Husband said 'Do not worry, by the end of th day he will have remembered why you sounded so pissed off'
Met DH on the train home. He looked at the M&S bags and went 'oh are you not cooking tonight then.
So much for office husbands.