How often do you expect to see someone?

[CatsNotDogs]

Not even three months in, so still very early days and in the "one day at a time" phase. Obviously can't call it a serious relationship yet but you've "met someone" and neither are seeing anyone else. How often would you want to see him?

About once every four or five days in normal times.

But with covid I think once per week is fine.

At least every weekend OP. Even if you both have kids and work, you make time for those you care about.

At very least once a week and a overnight stay.

Maybe once a week or once every 10 days depending on schedules, but obvs that was before covid.

At 3 months in, I'd want to be with someone as much as possible. So that's going to come down to circumstances - kids, work, distances etc. Currently there's the covid effect that's affecting things. At present you're either going to be not allowed to get together at all or bubbled with a partner and wanting to spend as much time with them as possible, seeing as you've both potentially sacrificed your families for each other's company instead.

Depends if you live close to each other or not.

If you're 10 mins down the road from each other then maybe 1-2 times a week.

When I met DH we lived 2hrs apart so would only see each other every other weekend.

Also depends on whether you're just casually seeing each other or agreed that you want a committed relationship.

Are you the poster who posted about your bf spending Easter without you?

I’d expect mine to want to see me at least twice a week. But I’m also not the type to initiate contact, or ask for dates, or pursue a man in any way - so I usually end up with BFs who chase me down and want to see me all the time. As soon as you close in, especially around the 3-month “reassessment mark”, men pull away unless they’ve already properly fallen for you.

In short - if you’re having to ask this, you need to pull back.

I find less than once a week and the momentum would die off, unless there is good reason such as work or family commitments. I only do overnight once in a blue moon as I have plenty of work and family commitments. More than 2- 3 times per week and I start feeling it's too much to fit in around other things and start feeling pressure, I also appreciate more me time these days due to work events of the year (NHS & covid).

I don't have my kid Wednesday night and Friday night and then every other weekend. I had to push OH a bit at the beginning to see me Wed OR Fri and at some other point on most of my free weekends so twice a week'ish. Now I can't get rid of the bugger. It was my kid weekend and he kept arriving and he religiously turns up Wed AND Fri AND said he might pop over this evening! (Said tongue in cheek).

I think it changes over time but once or twice a week with enthusiasm is important. I'd be grumpy if I was doing ALL the running.

Probably twice a week or so?

@BuggerBognor

Are you the poster who posted about your bf spending Easter without you?

I also wondered this. Either way constantly second guessing someone who doesn’t appear to want the things you do is no fun.

If you have to ask then you probably already know the answer.

If it's the same poster I think she said they live several hours apart, hence her wanting to see him every weekend, and not missing a weekend.

Anyway I thought MN pulled that thread because they had concerns?

Every weekend for a date usually Saturday, I used to stay over at his when dd was at her grandma's.

After 6 months same but he used to come stay twice during the week too.

@EvilEye - the OP of that thread probably asked for it to be pulled because she was scared it was outing.

Hello! Nope I know nothing of a previous poster and her Easter problems... and it's not my new mister who is the arsehole it's me! I've lived on my own most of my life, now I've found one who wants to commit and I feel a bit nervy. I see him probably twice a week, some weekends but not all (I find the "every single weekend at least" comment needy and very suffocating sorry!) It's not him, he's lovely and I do like him I'm just pretty isolated. I like my own space, we are both adults with our own lives we can still commit and make nice plans together without being joined at the hip. He makes out he's fine with how we are but I know he's a bit hurt sometimes. Maybe based on these comments I should accept I'm just not one for conventional relationships

@CatsNotDogs

Hello! Nope I know nothing of a previous poster and her Easter problems... and it's not my new mister who is the arsehole it's me! I've lived on my own most of my life, now I've found one who wants to commit and I feel a bit nervy. I see him probably twice a week, some weekends but not all (I find the "every single weekend at least" comment needy and very suffocating sorry!) It's not him, he's lovely and I do like him I'm just pretty isolated. I like my own space, we are both adults with our own lives we can still commit and make nice plans together without being joined at the hip. He makes out he's fine with how we are but I know he's a bit hurt sometimes. Maybe based on these comments I should accept I'm just not one for conventional relationships

Not necessarily.

I was fine as long as it was at least with once every tenish days with the last partner. I think especially if you don't get much time to yourself, every weekend can be a bit much.

You just need to date a fellow introvert.

Once or twice a week would be fine for me at that point I think. Especially if it was sometimes most of a day at the weekend.

I dont understand the need to spend every weekend with your partner.

I think whatever suits you is fine, if you have been honest and upfront about your availability then he can decide if thats enough and if its not he can end things.

I've been with my partner 18 months and we see each other a few times a week, no weekends as he has his son although last weekend his son was away so we did 1 day/night together.
It was lovely but I would hate to do that every weekend, I enjoy my own time and space at weekends.

Minimum once a week.

If it’s less than that you’re a booty call, especially if it’s on a weekday.

My home is a long way away from his. 150 miles away! So if I go and visit I stay for several days at a time. Currently I've been here for a week and I'll probably be ten days before I go. Luckily we get on very well!

When I was younger I’d expect once or twice a week, which included either Friday or Saturday. I was actually hurt when an ex who I was crazy about only wanted to see me on Saturday and not until late afternoon.

I’ve never lived with a partner so now that I’m older and more introverted I love my space and I’d be happy with once a week. And I wouldn’t want that one day to always be on the weekend cause sometimes I just want to laze about on the weekends after work. Plus I get annoyed being around people for more than a day or two lol

@CatsNotDogs

Hello! Nope I know nothing of a previous poster and her Easter problems... and it's not my new mister who is the arsehole it's me! I've lived on my own most of my life, now I've found one who wants to commit and I feel a bit nervy. I see him probably twice a week, some weekends but not all (I find the "every single weekend at least" comment needy and very suffocating sorry!) It's not him, he's lovely and I do like him I'm just pretty isolated. I like my own space, we are both adults with our own lives we can still commit and make nice plans together without being joined at the hip. He makes out he's fine with how we are but I know he's a bit hurt sometimes. Maybe based on these comments I should accept I'm just not one for conventional relationships

I think this is reasonable at this stage in .

Are you the dolphin lady OP?

Plus I get annoyed being around people for more than a day or two lol

Same! I can't see me ever, ever living with anyone to be honest. Most of the time I just want to be left alone.

No I'm not a dolphin lady lol!