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Original poster

Sex and breastfeeding

32 replies

flubberdubdub · 07/11/2007 15:33

Fortunately this isn't TOO much of an issue as DH and I have a fairly limited sex life to say the least!
I'm a breastfeeder, although supply is low as I'm only giving DS 1 or 2 feeds a day. The thing is, while I am still breastfeeding I am really struggling to see my boobs as sexual objects. I just can't imagine them as having any function other than for feeding. So, when DH broaches the area during one of our rare 'sessions', I really seize up. If he goes in for the suckage (which he almost always does), I have to bite my hand to stop myself laughing. I'm part worried that some milk will come out, and part plain embarrassed. How do other breastfeeders reconcile the two different demands on their boobs? Should they just be left alone until you've stopped BF or can they be both sexual and functional at the same time?

OP posts:

Layla17 · 07/11/2007 16:35

Personally when I was Bfeeding I didn't want him to go anywhere near them and he didn't want to. Since I stopped feeding (after leaving it a few months!) all has gone back to normal and they are much more sensitive than they used to be! I would tell him how you feel if I were you.

MrsArchieTheInventor · 07/11/2007 16:43

I'm with Layla17 - surely he must find it a bit weird if he goes in for the suck and comes up with a milky 'tache?! I know there are some men out there who like that kind of thing, hell, pay good money for the privilege, but if it's something you're uncomfortable with then tell him.

doggiesayswoof · 07/11/2007 16:46

Just tell him. My dh had to stay away from mine to begin with as they were so sore anyway. Then I ended up telling him that they were a no go area until I said otherwise.

mmelody · 07/11/2007 19:04

I keep my bra firmly on during sex. They are a definate no go area since I have been breastfeeding and DP stays away from them too.

Judy1234 · 07/11/2007 20:04

A lot of men like to suck the milk. There are web sites devoted to it actually, But you and he need to do what you feel comfortable with.

I think the milk sometimes lets down when you orgasm too.

SenoraPostrophe · 07/11/2007 20:06

"a lot" of men, xenia?

did you have a lot of men while breastfeeding then? most men I know go positively green at the very thought of touching breastmilk, never mind sucking it straight from the udder.

hercules1 · 07/11/2007 20:07

THere are also sex workers who specialse in lactating for men to go to too.

SenoraPostrophe · 07/11/2007 20:11

yes, but there are sex workers who specialise in anything. doesn't mean their specialities are the fantasies of "a lot" of men.

popsycal · 07/11/2007 20:13

Have you chatted to dh about this ? I did and he couldnt care less. Tell him if he 'goes in for suckage' there is a chance he will get a mouthful and then leave the decision to him!!

popsycal · 07/11/2007 20:14

I chatted to my DH not yours

hercules1 · 07/11/2007 20:14

Perhaps we should do a survey just like we do for other things!

Joking btw!

Judy1234 · 07/11/2007 20:50

A lot doesn't mean a high percentage. I couldn't put a figure on it but lots do.

tigereyes1817 · 07/11/2007 21:24

Definate no go area. a few months after finishing breastfeeding no problem, but not during.

policywonk · 07/11/2007 21:28

I'm with popsy. A mouthful of milk doesn't have to be a big deal (although of course it's up to you whether you want him to go near your breasts or not). If my DP wasn't prepared to get a bit of calcium he'd have had to avoid my breasts for the last five years or so (extended b'feeder emoticon). I think he decided some time ago that that would be the worst of two evils...

harrisey · 07/11/2007 22:47

I didnt like it until BOUT year after I stopped bf dd2 (2 years ago). Now it is great! Tell him he'll have to wait if he doesnt likr it (I didnt and I dont think dh had ever thought of the ramifications). Now, a year after we got back into it, its better than ever!

sleepycat · 07/11/2007 23:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sazisi · 07/11/2007 23:10

It doesn't bother me, or DH
It's all natural and good

I also think it's a lot weirder to be disgusted by breastmilk than it is to be turned on by it

Sazisi · 07/11/2007 23:12

but I would like to clarify that I, personally, am not turned on by it

ShinyHappyRocketsGoingBANG · 07/11/2007 23:13

My boobs used to squirt jets into DH's face if he went too close.. I knew it was DH and that the let-down reflex was not needed.. but it seems the boobs did not! We just used to laugh! It was funny!

I used to let him near them for his own pleasure but I have to say that they didn't feel sexual at all, through the long years of bf. I was just neutral about having him near them; not disgusted or anything. I remember really noticing the difference when bf was finally over and done with and the boobs were "mine" (and DH's!) again!

hunkermunker · 07/11/2007 23:14

Read this book - it's my current companion on the Tube - very, very interesting stuff.

controlfreaky2 · 07/11/2007 23:18

xenia, you do lead a full life

3madboys · 07/11/2007 23:21

lol hunker i have that book, it sits in the bathroom so i can read it inthe bath, i have read it cover to cover its fab

i am an extended bfeeder to, had a few months gap between ds1 and ds2 but not stopped since ds2 as i tandem fed, so thats over 5yrs, i am still bfeeding ds3 and now expecting no 4 in feb, so its a bloody good job that dp doesnt mind and nor do i.

in the early days there was milk leakage but not anymore, i have to say dp is not that much of a 'breast man' but they still get some attention less so at the moment as they are super sensitive, esp with this cold weather, its a killer on the nipples

pukkapatch · 07/11/2007 23:22

to the op, and i should probly namechange, but cant be bothered
dh said they tasted different whilst i wa sbreastfeeding. and stayed about six miles away from them.

hunkermunker · 07/11/2007 23:23

3MB, it's brilliant, isn't it? Some really powerful stuff in it - not sure it's a great Tube read, really - was blinking back tears reading of the mother who donated expressed bmilk after losing her own baby

3madboys · 07/11/2007 23:25

oh yes that was soo sad, but had a happy ending

it triggers all emotions that book, had me crying and laughing, def a recomended read tho i know a few who would be shocked by certain bits of it.

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