Am a single mum to two DC; 12 and 8. Am amicably divorced from their dad and they see him EOW. It's been almost 4 years since we split. DC and I are incredibly close. Just the three of us in our new house and I've always tried to make this an exciting fact given the upset of moving out of the marital home; that we have our special new place to make our own.
I've been seeing a new man for around 6 months. My question is around my DC's reactions to this.
I'd intended to keep my dating life separate and private. Something for me. The only reason they know new man exists is because my eldest child saw a text from him on my phone.
They've said outright that they want me to be happy but that they don't like me having a boyfriend. Don't like that he's been in the house when they're not there; don't like the thought that he sleeps in my bed, don't like the fact that he sits on our sofa. We have had several heart to hearts about it and the concerns are that they don't want a new father figure, nor anything which might come between us. Obviously I've reassurred them they come first and are my priority.
It's early days with this guy but if I want it to get more serious in the future, I don't know how to handle it. I put the DC first in everything else and part of me says I should be single until they've flown the nest. I worry they'll grow up angry and resentful. The other part knows that I'd love a special someone one day (whether it's this new man or not). It isn't that I can't be alone; I love time by myself, am so fulfilled with my career, hobbies and voluntary work, and have really worked on myself these last few years so I know who I am, and my worth. But I also know I'd love a life partner.
If I'm really honest, I also feel strangled at times as they are so possessive of me which they're entitled to be. My eldest checks up on me a lot; always wants to know where I've been and who I've been with (even before I started dating).
Can anyone offer any advice please? Have you been in a similar situation?