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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Facebook friends ARGHH!!!

34 replies

SelinaS · 21/03/2021 12:12

So not too sure what to do really, dont think its a huge dilemma but its kind of dare I say immature. I have a friend lets call her Diana, well she was a friend who ended up being very toxic, nasty and incredibly two faced and a group of us had to take her off facebook as well as end our friendships with her too, which we all agreed was the right thing to do. Diana is just nasty and a very bitter person, she is still friends with one of our girls in the group, (lets call her Sarah) who refuses to let her go, we are all not too sure why she still wants to be friends with her, but its her choice of course. However a few of us, commented on one of our friend's Sarah's post, which was just about dog walking really as we all have dogs and she text me to say, can you take the post off as Diana will be nasty about it and it will all get messy and I cant go through that drama. To which I said thats fine but does this mean we can never comment on anything you put on there for fear of what Diana will say, she said yes. So my question here is, what is the best option? She is so lovely Sarah and known her for years at school but seems to be at this other Diana's beck and call and wont allow any of us to comment but sill texts us behind her back. This seems like we are back at school.. all seems a tad petty really and this is getting kind of awkward? Any suggestions or just leave as it is...The joys of facebook lol!!

OP posts:
PleaseStopExplaining · 21/03/2021 12:16

Delete facebook

NeverMetANiceOne · 21/03/2021 12:18

@PleaseStopExplaining has it in one.

SelinaS · 21/03/2021 12:19

lol ok fair comment!!

OP posts:
Shortiemyboo · 21/03/2021 12:21

Walk away

FeckTheMagicDragon · 21/03/2021 12:22

You all block Diana then Sarah just needs to not comment on your comment. Or just let Sarah know that Diana is isolating her by ‘kicking off’ if she chats to you all.

ElderMillennial · 21/03/2021 12:22

It sounds like Sarah is choosing Diana's friendship over yours in a way which is strange. I don't use Facebook much but it seems strange you should have to all pander to Diana.

SelinaS · 21/03/2021 12:32

@ElderMillennial

It sounds like Sarah is choosing Diana's friendship over yours in a way which is strange. I don't use Facebook much but it seems strange you should have to all pander to Diana.
I know this is my point too..very odd!! maybe best to leave it and not mention anything, thank you though!
OP posts:
ElderMillennial · 21/03/2021 12:33

Not really sure what you were after there OP...

EvilOnion · 21/03/2021 12:37

I've stopped using FB for personal friendships for this type of shit. I use it for groups and marketplace but otherwise I have phone numbers and messenger.

If you want to stay on FB you should all block Diana then neither you nor her will see anything the other posts.

I would also reconsider your friendship with Sarah.

WisnaeMe · 21/03/2021 13:52

Why haven't you all already Blocked Diana Confused

WisnaeMe · 21/03/2021 13:53

Yes I agree, Sarah has shown where her loyalties lie, Block her too 🤣

AdaFuckingShelby · 21/03/2021 13:55

Ah, Facebook. I've come off it because someone had a go at me for a post about an outing with another friend. Life is simpler without it.

LactoseTheIntolerant · 21/03/2021 14:02

I used to have a 'friend' like Diana on my fb, and it was a nightmare. Anytime anyone mentioned anything at all, eg met 'sarah' for a cup of coffee or similar, Diana would comment 'how come I wasn't invited!' etc. It got to the point where no one could put anything up without Diana kicking off and acting like the victim.
I blocked her years ago and also stopped using fb as a method of social communication, I now just use it for hobby groups and am a lot happier for it tbh.

Marineboy67 · 21/03/2021 14:04

"Why don't you just switch off your Facebook and go do something less boring instead oh why don't you go go go " remember the theme tune, Saturday morning tv late 70's

AntiHop · 21/03/2021 14:05

Block diana. You can do that even though you're not fb friends.

Nuitsdesetoiles · 21/03/2021 14:06

I just use FB for community groups, marketplace and events now. It was getting toxic and had too much power over me! All the people I actually want to spend time with I can WhatsApp. I use Instagram for sharing photos.

WisnaeMe · 21/03/2021 14:09

Ive never had Facebook, Im quite private, which is why I like Mumsnet which allows you to maintain privacy. 🌺

AzureHawker · 21/03/2021 14:26

Sorry for jumping in here, How do you use Facebook for just groups and marketplace? Did you deactivate your account and set up a new one without adding any friends or did you just delete all your friends? I like to use Facebook for sharing pics with my family who dont live nearby, work related groups and messenger but I cba with all the other people! I deleted loads of people I don’t really know anymore but it seems to keep building up again and if I delete people that I do know then they will probably be offended if they see I still have an account.

SelinaS · 21/03/2021 14:52

@Nuitsdesetoiles

I just use FB for community groups, marketplace and events now. It was getting toxic and had too much power over me! All the people I actually want to spend time with I can WhatsApp. I use Instagram for sharing photos.
I get that totally, it can get so toxic as I have just had this weekend!
OP posts:
Nuitsdesetoiles · 21/03/2021 15:36

@AzureHawker

Sorry for jumping in here, How do you use Facebook for just groups and marketplace? Did you deactivate your account and set up a new one without adding any friends or did you just delete all your friends? I like to use Facebook for sharing pics with my family who dont live nearby, work related groups and messenger but I cba with all the other people! I deleted loads of people I don’t really know anymore but it seems to keep building up again and if I delete people that I do know then they will probably be offended if they see I still have an account.
I just check on it sporadically and go to certain pages. I try not to scroll. I did unfriend about 80 people recently who I didn't really know/like/privacy concerns. I've been unfriended randomly by people I thought were ok and it's quite hurtful to be honest. One couple I know had quite a nasty break up and the woman in the couple became quite vindictive that we didn't take her side and tried to stay neutral... A lot of this got played out on FB so I had to delete. I actually hate FB in a way now to be honest! It's caused me a lot of stress... Quite a few old work colleagues on there who'd I'd rather didn't see my posts so I restrict access...
EvilOnion · 21/03/2021 15:49

@AzureHawker I do pretty much the same as Nuitsdesetoiles, we live 200 miles away from most of our families so share pictures/converse through messenger or email.

I have only ever added people that I would stop to talk to in the street and even then I find some friends/family intolerable online despite liking them IRL so I just explained that I wasn't using FB anymore except for group purposes and deleted all my friends. No one seemed offended and I haven't lost contact with anyone as a result.

Brefugee · 21/03/2021 18:55

unfriend Sarah and then it doesn't mater. What the rest of your friends do is up to them.

Silenceisgolden20 · 21/03/2021 19:01

Tell Sarah it's ridiculous and why doesn't she just not post stuff then?
And then leave them to it. You don't need friends like that.

bookworm29x · 21/03/2021 19:06

And this is why I refuse to have Facebook.
Get a grip ffs! It's Facebook!

bookworm29x · 21/03/2021 19:07

Your friend btw not you. 😂