New gf

[sohurtandalone]

We have been broken up well over a year his choice but remained friends. Last few weeks not heard anything from him but today he said he has a new gf. I knew he did as had gone quiet. I did the I am so happy for you thing, he said the way he treated me he has learned from this and I have made him a better person. Well thanks for that glad she will benefit from it. I have never felt more alone in my life. Just want to curl up and cry but I have so much work today I feel like I can't escape from these feelings and I am drowning.

Bless you, it's always a weird moment even if you've moved on.

He treated you badly, didn't he.

And he's just done it again. He didn't have to refer back to you being a lesson for him that the next woman can benefit from. I wonder if he's told her that? 'I treated my ex like shit then left her, and it was such a wonderful lesson for me!' I bet he's not mentioned it to her, because it's a horrible sentiment.

Was he abusive?

You're definitely the lucky one here, not the new gf. She won't benefit from anything he learned because he didn't learn how to be a nice thoughtful person who thinks of others' feelings.

Have no contact from him from now on, staying friends just keeps the attachment going on your behalf, he's moved on and probably a bit insensitive of him to go in much detail about it, on the other hand don't delve into knowing what can hurt you.
See this as the time for you to move on, when you can let go of him completely then you will also meet someone else.

@Eckhart he wasn't abusive he finished with me twice during our 3 year relationship because he wasn't sure how he felt about me, I stupidly took him back both times when he told me the time apart made him realise, but the last time he moved away to study so has been easier to stay apart, but you are right that comment just made me feel like the biggest fool alive and it wasn't a nice thing to say,

@seensome it was always him who insisted on the contact then the last few weeks nothing clearly because he doesn't need me anymore . X

Block him, you really don't need to know how happy and how well he's treating his new gf.

Definitely time to kick this one in to the kerb. Cut all contact along with any social media. You've noblely wished him well and let that be an end to it.
The last thing one wants to hear is an about ex almost gloating about how he's learned how to behave. You weren't behavior experiment helping him on his road to enlightenment. Twat

If I block him he's just gonna think I am a jealous sad loser which I clearly am 🥲

@sohurtandalone

If I block him he's just gonna think I am a jealous sad loser which I clearly am 🥲

It really doesn't matter what he thinks.

I can understand that too but have you got the strength to ignore him in future?
You've wished him well which was mature of you but you really don't need to pretend a friendship with him.

that comment just made me feel like the biggest fool alive

A comment he made doesn't make a fool out of you, it makes a fool out of him. Tell him it was a really unkind thing to say, and, given that these days you're focusing on having kind people in your life, you don't want to hear from him again.

Then walk away with your head up, and follow through with surrounding yourself with people who wouldn't make such a thoughtless, insensitive and unnecessary remark.

His life, his comments, his opinions, his lessons, are completely and 100% distinct from your self esteem. You are making the mistake of linking them together. Remember that you are brilliant, unique, very skilled in certain things (we don't know what, but you do), and you are respected by those who matter.

There's nothing special about you that means you ought to walk through life feeling like a piece of crap, regardless of any comments that anybody makes to you.

@Eckhart you just made me cry thank you so much for taking the time to reply that to me. I have never felt so embarrassed in my life I took him back because I believed him not to be his experiment before a better option came along. I am always so forgiving of people and it really does me no good. Thank you again x

@sohurtandalone

If I block him he's just gonna think I am a jealous sad loser which I clearly am 🥲

Tell him why you're blocking him, then. 'I've decided to only have people in my life who don't make crass, insensitive remarks, so I'll be blocking you. Good luck.'

Why do you care what he thinks of you, anyway? What relevance does he have in your life, your decisions, your future?

@Eckhart you are right he doesn't haven't any relevance to me anymore. We have been apart a year nothing is gonna change apart from text messages talking about himself anyway. It's his loss x

I have been in situations like this and powered through and come out the other side aa genuine friends. But it takes work and emotional energy and is only worth it if the other person respects you and is worthy of your friendship. It doesn't sound like this is the case here

I’m getting increasingly impressed with Eckhart’s responses across a few threads. Someone worth listening to. You sound lovely OP, I hope you heal and find someone more worthy of you.

The sooner you block him and get him out of your life, the sooner you'll feel better. The fact that he's gone quiet now he has the new girlfriend tells you all you need to know. You're not really friends.

The "let's stay friends" thing rarely works. When couples split, it's rarely by mutual agreement and one party still wants to be in that relationship. You need to cut the ties on this one and let it go. You will soon feel better after giving yourself time to heal, but what you're doing at the moment is constantly opening up old wounds. Let it go.

I meant his in the nicest possible way but you need to stop this and get tough. Wake up and see this man for what he is. He messed you around in the relationship and now he’s messing with you when he’s not even with you anymore! Stop letting him have this power over you. He’s not a nice person. He only wanted to keep in contact with you to fluff his ego. He loves that you pine over him, he loves that you are sad he has a new girlfriend. HE IS A LOSER. Block him and stop letting him have a hold over you. Fuck what he thinks.

Mean this*

You lot are the best. I told him it was not a nice comment he wouldn't have that and said take it as I want but he cares about me etc etc. I'm not responding It's time to leave it behind once and for all which I should have done the first time he screwed me over. He will know how it feels one day when someone does the same to him x

I hope now you have blocked him? Just focus on yourself now and leave all that negativity behind.

He won't text me now anyway he's basically said take it how you want. He don't need me anymore that's clear enough x

He don't need me anymore that's clear enough

His needs are as irrelevant to you as yours are to him.

Think about what you need. Make a list. Start ticking things off it.

Are you dating anyone OP? The best revenge is a life well lived!

Revenge keeps you focused on the person who wronged you.