Long-term DP is moving in and I need to work out what he needs to contribute towards bills. At the moment, the mortgage and every single bill is in my name.
How do I determine what a fair/reasonable contribution is? DP does the occasional top-up food shop, but I do all the big ones (because it was mainly me and DS), so he will have to start contributing a bit more there but that's easily solved by getting him to do the shop himself!
Do I simply add up and divide all bills by 2? Or by 3 (i.e. me paying for DS as if he were an equal)? What about council tax - I'm currently paying 75% so that will increase to the full amount - should he pay only the extra, or half of the full bill?
And what about the mortgage - by far the biggest 'bill'? I don't want to complicate the ownership in case things go pear-shaped, but I do feel he would be paying rent on top of bills elsewhere, so should be contributing something here... so what is fair to ask for?
For background - I'm separated and DS is here approx 70% of the time. Having been through one acrimonious split-up with issues around finances, I'm very cautious about jumping in and just sharing everything. I earn double what DP makes and that's unlikely to change at the moment so I don't need the money from him, but he would be paying rent and bills if he lived elsewhere (as he is just now) and I do want to ensure that my assets are protected, but also ensure that DP isn't inadvertently taking the piss by me paying for everything. I equally don't want to take the piss out of him by asking him to contribute say half of everything, thus contributing to a mortgage he isn't on and paying for a child that isn't his (ExH pays a reasonable amount of CM).
Last and perhaps most important - I'm pregnant (only 2mo so that might change) and need to plan finances for maternity leave/childcare etc. I'm already saving but DP isn't - nor is he contributing other than top-up food shops for when he stays here.
So what is a fair way to work out what he should contribute? Please help!