Feel harassed at work

[fedupwiththeguy]

As a single mom, I need job stability. I don't receive child support, I have a mortgage and a litigious ex that has cost me all my savings, so I live paycheque to paycheque. We have a trial next month where he is asking for sole custody, so I can't lose my job financially or strategically just before fighting against losing custody.

With all the pressure and covid I am feeling overwhelmed (I am also self represented due to lack of funds, so doing all the legal prep work), so I am not sure if I am too sensitive and tired, or if I am right to feel that my boundaries are been crossed by my manager.

I started a new job in December and I made it known during the interview process that I needed flexible hours. I leave to do the school run at 7:30, work between 9-2:30, leave to do school pick up, return at 4. I work at night when DC are sleeping, and a little while they are eating the snack and playing in the afternoon, but they are 5 and 7, so I need to pay attention and care for them.

My manager asked me to connect to a video call from 9 to 5 everyday. I don't have to talk, I don't have to listen, but I need to be in the call. I found it shocking, and when I said that I did not have unlimited internet I was told that I should buy it if I wanted to work from home.
Next step was to ask me to send a message in the company chat when I left for lunch and another message when I come back. Nobody else is required to do this.
Today, I have received an email telling me that I need to log my start and end hours, as well as my lunch hours, and share them with my managers every week. I am an employee, I am not paid per hours.

I have a very fractured work day and I juggle to do everything without having a mental breakdown, but I feel that this manager is crossing lines here. I am delivering the work, I think that if they are unhappy, I should be asked to log the work that I do, not when I go for lunch. If I am needed, I connect immediately during work hours, but why do I need to be connected (muted and in silence) for 8 hours a day?

Any advice about if this is normal, how to cope, anything, is welcome.

Other things include:

I am a computer engineer. It took them 3 weeks to provide me with one and I was expected to use my personal computer in the meantime. The laptop they have provided is not compatible with all the software that I need for work. I have also been asked to test something on an iphone, I use android as my personal phone, and I have been asked to buy an iphone at my own cost. I have been asked to go to the office while we had an stay-at-home order.

Due to the family court trial, I will be missing some days of work. I notified my manager last week and they made a big deal out of it. They have set a meeting between me and upper manager for this weekend (I don't work weekends) and they don't want to give me details about what the meeting is about.

I don't know if I will be fired, but please talk me out of quitting because I need the money but I am fed up

What does your contract say?

Honestly, while being on a call between 9 and 5 is just weird, it is reasonable to expect you to work during those hours if that's what you're contracted to do/that's when the business's core hours are.

It doesnt matter whether you're paid hourly or not, they need to ensure you're meeting your obligations which if you're a PAYE employee are usually a specific amount of hours per week not your outputs.

A lot of companies have been allowing greater flexibility during Covid but with schools now being back, that seems to be waning. Could it be that your employer expected you to only have to work such a fractured day during Covid and now expects you back to regular hours?

Good luck

In my job it's normal to log in when you arrive and leave and dinner times and everything so I'm not sure what the problem is with that

Also, do you not have home wifi? While the call thing is definitely odd, again I'd expect my employee to be able to fully work at home if that was their base location including access to video calls, website etc

I work from home. And I’ve worked from home with DD home who is a little over 1 years old.

I also message to say good morning when we log in, and let them know when I’m going for lunch and when I’ve returned from lunch so that someone else can take theirs.. that’s pretty standard and I dont see why you find this unusual?

Your employer wants to make sure your working as they cant physically see you. It’s not a lot to ask is it?

I have to clock in and clock out. But whilst working from home, I didn’t have to do this, nor am I asked to buy an iPhone at my own expense, that’s weird. Do you have an HR department? I’d record the meeting, start off with’I’m not contracted to work weekends’. They’re being arses, IMO.

I do have home internet, but it is a limited plan. I have worked from home for the last three years, without problem, but having to video call 40h/week eats a lot of bandwidth. My friends' internet is been subsidized by their companies since it is necessary for their work.

Regarding checking in/out, I am on the chat and meetings all day long, not unreachable. What I find odd is that I have to announce my lunch hours, and that I am the only person in the company required to do so. As odd is to be connected to a call for 8 hours a day where nobody is talking or presenting and I can turn the sound off. To me, it sounds pretty ridiculous.

However, I am glad to hear that many of you think that I am over reacting. I have been working in this industry for 12 years, and this is the first time that I am treated this way, so that is why I am surprised.

Unless they have pre arranged to work outside of the usual office hours then I would expect my team to be work their usual hours. My team has always had elements of home working but the hours are not expected to be flexible

We would also expect someone to use holiday time or other leave if they were going to be unavailable to work their usual hours so can understand why they might be asking about your court days

The only thing that is crossing a line is having the video on all day. That is weird and intrusive. Plus expecting you to buy an iPhone is ridiculous. Not giving you a suitable computer is also odd.

So they agreed to those flexible hours but have now changed their expectations of you? Can your kids go to afterschool club?

I can understand the need for flexibility when the schools were closed, or if you're self isolating. But it is not unusual for a full time job to have set hours. The question here is have they moved the goalposts? I've known people to have the flexibility you describe, and it is clearly agreed.

What kind of time off are you asking for the court date? Are you expecting paid leave? I've worked in places that would definitely allow you discretionary paid leave for a court appearance, but unfortunately not all employers are so understanding.

If you are the only one being told this then I would bring it up with them

I think a video call all day is pretty ridiculous. it all feels like you manager doesn't trust you to get the job done. but a computing job should be about the outputs you produce, not the number of hours spent staring at a screen.

has your manager given you clear tasks to work on? can you show that you get those done efficiently (ahead of deadlines) and us that to argue that you don't need to be watched.

To be honest i would assume that they are aware you aren't working the usual office hours, and the call/ signing in/out is a way of monitoring when you are at your computer and when you are away. It sounds like they are trying to pull you in sync with the 9-5 hours.

@parietal

I doubt its about not trusting her output or numberof hours, its more likely to be about not believing she is working the contracted schedule.

Op have you got contracted hours? Have you previously had flexi working agreed? Are the hours in writing anywhere

Sorry OP but this manager and company culture is over the top! They don't seems to be trusting or treating you like an adult and imo definitely cross the line by asking you to turn up to a meeting on the weekend. They shown no sympathy to your situation. Honestly, such an old school culture, I could have not survived is such environment.
Is your manager a Male? Are you in the States as you spell 'mom'.. the work culture in North America can be ruthless (talking from experience). It not sure if you are there..
Can you look for another job? It will bring you down and you will build resentment.
Hope you sort it out.

You are not being unreasonable. I do not work in HR but they agreed to you doing flexible hours when you took the role and being flexible at the moment may mean logging in again when the kids are in bed etc, 9-5 is not flexible. I guess you do have to give a little to get so I’d try to get a 12 month WiFi contract that would be cheaper in the long run and means you would have more internet to play with but I wouldn’t agree to the 9-5 meeting just maybe logging your work each day. Also I’d ask if the cost of the iPhone can be claimed back through expenses.

Unreasonable = agreeing to your working pattern at interview but not honouring that. Do you have anything in writing?

When you say video call 9-5 are they asking everyone to have their camera for all that time? Does everyone do that? Doesn't sound reasonable.

Have you flagged what needs to happen to sort out the laptop?

Unreasonable = expecting you to fund an iphone. Agree, confirm with them what model is required and that you can claim back on expenses.

You need to sort out your internet.

I agree this sounds like odd behaviour.

However, did you agree your working hours up front ? Ie assuming it's a 7 hour plus day, that you will work 9- 2:30 and then the remaining hours later ? Is that what your contract says? If not and it was more of a "you can work flexibly" then this may be where the disconnect is as I think your work pattern goes beyond mere flexibility.

That said if you only joined in December you will have been homeschooling for much of your employment, so it seems off for them to raise this after a few weeks back at work.

Very odd and I'd be refusing a weekend meeting if you don't work weekends.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Their requests do sound odd. Three main questions:

1. Can you get unlimited internet? Especially as a computer engineer! Surely it would be work out cheaper if you're working from home?

2. Does your current manager know/agree to your flexible working setup? Is it in your contact?

3. Are you outside the UK? Might impact the rights people will tell you you have

If you don't work weekends they can't make you have a meeting then

I am not in the UK, after school programs are not working at the moment, and we had a stay at home order until last week, so no people from outside the household.
Now I could hire a babysitter, but I am struggling so much financially, and I have never had one.
Regarding court, I need 4 weeks (yes, my trial is scheduled for four weeks). I did not ask for pay or anything, just notified my manager that it was happening so they could plan ahead.

"has your manager given you clear tasks to work on? can you show that you get those done efficiently (ahead of deadlines) and us that to argue that you don't need to be watched."

We were supposed to be two developers in the project but the other developer had personal problems and I was on my own for a month. I delivered all work by myself. It is pretty obvious what I do and what I don't, because I was the only one. Now I am on a bigger team, but yes, I do have defined tasks and deadlines that I meet.

Regarding hours, I am not sure what my contract says, because my condition to accept jobs is that they are flexible and I am very clear on interviews. I can't work 9 to 5 when I have to pickup from school at 3.

" Honestly, such an old school culture, I could have not survived is such environment."

I think you are spot on. Old school culture. I have been working on startup all my life before this, and I am not used to micromanaging and this kind of treatment. I always had flexible hours, free lunch, and nobody clocked how long I spent in the loo. In my line of work, there are deliverables, and nobody cares if you have to put more hours or you do it in less as long as the work is done.

"Is your manager a Male? Are you in the States as you spell 'mom'.. the work culture in North America can be ruthless"
And yes, my manager is a male and I am in North America. But I have always have very good managers. I think that is has been the change from startup to a more pungent culture.

Unfortunately I can't switch jobs right now. I have a lot on my shoulders and can't miss a cheque.

Sounds like they don't trust you are working a full day. Why would they set a 9-5 call when then know you log off at 2:30?

Can't they just monitor your computer usage in the background (in secret) like other companies? Your surveillance is so.... in your face. I'd rather have a keylogger installed.

Do you work for an Indian or American company where the managers are on-site in a different country by any chance?

It might be worth checking your contract so you know what it says

"When you say video call 9-5 are they asking everyone to have their camera for all that time? "
I can turn off my camera at times. There are more people in that call, not only me, but 90% of the time everyone is muted and camera off. From time to time, the manager connects and says a name... we need to answer.

"Very odd and I'd be refusing a weekend meeting if you don't work weekends."
The meeting is with the VP (she owns 50% of the company), so I don't think I can say no. I have asked for a description to be added to the calendar, but her assistant said that details have not been provided. To clarify, the meeting is just between the VP and I.

"Have you flagged what needs to happen to sort out the laptop?"
They won't change it. I am using my personal laptop when needed, and buying cables, phones, etc that won't be reimbursed. I really can't lose my job right now, before a trial for custody (my nex would have a field day with that), so I have been pretty submissive to their petitions.