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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

i know. another thread about what a shit my dh is

40 replies

starshaker · 07/11/2007 07:19

well its my bday today an dh has announced rangers are playing so he is going to his sisters to watch it. happy fuckin birthday

OP posts:
PrincessGoodLife · 07/11/2007 07:30

His problem, not yours. Do something nice for yourself. Really spoil yourself. And remember what he did when his birthday comes around again... no need to do the same, just prove yourself better than him and make a big fuss of him.

Happy Birthday from me

Original poster
starshaker · 07/11/2007 07:34

i cant do anythin ill just be stuck in with the tv yay

OP posts:
colditz · 07/11/2007 07:34

Why can#;t you do anything?

moondog · 07/11/2007 07:35

Hmmm,what did we tell you Starshaker, months ago??
God he sounds like such a knob, he really does.

Original poster
starshaker · 07/11/2007 07:36

cant do anything cos we live in the middle of nowhere and ive got dd

OP posts:
colditz · 07/11/2007 07:39

Go out for a nice walk then. You don't have to sit and dissolve your brain just because your husband's a ####. that's just letting him win.

The correct answer, when he told you he was going, was to say "Og excellent, I was hoping you'd go out somewhere today!" then keep sniggering to yourself and playing with your phone.

Hekate · 07/11/2007 07:41

Go to his sister's with him?
Pinch the car while he's in the shower and go out for the day, leaving him with his daughter?
Tell him he's a selfish twat?

chocolateteapot · 07/11/2007 07:44

Happy Birthday. I have not seen any of your previous threads but am pretty shocked that he could do this on your birthday. I have to say, if I had a DH who even contemplated doing that on my birthday, I would have a Relate session booked at the very least.

Original poster
starshaker · 07/11/2007 07:45

he cant drive he will go straight from work and will get home at about 11 or later

OP posts:
Hekate · 07/11/2007 07:46

What did he say when you said that you were upset about him making plans on your birthday, leaving you alone, when you would hope for his company?

colditz · 07/11/2007 07:47

Good! He's a #### anyway, what do you want him there for?

Ring his sister and tell her that AS IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY could she possibly remind him so he gets you a card, seeing as it's the ONLY ONE YOU WILL GET.

If she has a shred of human decency she will tear strips off him.

Gosh, I'm quite manipulative!

warthog · 07/11/2007 07:50

BRILLIANT idea colditz!

frankly i'm amazed at him AND his sister.

dooley1 · 07/11/2007 07:54

has he got you a present?
what do you see in this man?

Original poster
starshaker · 07/11/2007 07:55

i got my card and cake lst night cos he wont be in tonight. his sis knows its my bday she bought me a fab watch but shesas ad about football as he is. although not sure he has told her hes coming round think she would have something to say aout it

OP posts:
Original poster
starshaker · 07/11/2007 07:56

dooley i got a cake from him and dd

OP posts:
oranges · 07/11/2007 07:58

Do you have any friends you can invite round?

biglips · 07/11/2007 08:00

have u got anything planned for the weekend? as its my bday tmrw but its not s special age bday eg 30th etc..but prob will be getting summat at least a card and plus my Dp will be playing pool for his pool team tmrw night too - hey ho! its not the end of the world for me

Original poster
starshaker · 07/11/2007 08:01

no they all have kids and cant make it over. going to meet my mate for coffee this morning before i go to college

OP posts:
dooley1 · 07/11/2007 08:02

so if he wasn't watching the match what would you be doing together? Would his sister babysit so you could go out? Maybe you should just ring her up and arrange it

Original poster
starshaker · 07/11/2007 08:05

to be honest we would probably just stay in watch a film have a nice meal and a bottle of wine

OP posts:
Original poster
starshaker · 07/11/2007 08:07

biglips its not just this its a whole list of things. i come last he doesnt think about me. if u look at a thread from a couple of days with the title selfish bas**rd

OP posts:
Original poster
starshaker · 07/11/2007 08:09

just got a text. pick up something fo my dinner i dont want crap again

OP posts:
oranges · 07/11/2007 08:14

I'd ignore him, pack your dd up and arrange a sleepover at a friend's house. And don't do a thing for him - no meals, no laundry. b

LoveMyGirls · 07/11/2007 08:20

OMFG? I would be absolutly outraged if my dp sent me that text.

Refuse to cook for him -EVER again. I honestly wouldn't waste my time and effort on him. My dp once said he was fed up of spag bol (dd's fav so i was doing it weekly) now when i cook spag bol i expect him to get his own dinner, he's never commented on my cooking/ meals since, when i do cook for him he always says thank you (and has admitted he says that even if it wasnt that good) but he wants me to know he appreciates the effort i put into cooking for him.

Have you got any girlie mates that can come and share wine??

Lulumama · 07/11/2007 08:42

IIRC, you are wanting to TTC with him , i would hold off until you sort this out

i remember a thread from a few weeks back, and he sounds like he is a selfish, self centred, manipulative 'man'

you need to take back some control, and have it out with him.. show him you cannot and will not be treated like a 3rd rate maid/ cleaner/ nanny

you are his wife and he needs to treat you with respect, and you need to demand that respect

if he does not like your cooking, suggest he cooks half the week

you need to stand up to him and not take so much of this shite.