Feel harassed at work

[fedupwiththeguy]

As a single mom, I need job stability. I don't receive child support, I have a mortgage and a litigious ex that has cost me all my savings, so I live paycheque to paycheque. We have a trial next month where he is asking for sole custody, so I can't lose my job financially or strategically just before fighting against losing custody.

With all the pressure and covid I am feeling overwhelmed (I am also self represented due to lack of funds, so doing all the legal prep work), so I am not sure if I am too sensitive and tired, or if I am right to feel that my boundaries are been crossed by my manager.

I started a new job in December and I made it known during the interview process that I needed flexible hours. I leave to do the school run at 7:30, work between 9-2:30, leave to do school pick up, return at 4. I work at night when DC are sleeping, and a little while they are eating the snack and playing in the afternoon, but they are 5 and 7, so I need to pay attention and care for them.

My manager asked me to connect to a video call from 9 to 5 everyday. I don't have to talk, I don't have to listen, but I need to be in the call. I found it shocking, and when I said that I did not have unlimited internet I was told that I should buy it if I wanted to work from home.
Next step was to ask me to send a message in the company chat when I left for lunch and another message when I come back. Nobody else is required to do this.
Today, I have received an email telling me that I need to log my start and end hours, as well as my lunch hours, and share them with my managers every week. I am an employee, I am not paid per hours.

I have a very fractured work day and I juggle to do everything without having a mental breakdown, but I feel that this manager is crossing lines here. I am delivering the work, I think that if they are unhappy, I should be asked to log the work that I do, not when I go for lunch. If I am needed, I connect immediately during work hours, but why do I need to be connected (muted and in silence) for 8 hours a day?

Any advice about if this is normal, how to cope, anything, is welcome.

@GrumpyHoonMain

Do you work for an Indian or American company where the managers are on-site in a different country by any chance?

We are all in Canada, although all upper management is of Indian background. I think it can be cultural. I am from Spain, and the workplace mentality is very different there too. I had to fingerprint on arrival and when I left. The CEO wanted to make sure that nobody was clocking for another person. I was not allowed to arrive one hour early in order to leave an hour early, etc.

But I have worked in Canada for 12 years and this is not the norm, at least in my experience, here.

I agree it sounds horrible being asked to be in a video call from 9-5, and I'm sorry you aren't in a position to leave. I wish you the best in this difficult time.

What stands out for me is that you aren't able to confirm you have been approved to work flexible hours. Being 'very clear' in interviews unfortunately counts for nothing if it's not on paper. It sounds like your manager either isn't aware of or does not agree to you working flexibly. This is the crux of it and the thing you need to clear up. He wants you to work 9-5, you want to work around school drop off/pickup. What has he said when you've said this?