When I moved to DHs home town prior to us having children together, I automatically assumed that my inlaws would look out for me. My Dad isn't around and I was moving 200 miles away from my Mum.
I can see that the problem is my expectations, but I can't help but feel disappointed. They have offered practical help with childcare regularly which has been immensely helpful, but I feel like they have conquered and divided DH and I.
His mother has been blatantly rude to me throughout the time I've lived here, ignores me when I speak, challenges my parenting, has even outwardly insulted me. Whereas DH can't do any wrong, he is the perfect parent and she listens to intently to all he has to say.
When I was poorly and struggling, she would still ask me how DH was, without any regard for how I was. Constantly telling me how "hard" DH worked and how worried she was about him. Although I'd been diagnosed with a chronic condition requiring treatment and was up all hours breastfeeding, which she just brushed under the carpet.
When I told her I was struggling and needed more support from DH, she told me I needed to "get out more" and that DH "deserves a rest."
Unfortunately, this attitude and differential treatment of the 2 of us I think has been influential in dividing us. DH thinks he's entitled to more free time and is disregarding of my needs although he denies this.
I often just feel like the carrier of their grandchildren and not a lot more.
Can anyone relate? Or has anyone had the opposite experience of warmer, more caring inlaws?